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Avatar universal

i slept with my cousin,, now im pregnant

i have fallen for my cousin and he says he feels the same,, it was him initiated it, im 21, he is older,, we have had sex a few times, outside,, before we did we was making out anywhere we could, even in the cafe where he worked, and i reali fell for him,, but the problem is he is married, his wife has cancer,, i feel reali bad but i have fallen for him,, plus i have a boyfriend.
he already has kids, this is my first, the dates work out to be about the time we had sex and i have just told him i think my baby is his,, im terrified, he says he wants me to leave my boyfriend, and get away from my dad,, my boyfriend thinks the baby is his,, i love my boyfriend, but i have fallen hard for my cousin,,, he came to me when i told him i think the baby is his, he cuddled me and said if thats what i reali think i should leave my boyfriend,, and i would for him,,, then we had sex again in his car, im just scared, what if i lose everything,, and what would my family say
when i was young i was sexually abused by a few people, the main 1 been one of my cousins (not the same 1),,
am i falling to hard or does he reali want me aswell,, when he left he promised to message me,,i was worried when he didnt so i messaged him a few times,, i have told him we need to talk properly, i fear i have made a fool of myself as he wont aswer me when i say we need to talk,, im 13-14 weeks pregnant and so confused,, dont know if im just over thinking as i tend to do,, please any advice??
8 Responses
Avatar universal
I think you should stay with your boyfriend, but you might need to let him know it is not his.  He will probably be mad, but if he loves you, he may still stay.  I definitely think you should leave the cousin alone.  He is using you and trying to mess up your life on purpose.
Avatar universal
In the end it is your choice. However if he is not calling you or messaging you really have your answer. In life we do things out of habit. Like in your case being in a relationship with your cousin. Seeing that you were molested by a cousin, You went with what was comfortable to you. Even in the negative idea of the situation, You found normalcy.  Its our fight or flight response that causes us to either fight or go with the  flow. We seeming adjust to uncomfortable situations.  

So, I say all that to say If you truly love your boyfriend don't risk a Great thing for a Good thing. Be open and honest with the one you Love. Acunamatata.!!!!! I will this is understood and helps.
Avatar universal
It’s your cousin. That is your family, that is incest and very wrong in many ways. Maybe you should leave your cousin alone. If the baby is his, it can have medical issues. I would cut off the relationship with your cousin if I were you.
Avatar universal
Id be staying with the boyfriend , if you have to lie and say you had a one night stand at a party when drunk around the same time you and your boyfriend had sex then so be it but unless you want to severely rock the boat with your family and potentially ruin his own family in the process then that's your choice


and more importantly you should never have even entertained the idea of getting romantically involved with family .....EVER  specially since its illegal in most places.
20841821 tn?1547942964
Hello. I am really sorry about the situation you are currently in. I think it would be helpful for you to discuss this in more detail with a professional. You have many issues going on, and it sounds like a complex situation. You are not alone, and help is available. A good place to start would be RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network). You can talk anonymously by calling 1-800-656-4673. They are available 24 hours a day. Their website also offers a webchat. You have a lot on your plate, so I urge you to reach out. I hope you find peace and resolution.
Avatar universal
I think you've really wrong in soo many ways. It's wrong in the first place to have sex  with your cousin not to mention he's married with his wife having cancer. The condition of his wife can't make him have an intimate with her and he's using you to satisfy his lust. That's the whole truth. Please for the sake of his kid and sick wife and dignity of your family. Kindly see someone and confess to them for serious advice. Please try and work on the affection for your cousin.  He's older he knows he's wrong but you don't know.  It's incest . Very great sin. Please I am a counsellor. I know the consequences of these situations after family get to know and after you give birth. For your bright future. See a counsellor.
Avatar universal
I think you should not choose any of them. The father of you baby is your cousin and have his own family already. and then if you choose you bf. do you think it'll be fair for him not knowing it is not his?. Though try to talk to your bf. and if he loves you SO MUCH. i think he can be the father to your baby
Avatar universal
I'm 17 and I had sex with my cousin too so I know what you are going through a little bit. If you love your boyfriend tell him about you and your cousin because that's what I did and even though he was mad he still stayed by my side. And if your cousin is not replying back maybe u need to go see him face to face. Just be honest about it. Don't lie cause it's just gonna get worse.
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