Aa
whats wrong with me?
I'm not sure how to ask this actually i am really embarassed. My partner and i have a healthy sexual relationship but i know given the chance i would sleep with other men. I have had some not good sexual experiences in my life but it hasn't put me of. During sex i want to be treated badly and i often think about having sex with people against my will, i know this is not good as i have had that happen before and it has damaged me greatly mentally but i still think about it alot, why, do i think like this? As a child i was abused would that cause me to want this to happen to me again. It makes me feel bad as a person to think like this. I'm not sure if this was the right place to post this or not. Just very confused about why i think of this and why i want it to happen again.
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At our appointment last week i told him some things i told him that i would rather have sex with strangers than my partner and when i was younger i had a lot of sexual partners, so i think he see's the connection now, i am glad i told him so thanks for helping me reach that decision. I guess there is alot more i could tell him but maybe not yet.
He was doing trauma work due to the sexual assault but he has stopped it for now i found it hard to cope.
I don't think i would ever act on my impulses with him, and i don't think he would respond too well, he is professional in that way, well i think he is, i don't know why i feel that way with him, he is quite an attractive man but if he wasn't my therapist i wouldn't want to have sex with him.
I have a woman support worker and i tell her alot of stuff she is very good but she's not a therapist, but she is a good support. Thanks again
He was doing trauma work due to the sexual assault but he has stopped it for now i found it hard to cope.
I don't think i would ever act on my impulses with him, and i don't think he would respond too well, he is professional in that way, well i think he is, i don't know why i feel that way with him, he is quite an attractive man but if he wasn't my therapist i wouldn't want to have sex with him.
I have a woman support worker and i tell her alot of stuff she is very good but she's not a therapist, but she is a good support. Thanks again
Don't be afraid of "adding more to it." He's there to help you. This is what he's paid for. And trust me when I tell you the sexual assault is directly related to the childhood abuse. He'll come to the same conclusion.
Having sexual urges for your therapist is actually somewhat normal. All the same it might be a good idea to change your therapist if you think you can't control the urges or suspect he would respond to any advances you might make. Maybe a female therapist would be a good switch. Sometimes its easier to talk about these things with another woman.
Having sexual urges for your therapist is actually somewhat normal. All the same it might be a good idea to change your therapist if you think you can't control the urges or suspect he would respond to any advances you might make. Maybe a female therapist would be a good switch. Sometimes its easier to talk about these things with another woman.
He is treating me for ptsd caused by a sexual assault and i don't want to add more to it, i know i need to though and if i can i am going to try and tell him in our next session. I think all the talk about the assault has made me think more about everything that has happened and i am really confused about alot of things and angry that one person ruined my life, well one to start with, followed by several others i went from one disaster to the next. I really hate myself at the minute and the way i feel and the thoughts i have about wanting to be with other men, how weird is it that i think about having sex with my therapist i don't even find him attractive. Thanks for your advice.
for this reason , it's the psychological effect of what you've experienced before. you should get an experts view about this.
Thanks everyone for your replies i guess it kind of makes sense when i think of my sexual history, i have a therapist who treats me for panic attacks and ptsd but i have never mentioned this to him i am too embarassed incase he thinks i deserved what happened to me whenever i think like this. I think i need to sort it out though, i even have sexual thoughts about my therapist and that is definetly not normal it seems i can't stop thinking about having sex with other men. Thanks again
I agree with the previous posters. Our sexual preferences and attractions operate on a subconscious or unconscious levels and it is hard to influence them by our rational mind, so your feelings may have their roots in past experiences and it is not your fault.
Seeing a good counsellor or therapist may be a good and helpful idea.
Meanwhile, I would recommend not to act upon your impulses which you may find quitehard to resist or manage - probably I´d recommend to keep it just in the area of your fantasies, you can incorporate those fantasies into sexual role plays with your loving boyfriend without putting yourself under the risk of meeting new people in reality. These role plays or fantasies may help to reveal those deeply rooted fantasies and if they are dealt with at the conscious level, their power may decrease. Better than surpressing them and giving them even more power at unconscious level, it may help to admit their power in the area of sexual fantasies and role playing scenarious with a person you can trust.
Seeing a good counsellor or therapist may be a good and helpful idea.
Meanwhile, I would recommend not to act upon your impulses which you may find quitehard to resist or manage - probably I´d recommend to keep it just in the area of your fantasies, you can incorporate those fantasies into sexual role plays with your loving boyfriend without putting yourself under the risk of meeting new people in reality. These role plays or fantasies may help to reveal those deeply rooted fantasies and if they are dealt with at the conscious level, their power may decrease. Better than surpressing them and giving them even more power at unconscious level, it may help to admit their power in the area of sexual fantasies and role playing scenarious with a person you can trust.
Agree with sweetpea, when someone is absued it can really mess with their sexual wiring. Also.Be VERY careful about the kinds of guys you're attracted to because your past abuse can manifest itself in you being attracted to and seeking out the kinds of guys who will repeat that abuse. You wont necesserily do it on purpose but you'll find yourself with guys who are only too happy to treat you that way sexually and that can end very badly.
Counseling is definitely important for you. Please look into it. Open up the phone book or go on google and you can find all sorts of 1-800 numbers for depression and addictions. They can refer you to local counseling sessions or other mental health services in your area. I HIGHLY reccomend you look into it.
One of my ex girlfriends had this same exact issue and she never got the help she needed. It did not end well for her. Please get a handle on this while you still can.
Counseling is definitely important for you. Please look into it. Open up the phone book or go on google and you can find all sorts of 1-800 numbers for depression and addictions. They can refer you to local counseling sessions or other mental health services in your area. I HIGHLY reccomend you look into it.
One of my ex girlfriends had this same exact issue and she never got the help she needed. It did not end well for her. Please get a handle on this while you still can.
When someone is abused it can become somewhat "normal" in their mind for such things to occur. You may be reliving what has happened in the past and feeling guilty or weird about having the good relationship you have now. I would recommend seeing a counselor/therapist to talk to about this to help you get over these thoughts. I'm glad that you can see it's not the best way to think, as that is a good step in the right direction. good luck!
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STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
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People who were abused, especially at a young age, will often feel like they deserve it on some level and that can really mess with you later in life. It's the feeling of worthlessness or that the abuse was justified or deserved that is sometimes the most difficult thing to overcome. It's not a healthy way of feeling as I'm sure you know and its exactly the reason why you DO need to bring it up to your therapist.