Sex for the first time.

[Dany1981]

Hi I wanted to ask a few questions. I am a guy, asking more or less on behalf of my girlfriend and to get more knowledge for myself. Are you able to answer questions related to sexual life of a woman and issues related to that?

My girlfriend is 25 years old. She's beautiful and everything but she was never very sexually active, in fact, I am her first boyfriend. She did have an intercourse when she was bout 12 but that was more playing with her friend but she had lost her virginity back then. She's never had sex since then.

I am not sure how to say these things to make sure that it sounds right, English is not my primary language, but as one might expect I guess, her vagina is very tight. We have been putting my finger inside for last about three weeks and my girlfriend felt very comfortable with it and enjoyed it. We have occasionally tried two fingers, very gently, certainly not to cause even slightest pain, but they wouldn't go in. I was a bit affraid to have sex with her as my penis is rather average size but it's still way more than two fingers obviously. Now I'be always had sexually experienced and active partners so I wasn't sure how to approach this but I knew that we can't rush things. About three days ago, we have decided to try intercourse just to see if after a nice massage and long foreplay it could work. We have tride about three times, gently and slowly but I couldn't get in. At one point, I think we might have gone too far... she has experienced quite uncomfortable pain so we have stopped. Shortly after that, I think my gilrfriend had contraption, I could feel her squeezing my finger.

The next day, when I've tried to put my finger in, slowly with lubricant, even that wouldn't fit this time and she started to feel a bit of pain again so we have stopped trying even just my finger. That was about two days ago.

I am not sure whether this gives you enough information but my gilrfriend felt really bad, I was very sensitive trying to calm her down and explain her that she didn't do anything wrong and that this can be something quite normal for a girl who is starting her sexual life.

There is a lot of blogs on the internet about this toppic but I wanted to ask someone who knows more about girls physiology , age and such. What can we do so she can take me? Is there a massage technique, is there some exercise, is there something  whe should be doing to open her up or something we should do on daily basis or a few times a week or so?

[NOHARD]

Hi Dany, so you need lots of info on sex, I will say no more, just google dodson and ross, everything you want to know about sex and was affraid to ask, its all here, from vigins onwards, first time sex, mastyrbating for both of you, how to orgasm both of you, Dr Betty Dodson, runs life class's for women on female masturbating and how to orgasm, you can also post to her.
But its all down the left hand side a whole long list.
You will both have lots of reading to do, but it will be worth it, none of us on here will ever no all there answers.
Good Luck

[Anonymouse88]

This could be vaginismus, which is a condition where the vaginal muscles spasm without the woman consciously telling them to.  It can cause painful intercourse or prevent intercourse all together.  

For now, keep up with the foreplay and using fingers, trying to gently increase the number you can fit.  Use lots of lube, and go slowly.  She can also work on masturbating with successively large dildos to gently stretch herself out.  She might be less prone to nervousness if she isn't worried about performing for her partner, and can take all the time she needs to relax.  She shouldn't do anything that causes pain, just things that stretch a bit.  Another thing that might help for her is to start trying to get a finger in, and if it meets resistance, stop and breathe deeply to relax.  This might allow the finger (or whatever is being inserted) to get a little farther.  

An anal training set might be a good starting place, since they come with graduated sized insertables and the first few are usually really small and narrow.  A vibrator might help, since clitoral stimulation sometimes helps relax the vaginal muscles.  I wouldn't try to have intercourse again until she can comfortably fit something the same size as your penis in. Also, when you do reattempt intercourse, let her be on top so she can control the pace.  

Good luck!

[Caryopteris]

So average size is usually described as 5 or 6 inches, but girth is rarely described.  Penises can be very different.  Some are rigid, but have a spongy tip which, frankly, makes it easier on the female.  One that is very hard to the tip is trickier for some reason.  Then is the shaft wider or narrower sideways.  Those are things that make a difference.  Then as much variety as there is in male anatomy, there is in female anatomy.  Although I remember one of my sex ed teachers claiming that any male anatomy could work with any female anatomy, I know this is not true.  But usually an average male without unusually large girth would be accommodated  (and preferred) by most women.  I would suggest more foreplay that involves no insertion or touching of her genitalia.  Try snuggling with clothes on and touching to let her be completely relaxed for a while before clothes come off.  Maybe that will help her relax.  Oh, and I imagine you have offered a glass of wine.