I had a horrible panic attack the other night as I started thinking about my future. I'm a premed freshman in college and I'm terrified I'm making the wrong choice as a career path and will regret it. Being undecided also wastes a lot of time and money in college if I suddenly decide to pursue another career path. I suffer from depression and social anxiety. I have a hard time making friends and so I have no one to talk to but my mom. Anyways, I told my mom about my panic attack and she didn't really engage me in any conversation. When I told her that her constant lack of interest in anything I say makes me feel hurt and insignificant she got very angry and started shouting. She said it was because I was being stupid. She said she's sick of me always complaining and that she's sick of my constant depression. She said she doesn't care about my problems and that they are trivial. She said she buys me everything I could want so I have no right to be so depressed. She also said that unfortunately she ended up with a kid with issues. My father agrees with her.
So I am upset and though I don't feel anger or hate towards her, I don't think I can go back to our relationship. I know she has her own problems and stress but I can't help but feel betrayed and a little scared. Scared that now I have no one to rely on for emotional support but myself as I try to fight my depression. I'm afraid this is never going to go away and everyone is sick of me.