One way or No way ??

[Bionicle]

My wife (43) and I (50) have a sexually active lifestyle. The problem is she likes to receive a lot of foreplay. I like this also but seldomly receive. At issue here is that she loves to RECEIVE oral and do the missionary positiontion 99% of the time. When prompted, she tells me that when I climax, it feels as if she's got me, control me. While all this can be pleasant, I like to try other various uncomplicated positions and I also like to RECEIVE oral sex and I am lucky to get, if ever. I've discussed this issue if she felt bad, taste, smell or other and my wife positively confirms that I am clean and she doesn't mind. So why not with me ? I have been direct at times when I really would like to receive, I've invited her to various "clean" unpornographic websites and she whispers often: Ohh wow, we can try that or this. But I know it's all talk and no do.

It's come down that at times when I initiate intimacy, she will tell me I want to feel you inside(back to the missionary !) but when I refuse, she backs off. Now I tend NOT to initiate unless I receive also now and then what I like. This is suppose to be a special moment, not a competition to which I feel I have no option but to execute her desires and not mine.

Is this normal ?
    

[KATE535]

Don't forget women need foreplay to really get the maximum arousal and thus pleasure from sex. Don't think of it as a bad thing that your wife wants this. Although she should be accomodating your needs too, so tell her again !!
Remember, it's not all about the in-out-in-out motion for us Ladies, she'll probably go off sex if you take away the foreplay...
It sure as hell gets me in the mood for some hot lovin' Lol

[Vance2335]

Ok, well marriage can only succeed by communication which I am sure you know. I would have a serious sit down chat with her about sex and what you like and what she likes. If she wants to please you and really has no problem with giving oral sex then she should do it.
She may like missionary the best because it may feel the best to her. I know we all like variety when it comes to positions. Myself I love to have my wife ride me, it feels best when she does that. But I always make it a point to do what she likes also. I always give her oral sex, even if she does not return the favor i always do it.

So again my best advice is to talk with her and let her know the problem you are having. If you do not express it as a problem then she may just blow it off like it's no big deal. And do not make her feel like she is doing a good job, reenforce to her that she is amazing in bed.
You could also try with holding sex from her, I know that is tough and probably not the best hand to play, but if it's her way or no way then make it on your terms, do the same thing back to her. I would only advise doing that if nothing else works.
You could also see a sex therapist.

[Bionicle]

Thanks and is definitely not a competition but starting to feel like that. As for 69, the odds are against me, woman on top (any position), odds are against me too. No ffense to my wife but its man on top- missionary, foreplay and oral for her to climax or I have the option to enter her which goes back to the same. Trust me, I am quite open to talk about this but her yes I wish this and personal little love notes, don't seem to matter.
It's still 99% her way or no way. I love to please my wife but we all know this is a two way street and it should never become a double edged sword which I am trying to avoid by posting this blog and find alternate solutions. I am by no means agressive or dirty and fall well within her likings(obviously)

Still lost !

[SixStringer]

As you say, this is "not a competition".  Marriage is all about compromise, love, and giving.  However, you would like to get some oral action along the way.  I consider oral not so much as foreplay but as the main play whether giving or receiving, where many women think of p-v intercourse as the main play.  P-v intercourse is just another option along with several other options.  You could do "69", so you each are getting similar action or one at a time oral, but sex should not be one-sided.  No doubt, she gets off best with p-v intercourse and prefers that, but she should allow for variety.