Aa
Need support guys....
Well. I'm 23 years old. I am one of those people who tends to over-analyze everything and can read between the lines of everything, but I consider myself a good mix of intelligent and being down-to-Earth. I was a pilot at 17, a Realtor at 18, and made my first million in real estate by 20. The real estate market dropped along with the cushy lifestyle I was living, but the habits I formed during that time period of "enjoyment" has continued and even gotten worse. I began smoking marijuana on a daily basis at 17, taking occasional breaks for a few months at a time from then until now. Even if there was no money for socializing, I made sure to come up with money for my "self-medication." That included frequent trips to Amsterdam where the drug is legal. I had been in the gym 6 days a week from the time I was 12, spending two hours a day lifting weights and doing cardio, eating right, getting sleep, and found a way to party and relax while still maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Well, then around the time I was 19, I began smoking cigarettes as well. With my addictive personality, I began smoking more and more, and dealing with the traumatic loss of my Mom at 12 years old and the loss of my best friend at 19, I slipped into a depression where I wouldn't leave my house, conducted almost all business through email, phone, and fax, and asked any friends or family coming to visit if they would stop and pick me up cigarettes or water so I didn't have to get up. Soon, I found myself smoking 4 packs a day. I stopped going to the gym. As my financial troubles grew, the stress level grew, and I found it even harder to do anything besides sit home and smoke marijuana and cigarettes. My one-time unlimited confidence has dropped to an all-time low. I am ashamed of myself from rising to the top so quickly, only to fall so hard and so deep. I used the patch a few times, topping out at a month once but always justifying why I am young and still have time to smoke before I get older and going back to smoking.
As I write this, I moved into a new home by the beach 7 days ago. 5 days ago, I suffered my first panic attack and ended up in the Emergency Room. From the symptoms I was experiencing, I felt as if it were a heart attack. Luckily enough for me, they said my breathing was at 100% and the EKG they performed showed my heart in perfect health. They said my smoking habits would kill me at some point, but I have time to stop doing what I am doing. After a long talk with the doctor, he said I seem too intelligent to act this foolish and my amount of smoking is by far "one of the stupidest things he has ever heard of." I am at a point where I have tremendous business opportunities lined up to go back to the top, I have eliminated a lot of the non-productive relationships in my life, and I just want to make the change and go back to being myself. I feel like a prisoner of the bad-habits I have formed, and more than anything, I want to get myself back into an active and healthy lifestyle of exercise and eating right. With the appetite loss accompanying cigarettes, I was down to eating one or two unhealthy meals a day with little fluid. Yesterday, I went to buy my vitamins and amino acids as I usually do before I begin exercising. Mental boost. Before I went to sleep last night, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, flossed, and put on a 21 mg Nicoderm CQ patch. If anybody has used them, they know that there are 3 stages with 21 mg being the top stage. I used to laugh a little bit when it said anybody who smoked more than 10 cigarettes a day should use the highest level. They didn't include advice for those smoking 80 cigarettes a day!!! When I woke up this morning, I had a healthy breakfast and sat down and broke the rest of my cigarettes, one by one. Smelled and kissed the last one goodbye. I then dumped the ashtrays, got rid of the evidence, and got online to look through support sites. From what I have seen, this one is thoroughly impressive.
I know you guys don't know me and I am nothing but a stranger, but I know those closest to me are tired of hearing me say I want to quit and change my life and the one thing I need right now is positive motivation. I have made the impossible become possible before in all aspects of my life, and I know deep down I can do it again. Frankly, I am ashamed and embarrassed, I know better. But some things are easier said than done, and I know this is going to be my biggest challenge yet. I just want my life back, being the healthy, social, out-going, fun-loving, productive 23-year old I know I can be. I no longer want to sit locked away in my home, avoiding friends, family, and girls, stoned, smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day, rushing to the hospital for panic attacks, hating myself, and watching the years rush by. If anybody has any kind words of support or encouragement, it will mean more than you realize. I apologize for this being so lengthy, I feel like writing this not only gives you all a glimpse of the truth, but forces me to face the truth for once as well. I thank you.
As I write this, I moved into a new home by the beach 7 days ago. 5 days ago, I suffered my first panic attack and ended up in the Emergency Room. From the symptoms I was experiencing, I felt as if it were a heart attack. Luckily enough for me, they said my breathing was at 100% and the EKG they performed showed my heart in perfect health. They said my smoking habits would kill me at some point, but I have time to stop doing what I am doing. After a long talk with the doctor, he said I seem too intelligent to act this foolish and my amount of smoking is by far "one of the stupidest things he has ever heard of." I am at a point where I have tremendous business opportunities lined up to go back to the top, I have eliminated a lot of the non-productive relationships in my life, and I just want to make the change and go back to being myself. I feel like a prisoner of the bad-habits I have formed, and more than anything, I want to get myself back into an active and healthy lifestyle of exercise and eating right. With the appetite loss accompanying cigarettes, I was down to eating one or two unhealthy meals a day with little fluid. Yesterday, I went to buy my vitamins and amino acids as I usually do before I begin exercising. Mental boost. Before I went to sleep last night, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, flossed, and put on a 21 mg Nicoderm CQ patch. If anybody has used them, they know that there are 3 stages with 21 mg being the top stage. I used to laugh a little bit when it said anybody who smoked more than 10 cigarettes a day should use the highest level. They didn't include advice for those smoking 80 cigarettes a day!!! When I woke up this morning, I had a healthy breakfast and sat down and broke the rest of my cigarettes, one by one. Smelled and kissed the last one goodbye. I then dumped the ashtrays, got rid of the evidence, and got online to look through support sites. From what I have seen, this one is thoroughly impressive.
I know you guys don't know me and I am nothing but a stranger, but I know those closest to me are tired of hearing me say I want to quit and change my life and the one thing I need right now is positive motivation. I have made the impossible become possible before in all aspects of my life, and I know deep down I can do it again. Frankly, I am ashamed and embarrassed, I know better. But some things are easier said than done, and I know this is going to be my biggest challenge yet. I just want my life back, being the healthy, social, out-going, fun-loving, productive 23-year old I know I can be. I no longer want to sit locked away in my home, avoiding friends, family, and girls, stoned, smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day, rushing to the hospital for panic attacks, hating myself, and watching the years rush by. If anybody has any kind words of support or encouragement, it will mean more than you realize. I apologize for this being so lengthy, I feel like writing this not only gives you all a glimpse of the truth, but forces me to face the truth for once as well. I thank you.
It looks like Kathyjo just about covered everything! : )
All I can add is to say that your positive attitude will take you a long way. You sound very serious and determined and that's what it takes to be successful in quitting and staying quit in the long run.
I quit back in July07 and started walking that day. I too had panic attacks when I quit and couldn't walk without my husband with me, but the walking definitely soothed the jitters that we all feel when we first quit.
Congratulations on day 4!!!
Your doing really well and should be very proud of yourself!
Hang in there, Time, and yes, keep up posted.
All I can add is to say that your positive attitude will take you a long way. You sound very serious and determined and that's what it takes to be successful in quitting and staying quit in the long run.
I quit back in July07 and started walking that day. I too had panic attacks when I quit and couldn't walk without my husband with me, but the walking definitely soothed the jitters that we all feel when we first quit.
Congratulations on day 4!!!
Your doing really well and should be very proud of yourself!
Hang in there, Time, and yes, keep up posted.
Amen! One day at a time!
Good idea to have your teeth cleaned and kicking your friends to the curb : )
Support is very important so make sure you surround yourself with positive people, preferably non-smoking. Exercise can help both your mental and physical state so jogging/running/walking will occupy your mind and time. Going places where smokers are unwelcome (pretty much everywhere here in NYC) and really enjoy the smoke-free surrounding. Eating healthier is great and will help you with your panic attacks as will the quit and exercise. I used to suffer from them too, but I haven't had one in a long time. I think maybe that joining the gym, quitting the smokes and eating healthier has helped me immensely!
As for Joel's assertion that the best quit is cold turkey, well he may be right but I used Chantix. I believe that whatever way you can, do it!
Good luck and keep us posted.
Good idea to have your teeth cleaned and kicking your friends to the curb : )
Support is very important so make sure you surround yourself with positive people, preferably non-smoking. Exercise can help both your mental and physical state so jogging/running/walking will occupy your mind and time. Going places where smokers are unwelcome (pretty much everywhere here in NYC) and really enjoy the smoke-free surrounding. Eating healthier is great and will help you with your panic attacks as will the quit and exercise. I used to suffer from them too, but I haven't had one in a long time. I think maybe that joining the gym, quitting the smokes and eating healthier has helped me immensely!
As for Joel's assertion that the best quit is cold turkey, well he may be right but I used Chantix. I believe that whatever way you can, do it!
Good luck and keep us posted.
Thank you so much for the kind words guys. Your encouragement is everything I've got besides myself and my patch. Well today is Day 4. The patch has been working well, along with eating some good meals, taking my vitamins, and having family and friends go out front of the house to smoke instead of on the back porch where we all used to smoke. Went to the mall yesterday and spent a little money on myself which felt good. Went to the dentist on Monday for a cleaning to get the smoker plaque buildup taken off and they said they are glad I am only 23 - teeth are still surprisingly white, no cavities, no permanent damage - just gum damage from all the cigarettes. I won't lie, it hurt, but feels amazing now that they are clean!!! I usually wear the patch to sleep so I don't have that urge the minute I wake up, but last night didn't wear one. Big mistake. I slept longer than usual and didn't want to get out of bed, and when I got out bed, I just felt so blah. Made myself have a breakfast and vitamins, took a shower, and put the patch on. Killed the urge to smoke but I am still so blah and I hate it. Also, felt like I had another small panic attack last night, not full-blown like last week but enough to make me take a time out. I read a lot on www.whyquit.com and it's a great website. The only thing I don't agree on is Joel's assertion that quitting cold turkey is the smartest way to go. I don't know about everybody else, but between the 4 packs of cigarettes a day and the weed smoking (A lot with tobacco paper blunts), I don't see how the hell it is smarter to not use the patch??? I swear.....if I don't have something to help the addiction and gradually wean off, I don't think it's going to happen. This isn't fun guys, nor easy, but I think I can do it. One day at a time is all I keep telling myself......
I agree with both Kathyjo and Jizi. Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done. Couple that with the fact I was a pot smoker as well and it's been doubly hard.
Since both women have touched on the smokes, I will touch on the weed. I can't begin to tell you how much better I feel since I quit smoking weed last July. I sleep better and the depression and anxiety that came with smoking have dramatically decreased. You will also save a LOT of money because weed is now quite expensive. And most important, you will get your energy back and your short term memory will begin to heal itself.
Stop the weed and I can almost guarantee that inside of a week you will feel more like the social, outgoing, funloving 23yr old you used to be. Anxiety and sleeping might be a little tricky at first, but just hang tough and these problems will smooth themselves out. I used weed to sleep FOREVER, but now guess what? I'm sleeping well and all through the night for the most part for the first time since I was a teenager and I'm 48 now.
This is a great forum and it's helped me tremendously, so stick around because we want to be here for you. Ok?
Good luck!!
Since both women have touched on the smokes, I will touch on the weed. I can't begin to tell you how much better I feel since I quit smoking weed last July. I sleep better and the depression and anxiety that came with smoking have dramatically decreased. You will also save a LOT of money because weed is now quite expensive. And most important, you will get your energy back and your short term memory will begin to heal itself.
Stop the weed and I can almost guarantee that inside of a week you will feel more like the social, outgoing, funloving 23yr old you used to be. Anxiety and sleeping might be a little tricky at first, but just hang tough and these problems will smooth themselves out. I used weed to sleep FOREVER, but now guess what? I'm sleeping well and all through the night for the most part for the first time since I was a teenager and I'm 48 now.
This is a great forum and it's helped me tremendously, so stick around because we want to be here for you. Ok?
Good luck!!
Wow you've been through alot in such short time and being so young. You came to the right forum. Kathyjo is right..quitting is going to be the hardest thing. Don't ever say you can't do it, you can trust me, I always said I can't quit till one day I woke up and said I'm not smoking anymore. Trust me It was hard, i was very edgy, extremely moody, people were walking on egg shells around me the 1st week or so. Trust me I stopped at the height of my anxiety where everything in my life seemed like it was going to sh**, I felt like I was losing control, I said I can do this as every hour went by I said I can go another hour and another and thats basically what I did. I did it hour by hour. We are all here basically for the same thing, if you need advice we are here to give each other advice and encouragement. Also you might want to check out the webite whyquit.com. Great site for people who want to quit. If someone who smoked for over 20-30 years can quit, so can you.
In my opinion, quitting is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.
We all experiment and then we figure out that we need to make changes within ourselves. It sounds as if you have come to this crossroad.
I think you are ready to put your past behind you and re-invent yourself, good for you! It's hard to admit this but it is also the first step. You can do it! You sound like a more than reasonable kind of person so you need to put your mind to it and quit! You are a very successful person in many ways so you need to apply yourself to doing this too.
Log onto ****.com and read from Joel's library. So many articles there with tons of great advice in helping you to prepare. Also, keep posting here for support and we will try to see you get through some of the trying times.
Good luck!
Kathy Jo
We all experiment and then we figure out that we need to make changes within ourselves. It sounds as if you have come to this crossroad.
I think you are ready to put your past behind you and re-invent yourself, good for you! It's hard to admit this but it is also the first step. You can do it! You sound like a more than reasonable kind of person so you need to put your mind to it and quit! You are a very successful person in many ways so you need to apply yourself to doing this too.
Log onto ****.com and read from Joel's library. So many articles there with tons of great advice in helping you to prepare. Also, keep posting here for support and we will try to see you get through some of the trying times.
Good luck!
Kathy Jo
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Smoking Cessation Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
