Dad's just had a massive stroke

[washy21]

Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

Thanks

[sara12345]

I don't understand what you mean by "every time he makes alittle progress something knocks him back again".  Could you give me some examples of this?  It makes me wonder if he may be depressed which can make someone not want to try.  It's very likely that he is depressed.  Most people are after losing so much function.  And if he is taking an anti-depressant, it isn't working.  The dose or the medication needs to be changed.

And don't judge him for needing to sleep so much.  That's part of the healing process.  Although I've needed 12 hours of sleep every night since I had a major stroke which caused 24/7 migraines.  If I don't get that sleep, my migraines get far worse.  And I'm no longer depressed.  I've gotten tremendous help from an anti-depressant--after the dose was raised.

And is your Dad getting any physical therapy?  If not, get it for him ASAP.  The most progress is made in the first 6 months after a stroke, but more progresss is made even years later.  Let me know what you think of my suggestions.  Really wish you and your Dad the best.

[sadgirlshell]

My name is michelle my dad had a stroke on the 30th november 2012 he is 72 he as no feeling down is left side he can talk to us, all he wants to do is stay in his bed i hate seeing him like this some days he is very bright and some days he is asleep all the time every time he makes alittle progress something knocks him back again . i want my dad back

[sara12345]

I would try to get a different opinion than that there is nothing that she is a candidate for due to her age.  That doesn't sound right.  I would press very hard to hear what options would be available if she was much younger, then push for those options.  Could physical therapy or speech therapy help her at all?  Someone else on this site who is paralyzed on one side is getting Botox injections.  Her stroke is also very recent when the most progress is possible--especially during the first 6 months.  I don't know about the swallowing.  I finally learned on the internet that swallowing exercises could help my swallowing after a stroke.  My specialist gastroenterologist had no idea about them.  But I could swallow some.  If I were you, I would push, push, push to get your grandmother some help.  Good luck to you in this very difficult time.

[distressed00]

My 81 year old grandmother had a massive stroke on Dec 8.  Just the weekend before we were shopping laughing and having fun.  She is like a mother to me because my parents died when I was very young and she raised me as her own.  I love her dearly and I can't imagine my life without her.  I just had a baby 4 months ago and she was taking care of me when I got out of the hospital.  This was so sudden, a friend of hers passed away and she drove to my work very distressed to tell me the news.  I gave her a hug and told her it would be okay.  She called me the next morning and her speech was sounding funny.  I drove straight to her house put her in the car and went straight to the emergency.   At the emergency I told them that I thought she was having a stroke and they did a lot of tests and the more time that went by the more she began to deteriorate.  They transferred her to a bigger hospital that they said was more equipped to handle strokes and the basically did nothing except blood thinners.  They kept talking about her age and how she wasn't a candidate for anything.  I know that time is a major factor on how fast the brain dies.  It was infuriating because every hour that went by more of her abilities disappeared.  Finally after 2 days into this whole thing she could still sit up and talk to us and was eating pureed foods and then her symptoms worsened and now she is paralyzed on her entire right side, can't speak, can't sit up, and she can't swallow.  We had a feeding tube inserted into her stomach and that guarantees her 100 days in rehab but there hasn't been any improvement in her.  I 'am absolutely devastated!  She communicates with us by raising her finger and blinking. I told her not to give up and she communicated that she wouldn't.  I don't want to let her go but as the days go by I'am starting to realize what type of life she will have.  We have so many wonderful memories together and she is the matriarch of our family, she was so full of energy and I hate to see her trapped in her own body.  I just feel like I'am selfish because I don't want to stop trying.  I'am praying for a miracle her, at least I wish that she could swallow.  

[jceb123]

My ex-husband had a major stroke three months ago.  While he is improving, I do not see him ever able to live on his own ever again.  My dilemna;  my fifteen year old son was very close to his dad. We were the first people at the hospital, my son has been a part of every diffucult decision.  At this point, his father is in a rehab three hours away from our home.  We have visited several times over the past few months, but his father makes him feel guilty if we don't visit every weekend.  I am torn between wanting to help my ex, but at the same time, I want my son to deal with this at his own pace.  

[sara12345]

You say that they told you that you would have to find a different way of communication with him.  What does that mean?  And it sounds like he is talking to you and does recognize you.  So maybe he is getting better than the doctors or whoever "they" thought.  I think it's anybody's guess how much progress your daddy will make.  Time will tell.

But the love and visits to him are bound to help him.  My mother was given 4 days to live after a stroke, but she recovered her full brain back, was able to walk, and lived for 2 more years. I think that she really hung on because she so enjoyed the loving visits and was given a high dose of anti-depressants.  

There are better nursing homes if it becomes necessary.  I finally found a hospice facility that was very home like and wonderful.  Also, it was a little bit difficult for me to make out some of what you wrote without any periods separating sentences.  If possible that would help.  But you take care.  I'm wondering how old you are and what your life circumstances are to be able to visit your father a lot.  Do you work for example?  Your love to your father means everything.  Keep me posted on how your father does.