My Husband Never Wants To Have Sex!

[Women Seeking Answers]

I am 24 and my husband is 25.  We have been together for 8 years and married for 6.  We are both healthy and have a 9 month old daughter. My problem started about 7 years ago when it seemed like my husband never wanted to have sex.  Then after a while it seemed like I was always initiating it and getting turned down!  He just shrugs it off and thinks that I being funny and laughs!  Mean while I feel rejected and depressed.  I didn't say anything for a while I pretty much let it build up for a while and then one night I had to much to drink and decided to bring up the issue.  He didn't seem to think that anything was wrong with our sex life and couldn't believe that's what I was mad about! I asked him if there was something wrong with me he said no.  Then I asked him if there was something wrong with him he said he doesn't think so.  I suggested that he gets checked out to see if somethings wrong since he assured me that it wasn't me.  Need less to say he never did and we have had about 4 or 5 more huge blow outs since then!  Nothing seems to change so I don't even bring it up anymore!  I don't understand it though because he is very affectionate. We are still young and I think we should be having sex more than once a month!  He thinks that its not that big of a deal.  I don't know what else to do!!??  He obviously is interested in sex because I find porn on our computer.  I also expressed to him that makes me feel like total S*IT to know that you looking at that **** but don't want to have sex with me!!  Again....I'm overexagerating!!  I'm starting to think that it's going to be like this for the rest of my life! It's making me paranoid that he is cheating, so now I'm checking our cell phone bills and always watching what he does (when I can) and I don't want to be that person who is jealous but I cant help it.  What do I do?

[eeewww]

Have you considered that he could be asexual? Asexuals often experience romantic love, but not sexual attraction. For men, this can be a shameful subject, as society teaches males that they should want sex all the time, and that they should be far more sexual than females.Some can also enjoy sexual acts although he would not seek them out. For this reason, many are willing to have sex in loving, committed relationships in order to please their partner. This often doesn't last very long. If he is asexual, then there is nothing physically wrong with him. However, if he is having other issues, or he lost his libido suddenly, he should definitely see a doctor. The important thing for you to do is to talk to him honestly about what both of you are feeling. Also, some asexuals do masterbate, but would rather not have partnered sex. If so, it is not because he doesn't love you or fid you physically attractive. Check out www.asexuality.org for more information.

[Thisstinks]

I can't believe there are mostly women complaining about their lack of a sex life. I've been with my wife for over a decade and look at her as if we were just married.  To this day she takes my breath away. In the beginning our sex life was incredible and she was amazing. A decade later, I have to guilt her into sex and when that works she will just lay there or if it doesn't (which is 90% of the time) she always has some issue. She usually has a headache, some other problem or tired!! (which is funny because when I come home she is wide awake, but within ten minutes she is very sleepy?)  Does anyone know if there is medication I can be prescribed slow down my sex drive? I am at the end of my leash and may have to look else where!!

[montel]

If you had relations 5 to 6 times a week, and now not even 2 a week and he is only 25, there is a problem.  Man find it hard to admit, they are very proud about their sexuality and then, when it goes down, they know it, but more than likely will not want to do anything on their own.  You need to help him, talk to him and make him realize how important sex is to you, and make him also realize how his needs have changed.  Then get help right away, first go to an MD that is open. Do not wait.

[capt52001]

my boyfriend of 2.5 years doesn't want to have sex nearly as often as we used to.  Before buying a house together, we would have sex 5 to 6 times a week, but now I"m lucky if we have sex 2 times a week.  I realize I should be thankful for this, but I can't help but wonder what the problem is.  This is pretty much the only thing we fight about, and I don't want it to ruin our relationship.  When I ask him questions about what turns him on or what I can do for him sexually, he says nothing, which makes me angry and frustrated.  How do I get to the bottom of the problem?

[Women Seeking Answers]

Can you tell me more about that shot?  And if he was interested how would he go about getting it?  Would low testosterone make him not able to build muscle?  He used to work out all the time and never got very good results.  He was thinking about steroids but when he researched it he found that it causes to many health problems.  

[Women Seeking Answers]

Have you ever expressed your feelings to him?  There are a lot of things that my husband doesn't understand until I say "well how would you feel if..." and then he puts his self into my shoes and most of the time can see where I'm coming from. My husband is very affectionate he just never feels like having sex. Some men don't even realize that they are hurting you until you say something!  Has he always been like this?  You should never feel depressed if he is not being affectionate towards you that doesn't mean that its you!  He could have issues of his own but you will never know unless you ask and take it from my experience never jump to conclusions and just assume things because if you sit around thinking of all the possible reasons you will drive yourself CRAZY!! I know I used to let  my mind wonder and I would come up with some crazy things and I would just get myself mad/upset!