Dad's just had a massive stroke

[washy21]

Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

Thanks

[mmb126]

Hi, all.  I sit here alone searching the internet for some answers.

My mother-in-law turned 90 years old today.  Yesterday, my brother-in-law found her lying unresponsive on her living room floor.  She was there for at least 2 hours.  Fortunately, we were all planning on going out to dinner with her to celebrate that evening.  She could have been on the floor for days - - -.

Anyway, we live 300 miles away.  My husband went to be with her and the rest of the immediate family.  The doctors did a MRI and told them it may be up to 24 hours before they can come to a conclusion from the MRI?  My MIL is unable to move except a little bit in her left hand.  My husband called to bring me up to date.  When he told her he was going to sit with her, she moved her mouth only slightly.  She seemed to be drifting into sleep and could not keep her eyes open.  She is in ICU; but the only "life support" my husband recognized was oxygen via the nose.

I read on the internet that the first 3 days are the most important.  My husband says everyone is positive she will go into rehab and eventually back to her home (which she told all of us numerous times is where she wants to be to the end).  My mother suffered from a series of minor strokes and eventually died of advanced dementia caused by those strokes - at the age of 90.

Sorry to ramble - it is just that I am worried for her, my husband and his siblings.  I don't want her to suffer and from what I have read here and elsewhere there is pain associated with a massive stroke.  I want the best for all of them and I know that is left best to God to decide.

Thanks for listening.  MMB

[marial321]

Hello nate, my mom had a stroke on 03/16/2013, it hit on the left side she understands us and know who we are, but the only word she says is okay, yesterday she said wow and no, and i love you, she very alert

[sara12345]

I would definitely try to move your father to different facility where there is more communication and care.  First I would definitely try to find a manager at the facility and ask why the nurse asked you why were you trying to torture your father?  Continued talking to your father is a good idea to help stimulate his brain.  And tell the manager that you need more information.  Is he supposed to be brain dead?  If not, then there is hope.  Good luck.

[Lynn1980]

Did he go brain surgery? Im also asking some help because my Dad also is suffering massive stroke.

[linnyloo]

My 88 year old father had a stroke (left side brain) about 2 weeks back.  I got him to the hospital quickly, and was told what a great chance he had.  Things were moving along, obviously he couldn't speak, but, he was holding my hand and watching me, seeming to listen to our talking.  Once the drs. did a CT scan, things seemed to slow down in which direction things were going.  Eventually moved into Acute Care and would show by facial expression that he knew us and understood what was being said.  He responded to the nurses and dr.  After day 3 he began to sleep, and has pretty much remained in this state from that time.  It seemed I would be the only one to feed him or make sure he got medications.  Trying to get information from medical staff extremely frustrating.  Eventually I agreed to let them put a naso-gastric tube in, hopefully to get more nutrition and fluids into him.  He has now been moved into a single room and left to sleep.  Every day I see him, read books to him, talk, etc.  He does respond to stimuli, but, apparently not always at a convenient time for the staff.  One nurse actually asked me why I was trying to torture him....   I am frustrated at the situation, as he is definately still with us, but, deep in sleep most of the time.  He moves his limbs freely enough, and some of the gestures he would use when he talked still occur when I am there talkig to him.  I am at a total loss as to what to do next.  The staff don't really seem to have much interaction with him, as they seem to think there is no point.  I have seen the brain scan and can see there is damage, but, feel that because he isn't following the 'rules'of others, he will be left to expire.  I plan to continue with my visits, reading, etc. and hopefully get him into a smaller rehab type facility.  I want answers, but, can't seem to find them either by asking drs. or looking out myself.  I do realise that things could go either way, but, believe where there is life and there is life, there is hope.  Can you tell me how things are going for your family member, and do you have any suggestions as to what else I might do?  Wishing you well, regards Lin..

[pookie53]

In my opinion you should never withhold food and water unless the person is unable or unwilling to eat or drink and without a specific medical reason why they should eat or drink. That would be the same as taking air away from a person.