Dad's just had a massive stroke

[washy21]

Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

Thanks

[daddysgirl1986]

My daddy is almost 60 he will be 60 in July 4th he jus had a masive stroke an a huge blood clot in the left side of his brain he has been awake a lot an uses his whole body but the doctors say there's way to much damage for him to ever be bk with us like before but he is living in his memory's from the past an cant make sence an they told us we are going to have to find a new way of communication with him an he doesn't kno who anyone is but he was asking where I was by name but then asked if I was a boy or girl I'm a girl this is killing me he told me that he can't stop it while Patting his head an said I can't make it come back an it's not gonna get better that jus tore me to pieces my daddy has been one strong man today he told me he loves me an hugged me it took everything I had left in me not to cry but he is living in the past when him an my momma were still together I'm tryin to find out how long this will last an if its goin to stay this is so very hard to see the man I thought couldn't never have this happen or die at least I still have him I'm goin to do everything I can possible to help an take care of him an do as he made me promise b4 this happend that is to not let anyone put him in a nursing home I promised I'd take good care of him myself I believe my daddy wants to live now as b4 he really didn't now he told me he wants to get better so he can take care of me an my sisters an that that's all he ever wanted to do was take care of us the therapist said to bring his guitar up there an let him play it cuz he remembers that he played in a band an how good he was an he also talks about work does anyone kno if there's any chance ill get my daddy back after so much brain damage from a masive stroke an huge blood clot in left brain?

[sberdechowski]

How interesting that you mentioned "over medicated" - my Dad suffered stroke within 3.5 wks of my mother moving him from a 5 star asst living where although he had short term memory loss, he was functioning fully and eating whole foods.......because she had a two sentance disagreement with my husband, this resulted in her using her dpoa to move him to a sub par facility which has been cited several times by ACHA for med mismanagement.  I can't prove it but I am positive (I don't like the timing - he was fine under my care from July thru Feb) they missed a dose of his dilantin.  But ever since, if you catch him at the right time, he is quite lucid and other times when he does talk, makes no sense at all and you just have to go with it......like yesterday he was talking about an ice cream pizza........but the aide had told us well they had given him pain medication at around 2 and we got there around 2:45........I was also a bit concerned that they said they have had his arm in a sling for his dislocated shoulder.........well who dislocated it??  It was not dislocated a month and a half ago.......unfortunately as my Mother is a very vindictive and malicious person, we are treading lightly as we fear that she will yet again move him to a different nursing home and we will have no clue where he is........this is the 3rd time she has done this and I cannot imagine  why the facility does not object in his condition.......does anyone know why initially Dad had a stroke on his left side but as of Easter, he was still able to use his right hand, but he cannot seem to see the TV ??  It is very heart wrenching to hear him talk about how his days are useless so he would rather just sleep seeing he cannot even watch TV - yet he appears to be able to see close up........he started losing ability to do stuff with his right side as soon as they stopped therapy.........I am not even sure he is still getting speech therapy to try to get him on whole foods - and he used to be a chef...........and his hearing is also worse and sometimes when you talk to him, he just looks at you with a blank stare like I see many of you mention - I feel so bad for you - my biggest concern is even though Dad is 86, I know that my mother (was not exactly a true marriage in the sense/Dad was alcholic) is not doing anything or pushing for any kind of therapy and I am at a loss as even though his diagnosis when I was caring for him was senile dementia, she was able to somehow get an attny to get him to sign a dpoa revocation on my husband.......have reported this attny to the Fl bar as from everything I hear, just the fact that he was in one county and she in another should have raised a red flag and attny was aware that he was in asst living and a competency test should have been done............I feel horrible when  I leave him and he is wide awake but just looking at the ceiling - I could tell he did not want me to leave - I am treading lightly as I was unable to visit for almost a month thanks to Mom trying to use her dpoa to bar my visitation until I finally found the owners of the place, called compliance and cited the OBRA legislation of 1987 and then all of a sudden the facility backed down...........it just seems to me that I can hope all I want but I do not have the ability to act on what kind of care I think he should be getting - he is a WWII vet - does anyone know if a veterans advocate would get involved to at least try to get him therapy - I don't think anyone has even checked his eyes?????? Would I be able to ask an independant dr to go in and ck his eyes or would that get me in trouble - I am understanding now more how when my husbands father lost his eye sight why he was begging his wife to give him pills..........I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to sit there (or lay there as at this nursing home they do not appear to have him sitting much like they did at previous) awake and not be able to do anything............I read many posts on this web forum and they are all tragic.........but I have no idea what kind of medication they are giving him for supposed pain, but I believe he is also on Resirvatol - which is not needed and they both seem knock him out and when he is awake does not speak normally for quite a while............without a dpoa, I feel so helpless in trying to get help for him - I have the same question as many of you - is this any kind of quality of life??  Dad has always been a fighter, but you need some medical help to regain muscle strength and I cannot believe that the nursing home or my mother, would not be pushing for this...........at the very least , she could take him home under hospice ..............but she would not know what to do...........when she found out I had regained visitation, she tried to put a restraining order against me for Domestic Violence which greatfully the judge denied..........

[Steven1992]

thank you

[sara12345]

Steven,

I believe you.  If your father is at death's door which he isn't right now, you need to at least ask.  All the best to you.

Sara

[Steven1992]

honestly ma'am you'd be surprised about this place sometimes... i am at some of the things the allow and dont allow and i have been here almost 6 months

[sara12345]

Okay if your Dad won't press you to go, I guess you're not going.  

But if your father has had a stroke, I think that your Job Corps would make an exception.