Hi, I'm sorry that you are finding things such a struggle at the moment but as a mum of a teenager who has a mood disorder and having bi-polar disorder myself I can say that feeling like this when depressed can be overwhelming but can and does pass with help and support.
Have you seen your doctor about how you are feeling at the moment as you don't say? If so, Are you taking any medication for this depressive episode?
You obviously need support and guilt, despair and frustration about your current state is understandable. Does your mum know how you are feeling?
Please go to see your doctor a.sa.p and explain how you feel, you don't need to cope with this on your own.
Keep in touch and take care.
Yes, the the above poster has given you wise and kind words. I want to second that talking to your mom or dad is really imperative. They can get you to someone to talk to And to REALLY diagnosie you in a clinical way. If you are depressed and having trouble finding the will to live, it would be so very important that you seek treatment.
Talk to your mom and be honest, please.
One of the reasons you may be fighting with her is it is an outlet to your stress and she is a safe person. Try not to fall into this trap with your loved ones. It becomes a pattern and negatively impacts relationships now and in the future. Find OTHER outlets.
I want to recommend that you get some exercise on a regular basis. It is a natural way of healing any mood issues going on. It won't work to treat clinical depression but it helps overall. good luck dear take care of yourself