What should I do? I think I'm depressed.

[liveforever]

         I'm a seventeen year old girl and I think I might be depressed. I don't do drugs or drink any alcohol, and I don't cut myself. I am a fairly popular kid in highschool. I used to think I was normal, but I just realised today that I haven't been acting like myself lately. My grades have dropped (I used to get 90's, now I barely get 70's) because I have trouble concentrating. I have been feeling angry and have had many mood swings that my friends and family have noticed. I cry myself to sleep for absolutely no reason. I often feel very sad. I'm not suicidal, however I have thought about it (just of what would happen, not of actually commiting it). I don't go out anymore, I barely call or text my friends, and I have been a little unsociable lately. I used to want to apply to a very competitive college but now I don't think I'm smart enough. The activities I used to enjoy I avoid now. I was at a concert a week ago, one that I have been dreaming to go to all my life, because they're British and never come to the US, and while in line, I seriously thought about just going home and sleeping. I also have noticed that my sleeping habits have changed, I can barely sleep. My eating habits haven't changed much; I used to be really thin, and I have gained ten pounds, but I think that is really normal, you can't even tell I gained weight. I've been feeling really sad, and thought that the whole world has been bleak and lifeless. I feel like the world is experiencing a great depression, however when I asked someone about if they remember being happier a year ago, they replied that they feel the same.

I do not want to admit to my family that I am feeling depressed, because I think they will feel like I want attention. That's the opposite of what I want. I have been trying to hide my feelings as much as possible but aparently it's not working because people have noticed I don't act like I did before.

However, that being said, I'm not sulking around 24/7, I do go to work, and have conversations with people. So what should I do? Should I try to see if it wears off? I don't really think it is that important or serious to see a doctor or go on medication. Is there a way to cure it by myself? I don't really want anyone to know that I am depressed unless I need to. Also therapy wont work; I'm just not that type of person.

[beenthere79]

bubbles, my heart goes out to you.  I know it seems like you are somewhere you would like to escape from, and you probably feel like you can't take it anymore.  But let me tell you the good news.  YOU are not the problem.  Trust yourself.  If you know you have not done anything wrong, refuse to be treated the way you are being treated.  I bet most of those girls DO like you but they don't have the strength to stand up to the ***** in the group.  And guaranteed she isn't a happy person herself--the only happiness she has she seems to derive from making other people feel small.  WHY?? because she feels small.  I went through this and I had to be all by myself for a while, with no friends at all.  By junior year year of hs I was class president.  Depression?? you may feel depressed, but who wouldn't under your circumstances.  I think you are probably fine, you just need to get through this storm.  You  will survive.  Be willing to take a stand and have no friends if that is what happens.  Tell your friends that you love that you love them, but cannot continue to be part of a group that is constantly talking about others.  You can do it.

[Didydeanzy]

Its werid how i feel its simular but different, 3 years ago my parents split i wasnt upset but for some reason things have just gone down hill from there, i got anerexic cose i hated myself and i still do i think im and ugly worthless person at skl im quite and get picked on alot i have my close friends but thier not in my classes i hate being at skl atm i juat deel like crying half the time, at home i dont get on with my step dad we fight alot and sometimes he willl hit me  i just hate him cose since he came into my home everythings changed even my mum its like im loosing grip on everything i lost my mates after i got better from anerexia my whole house has changed and so have i, wen im a round my mates i can sometimes forget about it alll but on my own i cant stamd myself but now my moods randomly changing i will b laughing for no reason then crying afew minuets later, afew months ago i met a guy who helps me but after i got drunk my parents blamed him and my step dad kicked him out my house and made my mum and everyone make sure i never saw him again things got worse as he was my life line i agree tht he did make me start thinking about self harmong but it helped me ao much instead f not earing i hurt myself instead it just meens i can see my mates cose wen i was anerexic i couldnt go out or move cose i could hav died, im easyly addicted to things and have anger issues and control issues after all these changes my grades at skl are dropping masively and im ddoing my gcses now i i smoke and carnt deal without it i drink exsesivley and do drugs and cut myself regulary, i also hav a large group of depressed friends one of them has curentsly been removed from his house and put under 24 hour supervision so he carnt kill himself although i feel upset alot of the time telling how ifeel is deificult i feel emptey and holow like im not me anymore i can barley keep myself on the ground and will do anything to feel better but sometimes i purposeley make myself upset so i can feel somthing but this nothingless i just dont know wat to do i know if i told my mum she would make me stop smoking drinking and cuting which is everything tht makes me feel good and stop me going out to see my mates which are the only things i live for i know without them i wouldnt care about killing myself its only with them do i start to feel normal i know i need help but im stuck i hav no idea what to do :(

[mike1472]

hello everyone my name is michael richards im from colorado springs colorado i was born on thanks giving day 1991 im 20 years old now and currently live in florida!!! the reason i give this imformation away is because i hope someone who knows me will read this!!! i read alot of your comments and i felt like u guys needed a point of veiw from my life!! as my life began to grow i began to experience things i could never understand, the older i got the more emotional i grew inside. my family was always strict on the whole successfull thing and strived for me to become something important in life! i went to school got poor grades most of the time. also was sent to the principles office at least once a day.  i grew up a problem child my brothers and sister hated me andin school despized me as part of their family. i was both phisicly and verbally abuse by my parents, i had no friends or anybody to talk to i was and felt worthless to this world. so at the age of thirteen i had made the decition to run away and never turn back. for a few months i lived under bridges, abandonde houses basiclly any where i could i survived off of someone elses income and had no way to make money. as the months soon years passed i started realizing if i didnt turn back i wasnt going to make it to see my sixteenth birthday! so i turned back and went home. for a while things started to seem ok i wasnt in trouble as much my parents moved so i found a friend to hang out with in the new neiborhood. things started seeming great until my mom and dad were arguing about my wellbeing! me being as nosy as i am was listening to their conversation downstairs when i herd my mom ask me to come up stairs to talk to them BTW this whole talk thing was a first for me! normally when i got in trouble i was beatin till i no more tears to cry., anyways my mom had requested my dad tell me... idk what he was supposed to tell me so i wasnt expecting to hear what i was going to hear. my dad had told me that he wasnt my real father. to my suprise i didnt really suprise me. i always had a feeling i was different from my brothers and sister. so i told them  i was leaving for a week to get away from all the ******** and go think about what lies ahead of me! i never went back!! i decided that enough was enough so i once again became homeless with no job food or money just the clothes on my back. my friends mom had realized what was going on so she took me in as her own son which till this day i could never repay her for. i was finally happy i was allowed to do what i wanted and nobody cared what i did . so i started to get into marijuana. i smoked it on a daily occasion. then i started hanging out with more people and started making a name for myself. but i didnt realize that the crowd i was hanging around with was the wrong type of croud. so at about the age of 15 ,16 i started creating more time for myself which eventually statred making me think alot more too!! i looked back at my recent past and relized i didnt know what the meaning of happiness was it really got to me!! so i started drinking to num the pain.  another year had passed and one day i woke up drenched in tears and didnt know why!! i had then realized that i was extremly stressed and depressed . i couldnt find anything to help make me feel better so i started thinking about suicide.  i told myself i wanted to die because i felt worthless, and felt like everybody was watching me but nobody cared or bothered to help. i started thinking of ways to do it like hanging myslef in my moms closet or stealing my dads truck and raming it off the the mounntain cliffs i even thought of putting a gun to  my head and making it easy on myself  and just simply pull the trigger. it turned me into the person i never wanted to be  at the age of eighteen i had decided i was going to end my own life so wrote all over the internet that i was going to kill myself to my family , freinds and even people i didnt know. nobody cared as a matter of fact people actuallu incouraged me to do it my own mom told me it would everybodys life easier if i was never born!! i took it straight to the heart well watever was left of it!! so i went into my freinds moms medicine cabinet and took all her pills bottles. i went into the the bathroom turned on the shower and began swollowing all these pills i can only remeber a few names of them larazapam, oxicodone, fenigan,estrometaphine. as i took all the pills i began to lay in the bathtub that was full of hot water i looked back at my past and thought of the reasons i was doing this then fell asleep about four weeks later i wake up in a hospital with doctors all over me and my best friend siiting across the hall crying.. i stood up ,took all these hoses and wires off of me and began to walk twards him i had tapped him on the soulder and told him you dont have to cry anymore... to his suprise he turned around and had realized i was standing over him that very moment i felt this feeling in my heart like somone had opened my eyes and and emtpy heart and had fillied it with the things that  matter most to you!! since this day i have wondered if god saved me or if i just wasnt meant to die. despite all the regret and hatfullness ive endured in my life i can say i am proud of who i am today if it wasnt for my past i dont think i would be alive and i thank my freinds and family for that!! so just let my life story kind of help you to realize that despite what  your going through,, ur not alone ... ive been throught it all belive me and to say the least im glad this world is full of chaos and regret hate direspect dishonership un worthiness and down right bad because what doenst kill us only make us stronger and we have had alot of close calls i hope and prey this comment will help someone somday to understand what there going through

[ljp87]

im 14 years old and i just feel like **** all the time, i have no interest in anything, im sad all the time i cant remember the last time anything remotly good happened to me i have suicidal thoughts all the time, i feel like everyone i know would be better off without me i also cut myself on occassion i also drink and smoke etc. i want to know what i should do i cant even imagine telling my parents my dad is distant and my mum says im worthless to my face i dont know what to do can some1 please help

[maisy265]

My parents are like that everytime my mums out the house my stepdad just has a go at me all the time and says he hates me he smashed my ps3 up because i didnt clean my room his crazy..

[babycomeback]

I feel the same as the girl in the fist story but im 13... and i dont cry myself to sleep. Ifeel really sad all the time and smiling is foreign to me. My friends have noticed that ove gotten quiet latley and look like something happened to me. My parents are always tellong me they dont like me, im not even exagerating my dad literly said to my face " i really dont loke you, ypu know what? Were gonna send you away" me an dmy whole family alwaus get into arguments and i feel like ill never amount to anything. I feel like nobady in this world loves me... i can barley talk to my friend, most of the time i dont even want to. All i want is to be happy again and have life be like it was before i got stuck in this stupid funk.