Depression?

[Livlou]

For just under a year I think I have been suffering from depression. I self harm, and have thought about suicide quite a bit. It used to be when my mum would go into these terrible mood swings and make me feel bad, and then I'd start. In may I got caught shoplifting, I was so disappointed in myself and so were my parents. A week after, my mum said she felt like we weren't a family, that the past 2 years we'd rarely done anything together, and she wanted to stay with my nana. In the end she didn't. The next day my dad blamed it on me, his words were "you see how the things we do have repercussions". A couple of weeks after my mum Sadie the same again and she left, for 10 minutes, and then came back. The next time she left she didn't come back for four days. I didn't up fully understand why, and again took the guilt trip. She came back on a Sunday. The following Thursday, my dad was drunk, and he threatened to kill my mum, he also threw a shoe off her head (sounds silly). He was saying "why did you come back, we were fine" we hadn't really been fine, he didnt know how to work the washing machine. He was saying she was pathetic and was laughing at her. I heard the whole thing. While this happened I pack a bag, and took my school bag downstairs. We left and went to my nanas, called the police, and he got taken to the police station. He's still on bail until he's due in court. It's been a very rocky road since that night, I had to make a statement. He pleaded "not guilty" and has to go back to court.
Anyway, I don't know what to do. My close friends now I self harm and know everything I'm going through,one of my closest friends also went through depression and has just managed to stop self harming, but that's because she has a boyfriend. I was going to go see the school nurse, but when I got there she had left. I haven't told my family how I feel and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Last week was the first time I chose to self harm on my wrist area, it's usually on my stomach or hands.

In need of desparate advice. I'm 15, female and I occasionally smoke when I'm stressed (like recently) but its not a habit.
Please please please help

[hopefulforfuture]

Dear friend  ,  
I am also a newbie here  ..  First of all .. I understand that you are feeling awful .I have been suffering from depression and many people have this illness though each person has unique challenges . Please feel that we are all with you and dont feel alone  ..

I dont know how it is in your country but if you are suicidal pls contact suicide helpline .  As i am new in this site also contact senior members  (search ) . This site is good support but parallelly you should get support in real world if you are in crisis .Did you try that nurse again ? You told she left the day u went in search of her  ...
pls reply  ,... Hugs  .. dont give up hope ..  

[Livlou]

And sometimes my sleeping patterns weird, ill wake up at the same time 2 days in a row and then go back to sleep