so i’m a 14 year old girl and i’ve recently been depressed because of intrusive thoughts. i think of everyone in a sexual way and this includes my family. i cant even be around them without thinking about it and it’s ruining me. i know i don’t actually want to **** my family but these thoughts won’t leave my brain. and i had a couple incidents with my brother. he is severely autistic so he’s not responsive to these things mostly. like 4 or 5 years ago i didn’t know what a ball sack felt like??? so i just touched his, the whole thing only lasted like 5 seconds. the second is one i feel very guilty for. i had previously watched porn and knew i was into grinding, one day when no one was in the room i just sat on my brothers lap and grinded on him. i feel like **** just writing this. it didn’t do anything for me and it lasted legit like 2 seconds then i just got off. i was tempted to try again but i held myself back, plus my mom came in. this was 2-3 years ago. i also previously had dreams of performing sexual acts with family members. i feel horrible since i took advantage of his disability. idk what to do but i feel like ****, these thoughts and the guilt i have are controlling my life. this probably isn’t the right forum to post this to but here we go. i just don’t know where to go from here, help