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Husband newly diagnosed with Graves.. Help
My husband has been suffering from what I thought was bi polar for years. In the last 6 months he has started shaking, breathing issues, lashing out all day every day and an array of other symptoms. He finally was diagnosed on Wed. With Graves.And started meds on Thursday. He will have to have radiation done on his thyroid. I feel like I am going to lose my mind. In the 16 yrs we have been together, these last few months have been hell. I can't even talk reasonably to him. Cant even have a normal adult conversation before he is blowing up. Someone ease tell me he will get better with the meds. How long until we see some calming?
No don't be sorry for your explaination !! It helped me look at things a different way. Thank you for giving me the guys view, it always helps because we don't think the same way. I know it will get better, just somedays I really feel like it never will. 16 yrs is a long time to be with someone and watch them waste away, which is what was happening until he went to the dr. I'm hoping in the next few weeks he will start to feel a little better and that his additude will recover a bit too.
I'm no expert on hyper. mostly deal with hypo.
But anxiety and hyperactive etc should calm down some with meds to cut his thyroid production.
understand that he very may well go on a roller coaster ride. After the radiation treatment it will "kill" the thyroid. at which point he will no longer have the capacity to produce thyroid hormone meaning that he will have to go on medication to replace thyroid.
What this means is that he could go from the far extreme of having too much thyroid and drop all the way down to having too little and becoming hypo. For some this can be extreme and a really a rocky road. While others with a good Dr and frequent testing after the radiation and getting on medication and increasing the dosage properly can be fairly uneventful.
Just some other thoughts. Has he been tested for testosterone and possibly DHEA? too much of either can cause aggressive behavior as well so maybe you could mention that to the Dr and see if it would make sense to have them tested.
Thyroid issues can have a huge effect on a family and a marriage. It is my wife who primarily has the thyroid issue (hypo) and having fatigue, depressed moods, moody and absolutely zero libido have definate ripple effects through a marriage relationship. The opposite extreme I have no doubt is not any easier.
As a man I would suggest that you love him through this. Don't treat him like a baby by any means as men will almost always view this as condesending. Men tend to be very prideful and think themseleves strong and/or invincible and thus when something like a medical issue comes up that is beyond his control it can make him feel weak. And that will also make him very defensive as every seemingly small thing may seem like an attack on his manhood. I'm not saying that this is right, I'm just saying it is human.
It is important to know that one of the ONLY people a man will show any weakness at all to ever is his wife. When he does this a wife has to fully understand the immense power she has at that moment. If not dealt with carefully he may never let his guard down again making a man emotionally cold.
You see men are like an Army M-1 tank. Extremely hardened on the outside and strong. But extremely delicate on the inside. And just like the Army, which will NOT let just "anyone" into the insides fo the tank due to the secrets inside and the fragile computers etc. A man too is extremely careful and guarded about who he lets inside. And it is VERY few people, one of whom if not the only person he will let inside is his wife.
Sorry for this sappy explaination but it seems like you are just about at the end of your rope and I don't want you to inadvertantly squash him.
But anxiety and hyperactive etc should calm down some with meds to cut his thyroid production.
understand that he very may well go on a roller coaster ride. After the radiation treatment it will "kill" the thyroid. at which point he will no longer have the capacity to produce thyroid hormone meaning that he will have to go on medication to replace thyroid.
What this means is that he could go from the far extreme of having too much thyroid and drop all the way down to having too little and becoming hypo. For some this can be extreme and a really a rocky road. While others with a good Dr and frequent testing after the radiation and getting on medication and increasing the dosage properly can be fairly uneventful.
Just some other thoughts. Has he been tested for testosterone and possibly DHEA? too much of either can cause aggressive behavior as well so maybe you could mention that to the Dr and see if it would make sense to have them tested.
Thyroid issues can have a huge effect on a family and a marriage. It is my wife who primarily has the thyroid issue (hypo) and having fatigue, depressed moods, moody and absolutely zero libido have definate ripple effects through a marriage relationship. The opposite extreme I have no doubt is not any easier.
As a man I would suggest that you love him through this. Don't treat him like a baby by any means as men will almost always view this as condesending. Men tend to be very prideful and think themseleves strong and/or invincible and thus when something like a medical issue comes up that is beyond his control it can make him feel weak. And that will also make him very defensive as every seemingly small thing may seem like an attack on his manhood. I'm not saying that this is right, I'm just saying it is human.
It is important to know that one of the ONLY people a man will show any weakness at all to ever is his wife. When he does this a wife has to fully understand the immense power she has at that moment. If not dealt with carefully he may never let his guard down again making a man emotionally cold.
You see men are like an Army M-1 tank. Extremely hardened on the outside and strong. But extremely delicate on the inside. And just like the Army, which will NOT let just "anyone" into the insides fo the tank due to the secrets inside and the fragile computers etc. A man too is extremely careful and guarded about who he lets inside. And it is VERY few people, one of whom if not the only person he will let inside is his wife.
Sorry for this sappy explaination but it seems like you are just about at the end of your rope and I don't want you to inadvertantly squash him.
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