Aa
any advice
so ummm i recently got a boyfriend. my first really serious one. and well im really scared to be sexually active with him. Firstly he is older and has had sex before with 2 other woman, while im still a virgin, also his past relationships have been with woman of the same ethnicity as him, white, while im mixed with black and fillipino. hes never seen a black vagina before and im worry that if he sees mine it would turn him off.. also ummm well my clitoris is large. it sticks out past my lips along with my inner lips. they aren't overly large but large enough and im scared this would also turn him off....i just need some advice from other darker skinned woman who have relationships with white men.
No problem; sorry it didn't work out though. And yeah people do get easily upset by age. But really age is definitely not everything; I personally don't see a problem with age as long as it's not illegal.
thank so so so so SOO MUCH! your advice is really helpful. though unfortunately do to some problems in our relationship the trust issues over ruled the love.. but even so. though it didnt work out with him im sure ur advice and help can benefit me greatly in future relationships. so once again thank you so much for the help and for being understanding. every other person ive asked for help always told me to leave if because he was older so thank you. :)
I'm definitely as white as they come but I do have larger than average lips/ clitoris (at least for my ethnicity). Also lopsided. Let me assure you not one man has minded. When it comes down to it most men realize that every vagina is different and that can be a very good thing. Also if it's not just a one night stand you can assume that this guy cares for you just the way you are. Real love loves us for our quirkiness.
I do have to warn you (although it sounds like you've definitely had that talk with him) because he has had other partners (who may have had many other partners) and because it's easy to have an STD without knowing, it might be a good idea for you to ask if he has ever had a test. Condoms are very good at preventing STDs but they aren't 100% effective so it's really in your best interested to ask and be safe.
Second, your little blurb says your only 16 -be careful if this guy is much older. Not because all older men will break your heart or can't be trusted but because of laws. In the state I used to live in (WA) a 2 year age gap is enough for a parent to push statutory rape, so even if he is only 18 you might want to wait a bit longer. If he is more than 4 years older, even if both of your parents adore you guys as a couple, someone else could nosy their way and talk to the police. Then if there is any proof you have had sex he could be in jail for 3+ years and then would have to register as a sex offender. I've seen it happen. A 15 year old got pregnant from an 18 year old boy friend and her parents were p/o. He's not allowed to see his 4 year old son because he is a registered as a sex offender. This actually happened in Iowa, not Washington but it could have easily happened there too. -Again, not telling you this to end your relationship if he is that much older, just be cautious.
Finally it may be a good idea to get on birth control. Contraceptives take several weeks to be effective so even though you aren't currently sexually active now may be the time to think about getting on one. Also remember no contraception is 100% effective and only a condom will prevent a STD, so it's always best to double up.
I do have to warn you (although it sounds like you've definitely had that talk with him) because he has had other partners (who may have had many other partners) and because it's easy to have an STD without knowing, it might be a good idea for you to ask if he has ever had a test. Condoms are very good at preventing STDs but they aren't 100% effective so it's really in your best interested to ask and be safe.
Second, your little blurb says your only 16 -be careful if this guy is much older. Not because all older men will break your heart or can't be trusted but because of laws. In the state I used to live in (WA) a 2 year age gap is enough for a parent to push statutory rape, so even if he is only 18 you might want to wait a bit longer. If he is more than 4 years older, even if both of your parents adore you guys as a couple, someone else could nosy their way and talk to the police. Then if there is any proof you have had sex he could be in jail for 3+ years and then would have to register as a sex offender. I've seen it happen. A 15 year old got pregnant from an 18 year old boy friend and her parents were p/o. He's not allowed to see his 4 year old son because he is a registered as a sex offender. This actually happened in Iowa, not Washington but it could have easily happened there too. -Again, not telling you this to end your relationship if he is that much older, just be cautious.
Finally it may be a good idea to get on birth control. Contraceptives take several weeks to be effective so even though you aren't currently sexually active now may be the time to think about getting on one. Also remember no contraception is 100% effective and only a condom will prevent a STD, so it's always best to double up.
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
