am i depressed ?

[XxLILloveXx]

HI, uhm ill start off with i'm 14 and i think i'm depressed . i'm not very popular in fact i've been bullied since 5th grade its made me very insecure . i used to think i was very beautiful girl i loved my flaws / i always said i wasn't gonna be one of those girls who cared about what other people thought or how i looked . but lately everything's changed i'm obsessed with my weight and i don't believe i'm pretty i wanna change everything about be and that makes me feel horrible i am so insecure about my body . i can say daily me and my boyfriend fight over me not believing im skinny or beautiful . also because f bullying in 6th and 7th i starting cutting . well not really bad i was to scared to i wasnt really ready to harm myself over people . but then in 2010 i just started 7th my grandmother died in oct. and then 2 months later my grandfather did . it hut so much to see my mom hurt and my family fall apart no one was there for each other i didnt know how to take that and being called a ***** . my mom got very distant and i felt un-loved . i was gonna kill myself i felt like no one cared anyway  . then i got this text bout how much of an amazing person i was and i decicded not to kill myself i thought if at least one person cared then i was someone special . i wanted to get a counselor but it was at the end of the year and they didnt have one and my om didnt agree with the idea . so when i switched schools in 8th i took control and asked if they could sign me up for it they did... at fist i was very scared to get close to her we started by talkin bout how i was still being bullied why i wanted to talk to someone . she brought a lot outta of me . ive never told someone so much it brought all f the thins i was hiding out . my mother wasn't there nor my dad . i felt hated in my own house getting hurt emotional and physical . i started cutting myself around Easter of this year and i still have scares some have faded but some i don't think every will . i wake up everyday just wanting to go back to bed there's about 4 people whose known what i've been through whose been there . i'm currently being home schooled i don't wanna be bullied anymore i'm trying to take control of my emotions but i end up crying myself to sleep every night . i'm really sad lately because i just found out my dads dad has cancer in his lugs and some where else and that's what my moms mm died from and theres so much t e upset about . .. i used t have friends to get things ff my mind and now i only have my sister her boyfriend . my cousin . and my boyfriend ... i feel like i am depressed but i dont know who i could tell my parents wouldnt believe it and i cant do it on my own ... what should i do? p.s. if theres errors in the spelling its because the keyboards messed up.

[aries291]

Hey, I just want to let you know you're not the only one going through some tough times.I started suffering from depression around your age. Now, 3 years later the best advice that I can give you is to find a hobby ( going to the gym, playing an instrument, anything that requires you to concentrate will do) and keep on seeing a counselor, with or without your mother permission. I hope I helped and get better soon :)

[giia]

Hi..ur not the only one in ur position...i also wannted to cut my self and kill my self..i been bully since 1st grade i did let it get to me because i didnt care what.they said they bully u because there insecure about their own self...dont care what othere ppl say just live ur live u life for u...i know ur pain my grandpa just died last year then my family fell apart..tell ur parents when ur ready..i hope this helps :)