My family is openly homophobic to the point where my mom told me straight to my face, 'If you were gay or bi, I would instantly disown you.' Not to mention that she has anger management issues. Makes it all the more worse. But I always had crushes on girls. In first grade, I had a huge crush on Britney Spears, and I tongue-kissed a girl my own age in preschool. (She was okay with it) And I had a crush on this sixteen year old friend of mine when I was in kindergarten through fourth grade. I think I may have even spent the night at her place before, but I cannot remember..
Well, behind my mom's back, I got into online relationships with women and men.
Long story short, I am not sure what I am. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do think certain guys are attractive, but the thought of doing anything more than a peck on the cheek just disgusts me. When it comes to women, it is different. I like being with them and have had thoughts about dating them. And the thought of doing more than a peck on the cheek with a woman doesn't make me sick to my stomach.
Am I lesbian or bisexual? At the moment, I am too confused by it to figure it out.