Aa
why cant i stop thinking about getting pregnant?
Im almost 17, And i cant stop thinking about being pregnant... I know this is odd, and im not crazy, its just, okay, Im faithful with my birth control pills, and me and my boyfriend do have sex alot, and im just courious on how im not pregnant? the pills arent 100% it just doesnt make sense, so im worried i may not be fertile, or even him... And this is scary becasue weve been together for 3 years, and we plan to stay together, i do plan on having kids with him... it just worries me... and i cant really go to the doctor, becaus eim to young, i know that, but i have no idea how i cant be? and worrying about that has even wanted me to get pregant, then when i think about it i come back to reality, and know i cant, im not even out of hs yet... does anyone have any advice? to help calm my nerves?
Best Answer
For what it's worth, sometimes fear and desire are pretty closely linked. People can be obsessively fearful of someone dying, for example, and on further examination of the obsession the therapist uncovers that they secretly wish that the person *would* die, which is so awful to their mind that they get obsessive the other direction to cover up their secret hope. Maybe you're going through something like that. You know it would mess up your life to get pregnant, but it's titilating too because it would be such a big deal (in positive and negative ways). Try to keep level-headed. Being a mom is so much easier once you've gotten some basic milestones out of the way, not just graduating from high school but college too, and/or gotten a job with a career path that is satisfactory, and gotten your own place and lived in your own way for a while as an autonomous person (not just an appendage to a boyfriend). Maybe your obsessive interest in pregnancy is a way of reacting to the fact that you're aware that many couples that start when they are 14 don't make it to 24 together, there is too much growth and change in each person in that particular life interval. Maybe you're obsessively shying away from the fear that you and he aren't going to be together forever. Who knows. Anyway, good luck, take your b.c. and try to figure out who you, alone, are. Whether you go on to marry the b.f. or not, there are plenty of moments in a marriage where what counts is who you are alone. Take care, sweetheart.
I agree, also I'm sure you want kids someday, and worrying you're not fertile scares you that you may want kids someday and not be able to. Honestly, I was on B/C for 4 years and never got pregnant, with no other form of B/C and never got pregnant. When my husband and I decided to start trying, I was pregnant within 3 months. Pills are very effective, as they're supposed to be. Make sure you get all of your dreams accomplished first, college if that's what you want, but definitely high school, and all the fun, mistakes, everything you can't do when you have a baby. You'll have the rest of your life to be a mother when it happens for you, and it will someday, good luck hun!
Thank you! Everything you said made perfect sense, ill try to stay busy, focused on school and work, hopefully itll work itself out.
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