Whats wrong with me?!?!?!?!

[haylie710]

I am upset all the time, feel worthless, i try and skip meals during the day but end up binging at night, i have purged 3 times but attempted hundreds of times, i am always checking food lables, i have cut myself 9 times, but the cuts keep getting bigger and deeper. I am 14, and barely talk to anyone anymore, especially my parents, i think my mom is mentally and verbally abusive. but from what you have heard, does anyone think i have a really good chance of having depression or an eating disorder, or anything else you can think of from what i wrote above??? please help

[magpieee]

Haylie,

It is very important that you find an adult, or someone your age, to talk to immediately. What your going through is not typical of a 14 year old girl, and you need to find help before you get hurt even more. Try seeking the help of a teacher, or school guidance counselor. But, needless to say, be careful who you tell things to, because if words get in the ears of wrong people, it can turn into something you don't want it to be. Please, get help for yourself, and take care.

Being a teenager myself, and also having issues that relate/have related to you, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. And that's a promise.

[HGR23]

All the symptoms you have listed point to an eating disorder and self injury. It is important to make sure that you keep talking. What I mean is that you find someone who is trust worthy and open up to them. The worst thing you can do in this situation is to close yourself off from people who can help. I have recovered from anorexia/bulimia and it was crucial for me to have a mentor that I could talk to when I needed. Both my parents were abusive. My mentor helped me through their abuse and my own eating disorder. So anyway, I would suggest finding a mentor. Message me if you need to chat or have any questions.

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

I could happen, but it isn't likely.  Girls your age are the population most at risk for eating disorders...most people with bulimia never lose much weight, and people with binge eating disorders usually gain weight.  Starving during the day, binging at night and sometimes purging will keep your weight pretty much stable, doctors know that.  
Another thing...when you have an abusive parent it is -crucial- to have an external support network.  Not just the proverbial "trusted adult", but friends, maybe even a boyfriend (or a girlfreind if you bread's buttered on that side), who you can count on for support, and maybe a place to go in an emergency.  

[haylie710]

What if no one beleives me because they cant see that I have lost any weight and i fall through the cracks?

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

Beleive me, I know the feeling.  Eating disorders aren't defined by how much weight you lose, they're defined by having a screwy relationship with food.  That can mean starving yourself (even if you're not good at it), making yourself throw up, and/or binge eating.  You do some of all 3, so even if you can't lose (or keep off) the weight, your eating is still disordered.  

[haylie710]

but i keep gaining back the weight i lose because i mess up and binge
i have only lost 7lbs at the most, and then it comes back.

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

You've definitely got an eating disorder.  Any depression you're experiencing may be related to the self image issues that develop with eating disorders.  

[pink2385]

Well I think I know almost exactly what you're going thru, I may just be going thru the same thing myself. Let's message about this?

[haylie710]

I couldnt get the food up. and one of my friends sorta knows, she knew when i started but then thought i stopped.

[pink2385]

I think that there is definitely a possibility of u having depression and/or an eating disorder. Eating disorders are often linked to psychological disorders, and having a verbally/mentally abusive mom could definitely cause it. By attempted, do you mean you stopped yourself from purging, or you tied to purge and couldn't get the food up? Has anyone noticed these cuts, and have you talked to anyone about these things?