I am under depression and my mom is totally unsupportive

[Anelisa]

I am 15 now and have been going through depression for the last 5 years. It just went on becoming worse as days went by. From first i had no friends i was a very good student and got straight A's. I had this positive spirit in me. I was just doing fine until i got mentally harassed by some girls at school. They first pretended to be my friends but their true intention was to torture me. They used to call me names And humiliate me . My mom neglected me at first. She had her own issues at work and with my dad. That didnt matter much but the real problem was at school. Everyday i sat and wondered if something was wrong with me that made all my fellow classmates hate me. Every single one of them hated me. If i went to maybe borrow something they would make those ignorant faces. I was always trying to act kind and helpful towards everyone but when i walked towards them they just walked away. They won't let me play with them and say' go away we dont need you'. At last when i told my mom she said to ignore them and just smile on what they say then they will leave you alone. I did what she said. I still remember that day when i was sitting right infront in the middle row doing my homework when those girls came and sat behind me. They started saying these reaplly bad things about me . when i tried 5o ignore and laugh like my mother said, one of them started pulling my hair and even slapped me several times. One of them bullied and the other one who controlled her laughed. I wasn't able to hold my emotions and broke down that day. It was just before recess. Everone saw me crying but no one cared to ask and just walked out of the doors. After two years the bullying stopped when my mother finally complained. But i was completely broken and felt lonely. It is true that when you have no one to talk to your mind starts talking a lot. It felt like i was going on asking weird questions to myself. I became aware of my senses and asked the same things over and over again. It was like i was going crazy and naive, i lost interest in everything,i even lost my appetite. With GREAT EFFORT i overcame it but it is still within me and sometimes htries to have an impact. It was really frustrating i dont even know how to explain it. I even got some health issues like acidity,dehydration when i completely fainted and had to be taken to the hospital due to low blood pressure,got UTI infection which went uPTO more than 150hpf ,allergic asthama when suddenly i was finding it so diffulty breathing at night it was the worst feeling ever. i almost thought i would die at some point i had to struggle so much and my parents had to stay awake all night with me.but when i got myself diagnosed my doctpr said there was nothing. It disappeared later with a few ayurvedic medications. I still feel anxiety, get irriated soon. I often feel bad about myself , my grades have lowered, i oversleep,have mood swings and much prefer to be isolated in my room. Its become so worse that i have even got into cutting my ownself . I know its bad but i feel so bad about myself. I dont know what to do anymore. My mom has no idea about the cuttings but i tol her that i need a therapist. Her reaction to this was naive she says its all a phase of life and it would end soon on its own. I dont get out much because of lack of friendship and i just dont like to be around people anymore. Sometimes i feel like getting out of thid place And live somewhere else where no one know's me and start a new life.all my friends( who were not truly my friends) were toxic and ignorant and i have promised myself that i would never make up with such fake friends. I would be better off without them. But i just couldn't get out of this.