Depressed, thinkin of cutting.

[imonlyhuman323]

I am 16 year old girl, with depression. I havnt had an easy life at all. Almost 4 years ago i lost the person I looked up to the most. My father. Ever since he passed away me and my mom fight a lot. I have came close to just running away or moving out right there n then. Latley my depression has gotton worse and putting a fake smile on my face has gotton a lot harder. I always think it is due to a boy who i really like but dont get to see much and I dont know if hes playing me or not.But he says he has the same feelings and took me to go meet his mom today. But as my depression gets worst the thought of starting to cut pops in my head a lot. I dont know what to do. Any ideas?

[Jking0302]

I hope you're doing better

[imonlyhuman323]

Thank you so much. I never thought of it as that way. It was a great help. And i also do think my mind is telling me not to love again or trust again and its hard

[imonlyhuman323]

Thank you. I have started talking to a couple ffriends that i trust

[Charmii1988]

You should speak to someone about these feelings in person, finding a trusted friend, teacher, counsellor could help You to be able to open up and confide in someone

[Jking0302]

I know this may seem obvious, but sometimes It just needs to be said.  Have you gone to a therapist?  You already know some issues in your life that you could use a professionals help with...grieving over your father, family relations, and romantic relations.  I know that first step of starting therapy can be hard and makes the depression all to  "real", but if your thinking about cutting....its definitely time.  A trained professional can teach you how to cope with the loss of your father in a healthy way, and then other things like your relationship with your mother will begin to improve.  What is going on with your romantic problems could be your mind telling you not to love again for fear of them leaving...even though your father didn't leave of his choice.  medication might be need during the short term to give you some breathing room while you figure all this out.  but that's up to you.