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erectile dysfunction all my life - please help
I am a 31 year old guy who has been suffering from erectile dysfunction all my life. I have only ever managed penetration 3 times (for a few minutes) in my life. The first time was when I lost my virginity at 16 and the second and third times were about 10 years ago. When I masturbate I can get an erection, however it is never a really hard erection (certainly not hard enough to penetrate without losing it) and I need to constantly stimulate myself to keep a semi erection. Also my morning erections seem to be getting weaker and weaker as the years go by.
Secondly I think it is worth mentioning that since about the age of 11 I have been a heavy consumer of porn. I tend to watch porn every day and masturbate to it every day. My entire “sex life” tends to revolve around porn and fantasy. At times I have tried acting out these fantasies for real, however I always find reality is never as good as fantasy. Also as the years go by I find the nature of porn I watch becoming more extreme and further divorced from what happens in a “normal” sex life. I particularly like bondage and psychological play.
In terms of sex with other people, I find receiving oral sex quite pleasurable and can get a semi erection, however I often lose the erection quickly. I don’t particularly enjoy penetrative sex, as even if I manage to penetrate I don’t find I am stimulated very much and find it really boring. In all honesty I find masturbation the most stimulating and pleasurable thing. I often go on sites like plenty of fish and pick up women for “sex”, however this normally revolves around me fantasising about some aspect of porn while I masturbate over them.
In a bizarre way I am happy with masturbation and fantasy, however it really is not conducive to a relationship. I have never had a relationship and would love the emotional side associated with this, however I know that I could never fulfil most women’s sexual needs. I have dated a few women in the past, however sooner or later they start making noises about sex. This normally then turns into a disaster.
I have tried laying off the porn / masturbation in the past and once went 6 months without masturbating or porn use, however this did not cure my impotence problems.
In terms of everything else I am quite successful in my job, I have a nice house, car and eat well / take plenty of exercise and have plenty of friends.
I really don’t know how to move forward? From what I have read excessive porn use / masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction and may alter the biochemical aspects of the brain over a long period. I have read many articles saying that the only way to help yourself is it lay off porn and masturbation for a few months; however I already tried this for 6 months and found this did not break the cycle. I honestly don’t feel I would have the will power to go any longer. In some ways I feel I have to accept and put up with my situation. I have been following this pattern for the last 20 years so wonder if it will continue for another 20 years?
Secondly I think it is worth mentioning that since about the age of 11 I have been a heavy consumer of porn. I tend to watch porn every day and masturbate to it every day. My entire “sex life” tends to revolve around porn and fantasy. At times I have tried acting out these fantasies for real, however I always find reality is never as good as fantasy. Also as the years go by I find the nature of porn I watch becoming more extreme and further divorced from what happens in a “normal” sex life. I particularly like bondage and psychological play.
In terms of sex with other people, I find receiving oral sex quite pleasurable and can get a semi erection, however I often lose the erection quickly. I don’t particularly enjoy penetrative sex, as even if I manage to penetrate I don’t find I am stimulated very much and find it really boring. In all honesty I find masturbation the most stimulating and pleasurable thing. I often go on sites like plenty of fish and pick up women for “sex”, however this normally revolves around me fantasising about some aspect of porn while I masturbate over them.
In a bizarre way I am happy with masturbation and fantasy, however it really is not conducive to a relationship. I have never had a relationship and would love the emotional side associated with this, however I know that I could never fulfil most women’s sexual needs. I have dated a few women in the past, however sooner or later they start making noises about sex. This normally then turns into a disaster.
I have tried laying off the porn / masturbation in the past and once went 6 months without masturbating or porn use, however this did not cure my impotence problems.
In terms of everything else I am quite successful in my job, I have a nice house, car and eat well / take plenty of exercise and have plenty of friends.
I really don’t know how to move forward? From what I have read excessive porn use / masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction and may alter the biochemical aspects of the brain over a long period. I have read many articles saying that the only way to help yourself is it lay off porn and masturbation for a few months; however I already tried this for 6 months and found this did not break the cycle. I honestly don’t feel I would have the will power to go any longer. In some ways I feel I have to accept and put up with my situation. I have been following this pattern for the last 20 years so wonder if it will continue for another 20 years?
Yes, and someone else reports that clicking your heels three times and saying "There's no place like home" worked for them. David, please don't waste time listening to this claptrap about deer exercise and cot bouncing. You are too young to waste time on superstition, witchdoctors and silly anecdotes from gurus. Good luck.
COMMUNITY LEADER
One community member nick named naseq reports that by bouncing on a cot for some time he got cured of his sexual problem. While bouncing he felt some thing sliding into pevlevic cavity and his penis became straight and he could masturbate normally. this was his first time in 18years. By reading this I recalled Uthit Padmasan (bouncing crossleged Padmasan- yoga posture). One bounces on his buttoks, cauing Coiled energy, residing in perineum, to aroused. So it is likely that bouncing buttocks may help in some way to some person.Because of medical advances and new drug dicoveries, allopathy is a default therapy. The other therapies can be used as adjunct therapy.
Hi, David. I am an American male, 47, with the same problem as you. Do not listen to this ******** about deer exercise. Anyone can squeeze their anal sphicncter. It will not get better. You have two options. One, see urologist immediately. He/she will give you a special test for penile flow. It may necessitate wearing a device for 48 hours which will monitor blood flow to the penis. there are other tests as well. If you check out fine (as I did) for penis blood flow, there may be other issues, such as low testosterone. Have this checked and take testosterone cream if appropriate. In my case, none of these were problems. Look to your childhood for clues. The problem may be psychological. Do you really believe you masturbate more than most men? Unless you are obsessive, probably not. We all do. A lot. Even those with partners. Yes, you can spend years trying to figure it all out with a shrink, or you can start taking ED medications, such as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. You may also need to inject your penis with Edex. It's not a big deal and produces an erection within 10 minutesd. Yes, there' some minor pain and the erection feels a little bit different from a natuural one, but it's far better than going through life with ED. Just think of what life would have been like for you 50 years ago. At least now there are treatments. All these "holistic" cures are garbage. take it from me. Take the bull by the horns and see your urologist. There is a treatment if not a cure. Good luck!
Thanks Dalubaba I will try everything you have suggested and report back. As for the comments by Caryopteris I would very much like to have a relationship with a women who is not interested in physical sex; however that is not very easy. I used to date women for a few months without even mentioning sex, however I find most women “expect” relationships to evolve to a physical level. These days I think it is only fair if I tell women at the early stages that I am looking for a non physical relationship, however when I do this women seem to run a mile. Since I have started being open about this no woman has been interested in dating me. Normally if I am open about this on sites like POF they just cut contact completely. So I really don’t know what the best policy is? Do I string people along for a few months and then tell them I am not interested in physical sex or do I tell them at the early stages? Also I would need to find a woman who has no problem with my porn use and sexual fantasy. I know this may sound bizarre to some people, but if I had a relationship I would not mind my partner sleeping with other men; however I am aware that very few women find such a setup acceptable.
I think you would need to see a behavioral psychologist/sex therapist.
As far as a relationship if you do not conquer this, women 50 and over often lose their interest in intercourse and sex from what I hear, and are more interested in other aspects of a relationship. And yet I would think they would be the least likely to want to openly talk about sex, so it would be hard to find this unless they aluded to it in their PoF profile. And that kind of woman would probably not be comfortable to learn of your porn issue. Some women have a zero tolerance for that kind of thing. It sounds to me like you have chosen fantasy over reality. I have male friends who really like porn, but they really like real women also. They are just two different interests.
As far as a relationship if you do not conquer this, women 50 and over often lose their interest in intercourse and sex from what I hear, and are more interested in other aspects of a relationship. And yet I would think they would be the least likely to want to openly talk about sex, so it would be hard to find this unless they aluded to it in their PoF profile. And that kind of woman would probably not be comfortable to learn of your porn issue. Some women have a zero tolerance for that kind of thing. It sounds to me like you have chosen fantasy over reality. I have male friends who really like porn, but they really like real women also. They are just two different interests.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you have to masturbate do it with following precognition. Do not masturbate with dry hand. Do not stop breathing, keep your perineum relaxed till you want to ejaculate. Do not over visualize. do not masturbate when you are excessively excited.Each tip is backed by scientific basis.
COMMUNITY LEADER
1 Google male deer exercise; Learn it and do it twice day. this will give your result in 15days to 30 days.
2 Do kegel exercise. google the word kegel exercise.
3 Do Sat kriya; google the word.
Stop if possible watching pornography and masturbation for 2 months. Deer exercise could help you to do that. If possibel you may consult urologist. You may use the above technique as an adjunct therrapy. Your will recover yourself.Wish you best of luck.
2 Do kegel exercise. google the word kegel exercise.
3 Do Sat kriya; google the word.
Stop if possible watching pornography and masturbation for 2 months. Deer exercise could help you to do that. If possibel you may consult urologist. You may use the above technique as an adjunct therrapy. Your will recover yourself.Wish you best of luck.
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