need info

[tschock]

I am almost 44. I am pregnant. I have slightly elevated blood pressure.
Hubby is 47, an alcoholic and smoker. He needs to quit both or he will die. His lung capacity is at 30%...which is not good. He lives on inhalers. He is going into stage 3 of hypertension.
I have been smoking since I was 14. He started at 17.
I have tried numerous times in the past to quit...obviously nothing has worked.
I tried the patch but O.D'd on in it because I am allergic to tape. I can't even use band-aids and such. I get an infection every time I have blood work because they put tape near an open wound.
The tape gives me sores that look like burns and feel like burns...the nicotine entered my system much faster and stronger than it should have...I almost died that time...went back to smoking.
Tried orange juice mixed with cream of tartar...they claimed it worked...I vomited.
Tried some pills that the doctor prescribed...felt like my stomach was being sliced open with a machette and I vomited.
Tried various combos of herbal teas...did nothing.
Hypnosis and accupuncture were a waste of hard earned money.
Have tried going for long walks when a craving hit...I chain smoked when I got back home.
I want and need to quit, but I have no will power and I'm "afraid" to give up on my "best friend" for the past 30 years.
Does anyone have any ideas whatsoever?
What worked for you?
Pregnant so can't take any pills.
Any books on how to build will power?
I'm weak, I admit it.
The longest I've ever quit for was about a week...I couldn't eat because I couldn't cook...everything smelled sour or rancid...I threw out so much good food that I thought was bad...and if any of you reading this has ever been pregnant you know that lots of odors make you sick anyway. lol
We're going to starve...lol

Hubby is going to quit in two weeks time and he's already told me that I have to quit with him...he became very angry and yelled the point across to me.
He's going to be using the patch, a fake cigarrette, and lozenges or he's going to try the pills. He'll find out next week which one it will be, as that's when he goes back to the doctor.
I'm scared and don't know what to do. It's bad enough being pregnant, as your hormones and emotions fly,but to quit smoking is going to put me over the edge.
I have this bad feeling that we are going to fight more than we ever have, and it's going to end badly.
The last time I was pregnant he almost left me because he couldn't handle my emotional outbursts....this time I'm going to be the most emo thing he's ever seen...and because he'll be going through withdrawls himself it's gonna get bad.
Please don't think of these as excuses. I want and need to quit...just don't know how. So scared.
It also doesn't help when these well meaning ex-smokers go on and on about the terrible things that they went through.
My in-laws quit years ago and they keep telling us how we will miss the smokes and crave them forever...they told us it's quite a bit like when you lose a loved one...you miss them forever, you yearn to see them one more time, they are always on your mind, esp if you see or hear someone that looks/sounds like them...(compared to seeing someone smoking)
I don't want or need to hear this! It makes me NOT want to quit.
Every person I have ever known that has tried to quit has said the same thing " I will never be one of those nasty ex-smokers who bashes people, yells at them, tells them to quit, etc" And what happens when they quit? They turn into those people that say they will never do those things. lol
My mom has to be the worst ex-smoker ever! She said all of those things too...and she'll walk up to strangers and yell at them and make disgusting noises and faces when she sees people smoking. It's very embarrasing to walk up town with her...so I no longer go anywhere with her.

So anyone that is NOT going to harp on me, tell me how awful I am because I smoke, tell me about all the bad things that happen to smokers is welcome to reply.
I know that I can die! You don't need to tell me. This will not make me quit.
Showing me pictures of butts in a glass of nail polish remover ( a 1980's thing), pictures of people hooked up to machines, open hearts, lungs, and brains of dead people will not help either. I see those every time I look at the package.
Not trying to seem rude or ignorant, just stating a fact. I need support, encouragement, and info...not more abuse.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[canesgrl13]

You have been through so much!  I can totally see why you want to continue to smoke.  But it sounds like you've made some big steps.  4 smokes in 4 days?  That's awesome!  

I am also pregnant (8 weeks along today), 40 years old, and today will be the first day that I haven't had one (hope I can make it through the day.)  The smell of smoke right now is making me sick--my fiance is finally starting to smoke outside when I am home, but the house still reeks of smoke.  My sense of smell right now is killing me.  My own perfume is making me ill.  I'm not throwing up, but the gag reflex is pretty strong!  LOL!

Just take things one day at a time, and hopefully your husband will help you through this.  I wish my fiance would attempt to quit, as well, because that would really help.  I think if he didn't smoke around me, it would really help.  Now I know, while I was growing up, why my mom had such a hard time quitting smoking.  My dad quit pretty easily and then made my mom's life miserable because she couldn't seem to quit (she even almost died of an asthma attack when I was in the 4th grade.)

But just know, you are not alone.  Wish I had some advice.  I have to quit because it is making me want to throw up--plus, I know it's not good for the baby, or my 7 year old daughter.  Want to make things better!

[tschock]

Thanks Jade, I'll check that out.
Hubby has quit now for good.
Three nights ago he died in our driveway. By the grace of God, or by some other "force" he was given a second chance at life though. They told us for the past 2 days that he wasn't going to make it. They said that once they pulled the tubes out one of two things would happen...his lungs would start to function on thier own, or ...it would be the end within moments.
We sat and waited for that inevitable moment. They kept telling us that if he did somehow manage to live that he would quite likely not live long and that he would have been deprived of oxygen long enough to be braindead.
Hubby proved the medical society wrong!
The nurses I've been talking with are still in shock! They can't believe that a man that was on his "deathbed" would go from being in an induced coma to wanting to go out jogging within a few minutes time.
Somehow thier drugs wore off and he shot up in bed. The nurse called the doctor and they removed the tubes that were keeping him alive and sucking the junk out of his lungs.
He feels like a new man now! He no longer has that terrible rattle and wheeze in his chest, he has more color now than he has had in years, he's hungry and wants to go back to work right now. lol

The only bad part of this whole ordeal is that it has set ME back. I was set to quit on the 29th. I have been reading the book " Allen Carr's Easy way to stop smoking".
You would think that standing there in my driveway watching my hubby die in front of me would cure my "need/urge" to smoke...but it did exactly the opposite...it made me want one more than ever.
I know that smoking makes you more nervous...I read that ...but that darn nicotine monster won't leave me alone.
I have had around 4 whole smokes in the past 4 days...but I know that this doesn't help. I KNOW I have to just walk away, but I'm so stressed out that I would rather risk a terrible death than to go without these stupid, freakin, things that do nothing for me. Is that dumb or what?
I hate being addicted to smokes! I hate closing my eyes and seeing hubby die in front of  me all over again. Obviously scare tactics do not work for all of us. If they did there would be no smokers left in this world.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even close my eyes to rest...and this is very bad for the baby I know.
I just don't know what else to do. I have got to be the weakest person in this entire universe...and I'm afraid...

[Jade59]

As usual, I forgot the link, lol, but here it is:

http://whyquit.com/

[Jade59]

Hi there.  I promise not to harp on you.  Let's start with giving you a link to a great website that's helped many of us on this forum.  Specifically, check out the article  "My Cigarette, My Friend"  which is the 6th article down under "Education."  

Quitting smoking is tough, very tough, and using NRT's, IMO, is a big expensive waste of time and simply puts off the inevitable - just sayin'   What you do is you just stop!  Also, do this for yourself and pay no attention to your husband.  He has to do it for Himself.  You two can be each others support (I hope) but from the sounds of it, it's going to be more tough on YOU because you will be dealing with His moods as well as your own with the pregnancy and all.  

The trick to being a successful non-smoker is you WANT to be smoke free, have reasons to be smoke free, more than you want to smoke.  You have an awesome reason to stop smoking - congrats to you : )

I wish you the best.