What should I do

[carl824]

im 18 years old male/ About a month ago I was brought to the hospital after threatening to kill myself with pills. They didn't keep me there, tey gave me wellibutrin/trazodone and sent me home. I see a phycologist every week. Things were getting better, I was getting out of bed and got a job lined up. However suddenly things are getting worse, my medication is not working anymore but my doctor wont give me anything different or new until I get my life better. I am scared because I am feeling very depressed again and feel like asking for more help again. However I am afraid because if I ask for more help they will keep me in the hospital. My parents will get all scared and paranoid again. I wont be able to start my job which begins in two weeks. In result I will be stuck here at home longer. I can either fight and cry through the pain and hope that when I get busy things will change, or risk it all and maybe get the real help I need. I'm not suicidal again but very depressed and on the couch all day crying.

[mklarson]

Sorry for the delay getting back to you. I hope you are doing better with your day to day struggles. You wanted to know which meds I would recommend based on your history so here I go; Based on the meds that you are taking and the one you had problems with, I think you might be a good candidate for adding Aripiprazole.  Google it to see what brand name it goes by in your country. This is an add-on medication that helps to balance out your mood and in lower doses (2-10mg) it can help give you a energy and mood improvement.  In higher doses it can be more sedating for those that are "wired" and need to calm down a bit. There is no magic ball to tell if this is the perfect med to help to you get back on track, but I would give it an "odds on" favorite rating based on the results I see at our clinic.  The trick now is to help get you mood/brain functioning back into an acceptable mode.  Bring your thoughts about this to both doctors using the ideas I mentioned in my last post.

Take care.

[ku111]

You've come a long way!  You should be proud of yourself.  Therapy should be continued.  It took awhile to get there and it's gonna take awhile back out.  One day at a time.  I think sometimes we just get into a sort of "tail spin" and everything we kept hoping would go away or was bothering us just builds up.  You are headed in the right direction!  Proud of you!  Keep talking to your dr's about how you feel and until you get the right combination of medication.  It doesn't have to forever just until you work through somethings and get stronger.  Nothing wrong with forever either-as long as you are happy.  Goodluck!

[carl824]

Yes Wellibutrin for depression (Cipralex made me sucidal), and after two weeks I couldn't sleep on the Wellibutrin so I got prescribed trazodone and it has been a saviour. My suicidal 'plan' was not with sleeping pills, or anti depressants it was with street drugs, but your right they could still be worries. Im not even sure I want to switch my meds. 2 months ago I was hiding myslef under my covers, living in my room with no plans to leave. I was given the cipralex and then the tears and emotional agony that I once felt was taken away. I felt like my misery was the last thing I had left therefore I became 'suicidal'. Since given the Wellibutrin I get out of bed every day, have a job lined up. However the meds have hit its max in how much it will help I think. My doctor said "your life wont be spicy if its just oatmeal'. I think he is right.. Do I need to go find a pill that will give me rocket fuel, or happiness, or a better mindset... or just I stick to the anti-depressants and take the next steps myself. I dont even know what other meds are available. I dont like talking meds with my doctors because I dont want to sound needy or desperate for pills (which im not). So I guess the only other thing that I am wondering are what other med options that I could talk to my doctor about?

[mklarson]

Carl,
I am sorry to hear of your pain and fear, it is real and should be taken seriously.  

Let me break my answer into parts; First, I am guessing that the medicine you were given (Welbutrin) is prescribed in the morning as it makes you more alert, and Trazadone at bedtime as it helps you sleep. I am also guessing that the reason they don't want to give you higher doses or additional meds is because they are afraid you might try to carry out what you told them you were going to do before( taking pills).  One way you might be able to get your doctor to increase your dose or add a third medicine to balance things out is to bring your parents in on it. You can say that you will give your parents all your meds for safe keeping and they will give you your allotment each day. Yes, your parents are going to be scared but be as open with them as possible about the meds helping but your depression is like hills and valleys.  Explain that during the valley times you need extra medicine to get you through to the other side which might be a day, week, or month. Remember the doctors are also scared that if they give you more and something bad happens that it will come back on them, so you need to assure them that you are willing to follow directions like giving your meds to your parents to help him/her be more open to the idea.

If I understood you correctly, you see a psychologist (does counseling but cannot prescribe medicine) and a regular doctor that is not a psychiatrist (one that counsels AND prescribes medicines).  If I got that right then you need to have a long talk with your psychologist about your concerns and get him/her to understand your problem.  Then ask if your psychologist can talk to your doctor about changes in your medication.  That might be a more effective way to deal with this problem.

But after all I have just said, if you feel that your best hope for life to return to some kind of normal is to go back to the hospital until they get it all figured out, then do it.  Your life is far more important than a job when it comes down to choosing one or the other.  Again, will your parents be scared? sure, but my guess is that they are already scared and just want the best for you in the end. If your parents never experienced depression like you are going  through it is going to be hard for them to understand what you are feeling.  Try and think of ways to help them get an idea of how you feel, in many cases parents are more afraid of what they are not being told or wonder if they are being played. So be willing to do things that will make them feel safer about the situation (like the idea of them holding on to your meds, etc.).  

I hope this helps.