Aa
help for me and my hashi spouse
Hi
My wife was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's and started taking medication. While I'm no perfect person or parent, and I've been trying to be encouraging now that she's finally been diagnosed (not her fault; her old family physician never tested for it), the abuse that I take and my four year old son are taking is just unbearable. There were some moments when she became a little nicer recently, but she grabs my sons ear and has hit him at least 6 times since he was three. Once she screamed that "he should apologize to me" after she hit him. She screams at my son all the time, and my son has more and more behavior issues at pre-K. My psyche is squashed flat, and the only reason I stick around is to protect my son and pay the rent. I'm trying to be respectful of people struggling with a disease, but sheer violence of the consequences that thyroid issues seem to inflict on family members is just unbearable.
What can spouses do to protect themselves from people with thyroid disease? Even if you're sick you're responsible for your hands and your words under the law.
My wife was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's and started taking medication. While I'm no perfect person or parent, and I've been trying to be encouraging now that she's finally been diagnosed (not her fault; her old family physician never tested for it), the abuse that I take and my four year old son are taking is just unbearable. There were some moments when she became a little nicer recently, but she grabs my sons ear and has hit him at least 6 times since he was three. Once she screamed that "he should apologize to me" after she hit him. She screams at my son all the time, and my son has more and more behavior issues at pre-K. My psyche is squashed flat, and the only reason I stick around is to protect my son and pay the rent. I'm trying to be respectful of people struggling with a disease, but sheer violence of the consequences that thyroid issues seem to inflict on family members is just unbearable.
What can spouses do to protect themselves from people with thyroid disease? Even if you're sick you're responsible for your hands and your words under the law.
My husband was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 3 years ago. We have been married for 16 years and have 5 children. He also had a horrendous upbringing and we believe his mother (now deceased) also had hypothyroidism. Many of the same struggles you have, I am dealing with. He screams at me all the time...I'm always stepping on land mines. Nothing I do is right...he has to control it all. He wakes in the middle of the night with night terrors and has also been verbally and physically abusive to the kids and I. Time and again throughout our whole married life I have desired to put my running shoes on to get away. But the word of God compels me to love Him even though He despitefully uses me. To little by little help him to understand this is not normal or healthy. Only 2 weeks ago has he come out of a sort of denial phase. And God has brought about a wonderful organization called "Internal Balance" She looks at a person's DNA helping them physically, spiritually and emotionally. My hope is for her to help us as a whole family through this difficult trial. I am to a point where I also just want to know how best to support the Man I fell in love with and Married 16 years ago, how to help my children 3 boys and 2 girls so they don't come away traumatized and illness is helped should they have the same hereditary disease and also help for myself. This is so hard .... I pray for answers for you. God promises that if we ask Him He will give us wisdom to handle. That our homes would once again be a place of peace, joy and sanctuary.
My husband was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 3 years ago. We have been married for 16 years and have 5 children. He also had a horrendous upbringing and we believe his mother (now deceased) also had hypothyroidism. Many of the same struggles you have, I am dealing with. He screams at me all the time...I'm always stepping on land mines. Nothing I do is right...he has to control it all. He wakes in the middle of the night with night terrors and has also been verbally and physically abusive to the kids and I. Time and again throughout our whole married life I have desired to put my running shoes on to get away. But the word of God compels me to love Him even though He despitefully uses me. To little by little help him to understand this is not normal or healthy. Only 2 weeks ago has he come out of a sort of denial phase. And God has brought about a wonderful organization called "Internal Balance" She looks at a person's DNA helping them physically, spiritually and emotionally. My hope is for her to help us as a whole family through this difficult trial. I am to a point where I also just want to know how best to support the Man I fell in love with and Married 16 years ago, how to help my children 3 boys and 2 girls so they don't come away traumatized and illness is helped should they have the same hereditary disease and also help for myself. This is so hard .... I pray for answers for you. God promises that if we ask Him He will give us wisdom to handle. That our homes would once again be a place of peace, joy and sanctuary.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It's all anonymous because we have no idea who you really are. If you look at my profile, you'll find that my name is Barb, I'm a 64 yr old female and live in FL... If I look at your profile, I can see that you're a 38 yr old male and live in NJ; we can't know anything more about you than you choose to tell us. MH does not give out any personal information... trust me... NEVER
Since we don't know who you are, we can't possibly know who your wife is. I post my labs on labs on here quite often. What can anybody do with them?
Here's a thread in which someone listed labs... I "know" this person, because I've been talking to her, just like I "know" you, because I've been talking to you, but that's as far as it goes.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/Thyroflex-testing-and-TSH/show/2016175
The most useful format for results is like this, with x's indicating numbers; the numbers in parenthesis would be the reference ranges:
TSH = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Free T3 = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Free T4 = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Same format for any other results... Maybe she was tested for thyroid antibodies, vitamin B12, vitamin D or other things... these are all relevant, too, by the way, because many people with thyroid conditions are deficient in some vitamins/minerals and some deficiencies can cause thyroid like symptoms.
Since we don't know who you are, we can't possibly know who your wife is. I post my labs on labs on here quite often. What can anybody do with them?
Here's a thread in which someone listed labs... I "know" this person, because I've been talking to her, just like I "know" you, because I've been talking to you, but that's as far as it goes.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/Thyroflex-testing-and-TSH/show/2016175
The most useful format for results is like this, with x's indicating numbers; the numbers in parenthesis would be the reference ranges:
TSH = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Free T3 = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Free T4 = x.xx (x.xx - x.xx)
Same format for any other results... Maybe she was tested for thyroid antibodies, vitamin B12, vitamin D or other things... these are all relevant, too, by the way, because many people with thyroid conditions are deficient in some vitamins/minerals and some deficiencies can cause thyroid like symptoms.
My heart goes out to you and the children, and this is coming from a hypothyroid wife and mother of two grown sons. I'm relatively new to this forum and not in a position to give you advice but there are those here who are very, very knowledgeable. If you look at my posts, you'll see my bloodwork numbers posted and even though they are my 'private numbers' I still feel this is an anonymous forum. In other words, you don't know who I am since we don't use our real names.
I post my most recent lab results giving both the number the lab has given me for TSH, T3, T4 etc. and also include the reference range the lab uses which should be listed on the paperwork. It really does help to have other forum members look at the results and give you an idea of what kind of treatment (or lack thereof) your wife is receiving.
Now as to the abusive outbursts; I have been a thyroid patient since the age of 32, a long, long 22 years, but suspect it was a problem for most of my adult life. I had problems with rage at times also, but as others have stated, this isn't necessarily just a thyroid thing. I was also raised in a very abusive home by a father who sounds so much like your wife; very unpredictable, violent, emotionally abusive and dangerous. And you have had much of the same sort of treatment in your childhood, too. I was afraid to become a parent because I did not want to inflict the same abuse on my children. We have to break the cycle somewhere, and I can tell you care and you want what is best for the little ones.
Your wife does not sound well. Whether that is due to the thyroid issue or another mental illness is uncertain, but you have to do what is in the children and your best interests. Children learn what they live. I know I don't have to tell you that. You are a survivor.
Many times I thought my father was an alcoholic and either bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic and who knows what else, but in the end it didn't really matter, he was ill. And he shouldn't have been around children. My mother stayed with him because she had no place to go either, and since we were on a farm we were isolated. This was fifty years ago, but sadly, the stories remain the same.
Whenever I've talked about the abuse in my past, people have always asked, "Why didn't he get help?" Ah, sorry, but if you've ever dealt with a truly abusive person, you wouldn't need to ask that question. If as a child, I would have stood up to my father and told him he needed to get help, I would probably not be alive right now. Nothing could have been seen as more of an insult to him. 'Oh, you think I'm sick, do you?' And things would have gone from bad to worse.
So what happened to me back in those years was, I suspect, the same thing that happened to you as a child, you survived the abuse, developed coping skills that kept you alive, and tried to muddle through the rest of your life never completely knowing what 'normal' is.
And I think being a man makes this all the more difficult for you. Not to be sexist, but a man rarely has the courage to reach out for help with a problem like this lest he be seen as weak. And you are clearly not weak, since you are not just looking the other way and washing your hands of the effect the abuse is having on your innocent children. They do not deserve the abuse. You do not deserve the abuse. Being a thyroid patient or bipolar person does not give your wife the right to be abusive.
I know I don't have any answers for you, but you do have to follow your heart on this matter. I don't mean to add more misery to your burden, but I do know where you are coming from. I found help at Al-Anon meetings and also Adult Children of Alcoholics. Even if your wife doesn't drink, there is still help to be found in these groups which are free, anonymous and incredibly effective for people in dysfunctional relationships. LIfe doesn't have to be this way. Do it for yourself and especially, for the children.
I post my most recent lab results giving both the number the lab has given me for TSH, T3, T4 etc. and also include the reference range the lab uses which should be listed on the paperwork. It really does help to have other forum members look at the results and give you an idea of what kind of treatment (or lack thereof) your wife is receiving.
Now as to the abusive outbursts; I have been a thyroid patient since the age of 32, a long, long 22 years, but suspect it was a problem for most of my adult life. I had problems with rage at times also, but as others have stated, this isn't necessarily just a thyroid thing. I was also raised in a very abusive home by a father who sounds so much like your wife; very unpredictable, violent, emotionally abusive and dangerous. And you have had much of the same sort of treatment in your childhood, too. I was afraid to become a parent because I did not want to inflict the same abuse on my children. We have to break the cycle somewhere, and I can tell you care and you want what is best for the little ones.
Your wife does not sound well. Whether that is due to the thyroid issue or another mental illness is uncertain, but you have to do what is in the children and your best interests. Children learn what they live. I know I don't have to tell you that. You are a survivor.
Many times I thought my father was an alcoholic and either bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic and who knows what else, but in the end it didn't really matter, he was ill. And he shouldn't have been around children. My mother stayed with him because she had no place to go either, and since we were on a farm we were isolated. This was fifty years ago, but sadly, the stories remain the same.
Whenever I've talked about the abuse in my past, people have always asked, "Why didn't he get help?" Ah, sorry, but if you've ever dealt with a truly abusive person, you wouldn't need to ask that question. If as a child, I would have stood up to my father and told him he needed to get help, I would probably not be alive right now. Nothing could have been seen as more of an insult to him. 'Oh, you think I'm sick, do you?' And things would have gone from bad to worse.
So what happened to me back in those years was, I suspect, the same thing that happened to you as a child, you survived the abuse, developed coping skills that kept you alive, and tried to muddle through the rest of your life never completely knowing what 'normal' is.
And I think being a man makes this all the more difficult for you. Not to be sexist, but a man rarely has the courage to reach out for help with a problem like this lest he be seen as weak. And you are clearly not weak, since you are not just looking the other way and washing your hands of the effect the abuse is having on your innocent children. They do not deserve the abuse. You do not deserve the abuse. Being a thyroid patient or bipolar person does not give your wife the right to be abusive.
I know I don't have any answers for you, but you do have to follow your heart on this matter. I don't mean to add more misery to your burden, but I do know where you are coming from. I found help at Al-Anon meetings and also Adult Children of Alcoholics. Even if your wife doesn't drink, there is still help to be found in these groups which are free, anonymous and incredibly effective for people in dysfunctional relationships. LIfe doesn't have to be this way. Do it for yourself and especially, for the children.
Thanks. But if I post someone's bloodwork to a forum like this, how do I do that and maintain their privacy? Can you point me to another example in this forum of someone posting bloodwork in the format that's useful, yet somewhat anonymous?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Of course, nobody wants to see a family torn apart, but neither would we want to see another generation of children raised in abusive conditions.
Have you considered that she might have a psychological disorder? There are several, including Bi-Polar, Personality Disorder, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder that cause mood changes, like you describe. There are other causes, as well, including a variety of hormone imbalances, brain tumors and other head injuries.
If she will cooperate, it might be worthwhile to get her completely checked out.
It would sure be helpful, if you could get the results of her thyroid blood work, with the reference ranges. That would tell us whether or not her hypothyroidism is coming into play more than we think.
Have you considered that she might have a psychological disorder? There are several, including Bi-Polar, Personality Disorder, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder that cause mood changes, like you describe. There are other causes, as well, including a variety of hormone imbalances, brain tumors and other head injuries.
If she will cooperate, it might be worthwhile to get her completely checked out.
It would sure be helpful, if you could get the results of her thyroid blood work, with the reference ranges. That would tell us whether or not her hypothyroidism is coming into play more than we think.
Thanks, all
Nobody, least of all me, wants to see a family torn apart. What's particularly awful is, and perhaps you all can enlighten me, is how the moods come on. Not to be callous, but it's like being around a drunk. Love you, hug the kids, warm and fuzzy and as wonderful a mother as ever and then "snap!!!": outburst of fear, verbal rage, crying for (comparatively trivial or no) reason. paranoia about crazy stuff, and a handful of times, hitting me or the kids.
Nobody, least of all me, wants to see a family torn apart. What's particularly awful is, and perhaps you all can enlighten me, is how the moods come on. Not to be callous, but it's like being around a drunk. Love you, hug the kids, warm and fuzzy and as wonderful a mother as ever and then "snap!!!": outburst of fear, verbal rage, crying for (comparatively trivial or no) reason. paranoia about crazy stuff, and a handful of times, hitting me or the kids.
I just recently read an article that a deficiency in Niacin can cause violent behavior.
Just reporting what I read. may be worth checking out and would be an easy solution if that is the case or at least a contributing factor!
While my wife when Hypo gets grouchy and generally can be a pain. (but that is not the sole domain of hypo land either. I'm sure I get groucy and a pain too and I'm not Hypo) She does not get abusive. Maybe not nice and times when you might not want to be around her for awhile kind of thing. But not abusive.
A person has to WANT to get well in order to even have a chance to get well. To at least take the steps towards getting well such as taking medication.
Just reporting what I read. may be worth checking out and would be an easy solution if that is the case or at least a contributing factor!
While my wife when Hypo gets grouchy and generally can be a pain. (but that is not the sole domain of hypo land either. I'm sure I get groucy and a pain too and I'm not Hypo) She does not get abusive. Maybe not nice and times when you might not want to be around her for awhile kind of thing. But not abusive.
A person has to WANT to get well in order to even have a chance to get well. To at least take the steps towards getting well such as taking medication.
COMMUNITY LEADER
At the risk of turning this into whether or not you should stay with your wife, I have to say, that I, too, am very old fashioned and the 46 yrs my husband and I have been together would attest to the fact that I believe in "till death do us part"... that said, I do not believe in it, to the extent that one person suffers at the hands of another, or that children are abused. As their father, you have the responsibility to remove them from harm's way, whatever that harm might be.
She's a grown woman and if she chooses to stop taking her med, that's her option. Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom, before they can pull themselves up and move on.
Somehow, I'm getting the feeling that this woman doesn't want "me time"; she's simply abusive. While I can understand that she might have learned this in her childhood, I can't condone the fact that she perpetuates it. I came from one of the most dysfunctional families you could imagine, but I would never treat people that way... I went overboard to make sure I didn't treat my children the way I was treated..
She's a grown woman and if she chooses to stop taking her med, that's her option. Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom, before they can pull themselves up and move on.
Somehow, I'm getting the feeling that this woman doesn't want "me time"; she's simply abusive. While I can understand that she might have learned this in her childhood, I can't condone the fact that she perpetuates it. I came from one of the most dysfunctional families you could imagine, but I would never treat people that way... I went overboard to make sure I didn't treat my children the way I was treated..
I'm with Barb in saying that its possible that the bulk of this personality disorder rests on how your wife was brought up. This means that you're own children are at risk for turning into their mother with the way things are going, even if she's nicer to your daughter.
But I'm also stubborn and old fashion. "In sickness and in health." A promise is a promise. That's why, while you should keep you and your children's best interests in mind, I think you should still stick it out. Let her know that you care about her and her health, and as such, would like to know her progress. Her thyroid condition may not entirely be to blame, but she may behave a little better if she's in good health. She may act like she would rather you all be gone, but I'm fairly certain that if you did, if insurance weren't a problem, she'd stop taking her meds. If she doesn't get arrested due to her behavior, she'll just eventually lose her job and her house, and not care because, yeah. It's a dark place to go, that's why I take mine. There's a lot more that goes on psychologically rather than just physical health.
I still believe that "me time" may do wonders. Does your wife have any friends? Is there a way that she could go to the mall or a movie with them? Away from you and the kids? My mother would go on vacation with her friends. Not sure if that's an option for you guys though.
Also, she doesn't need friends to have fun. She can still do all these activities by herself. Or, you could take the kids to a movie while she rests at home. That's probably the better choice. An hour or two at a park or playground. That's free. Not sure what the weather is like, but another option is having her walk around the neighborhood. She gets a little exercise, a little vitamin D, and she's by herself.
But I'm also stubborn and old fashion. "In sickness and in health." A promise is a promise. That's why, while you should keep you and your children's best interests in mind, I think you should still stick it out. Let her know that you care about her and her health, and as such, would like to know her progress. Her thyroid condition may not entirely be to blame, but she may behave a little better if she's in good health. She may act like she would rather you all be gone, but I'm fairly certain that if you did, if insurance weren't a problem, she'd stop taking her meds. If she doesn't get arrested due to her behavior, she'll just eventually lose her job and her house, and not care because, yeah. It's a dark place to go, that's why I take mine. There's a lot more that goes on psychologically rather than just physical health.
I still believe that "me time" may do wonders. Does your wife have any friends? Is there a way that she could go to the mall or a movie with them? Away from you and the kids? My mother would go on vacation with her friends. Not sure if that's an option for you guys though.
Also, she doesn't need friends to have fun. She can still do all these activities by herself. Or, you could take the kids to a movie while she rests at home. That's probably the better choice. An hour or two at a park or playground. That's free. Not sure what the weather is like, but another option is having her walk around the neighborhood. She gets a little exercise, a little vitamin D, and she's by herself.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I agree that the majority of thyroid sufferers are not like your wife. If that's what she's telling you, she's merely using it as an excuse.
Hyperthyroidism is a bit different from hypo, and does truly have more personality changing characteristics. Your wife is exhibiting behavior that she was exposed to, as a child.
I didn't really think you'd want to have a date night, but that goes right along with making sure your wife has "me" time, so thought I'd throw it in there.
Of course, I can't tell you what to do either, but I agree with Stuffie that sometimes, we just have to take the bull by the horns and do what we have to do... While it might seem impossible for you to raise 2 small children, with no living family to help you, it's not. I assume that they are in daycare, etc, so that wouldn't change.
My mother always said "it's best to raise kids with one happy parent, than 2 parents that are unhappy and fighting all the time"...
Hyperthyroidism is a bit different from hypo, and does truly have more personality changing characteristics. Your wife is exhibiting behavior that she was exposed to, as a child.
I didn't really think you'd want to have a date night, but that goes right along with making sure your wife has "me" time, so thought I'd throw it in there.
Of course, I can't tell you what to do either, but I agree with Stuffie that sometimes, we just have to take the bull by the horns and do what we have to do... While it might seem impossible for you to raise 2 small children, with no living family to help you, it's not. I assume that they are in daycare, etc, so that wouldn't change.
My mother always said "it's best to raise kids with one happy parent, than 2 parents that are unhappy and fighting all the time"...
As a "thyroid sufferer" I still have to completely agree with Barb, we are not like that. To add some light to the subject I think we were to tired to even gripe!
At some point in most of our lives some of us have to walk away from what seems like impossible. I am not telling you that is what you have to do since I am just a stranger on the internet.
It is a hard decision to give up everything we worked for and try to make ends meet with what we have at that time. Support or no support.
BTW After I return from the bus stop the house is always messy! Number one priority is getting my daughter ready and off to school happy.
Do what is best for you and the kids and pick up the pieces later.
The situation sounds horrible.
At some point in most of our lives some of us have to walk away from what seems like impossible. I am not telling you that is what you have to do since I am just a stranger on the internet.
It is a hard decision to give up everything we worked for and try to make ends meet with what we have at that time. Support or no support.
BTW After I return from the bus stop the house is always messy! Number one priority is getting my daughter ready and off to school happy.
Do what is best for you and the kids and pick up the pieces later.
The situation sounds horrible.
Just got a snippy text message about leaving the house dirty when taking the kids to school. After I got two little kids to school fed, laughing and happy and they both had good days after the oldest had a crappy monday after a weekend of withering critique and being screamed at. I don't want to have a date night with this woman; I need time to get out of house so I can sweat out the pain from being around her. It's sad but she's the last person in the world I want to spend time with - all I hear is screaming and whining; I just want to make sure she's going to be stable enough to be near my kids. The kicker is that my wife's mother is hyperthyroid, as well as the grandmother - a nasty piece of work who was abusive to to my wife's mother and siblings. There's a lineage of thyroid issues as well as hostages/casualties. Then, a few years ago my wife finds out that her dad had an illegitimate child - sad, but I can't blame my father in law - a nice, responsible guy - knowing what it's like to be around a histrionic, nagging, controlling, screaming thyroid sufferer. I have started to struggle in my own life as the caustic effects of being around this disease just keeps eating away at every part of me. But what can you do? You have to protect and feed children. I don't have enough resources to raise two kids on my own, and I have no living family to lean on.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You might also want to think about getting a babysitter now and then in order for you and your wife to have "couple's time"; that was always more important to me, than having "me" time. It's not easy having 2 small children and relationships sometimes get lost in the shuffle. Try a "date night".
"And it's a vicious cycle at this point because my son's not an easy kid - a good kid but not an easy kid - and then the rage from my wife just gets worse, and then my son goes and hits a kid at school or regresses in potty training." Keep in mind that this is what he's learning from the way he's being treated. When someone hits him or pulls his ear, he thinks that's acceptable behavior and will do it to others.
You might try to explain that to your wife. I used to find that when I got overly frustrated with my son (he wasn't easy, either), it was best to leave the room if possible. I didn't have to leave the house or anything; just had to go into another room long enough to calm down. My kids are grown now, with kids of their own and I still walk away whenever I need to.
Does your wife have something against men/males?
"And it's a vicious cycle at this point because my son's not an easy kid - a good kid but not an easy kid - and then the rage from my wife just gets worse, and then my son goes and hits a kid at school or regresses in potty training." Keep in mind that this is what he's learning from the way he's being treated. When someone hits him or pulls his ear, he thinks that's acceptable behavior and will do it to others.
You might try to explain that to your wife. I used to find that when I got overly frustrated with my son (he wasn't easy, either), it was best to leave the room if possible. I didn't have to leave the house or anything; just had to go into another room long enough to calm down. My kids are grown now, with kids of their own and I still walk away whenever I need to.
Does your wife have something against men/males?
Thanks. That's the tough part. Being at home with kids isn't easy, but there's a hair-trigger rage there that keeps exploding in our house: at my son and at me. Our daughter, age 2, seems to be exempt. My wife did get a job - right when the medicine seemed to be working - and does go get to be an adult, but neither of us have"me" time. And it's a vicious cycle at this point because my son's not an easy kid - a good kid but not an easy kid - and then the rage from my wife just gets worse, and then my son goes and hits a kid at school or regresses in potty training. I bring the kids to school. I'm taking over this weekend and gently asking her to go do something on her own.
I guess the best way to put it is that her thyroid condition may be an explanation, but it is not an excuse. She needs your support, but you and your son also need to be safe. How much time does she have to herself? I know that I get really irritated when all I want is to be left alone. That doesn't mean that I want a divorce and my child taken away from me. It means that I just want some private time to myself where I can just lay in bed and not have to deal with anyone. Does she have this time? Try to give her this. It might help.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't know the timeline between when your children were born and when your wife was diagnosed, but it sounds like both children were born prior to her diagnosis; if this has gotten progressively worse since the children were born, perhaps her "aggressiveness" has more to do with them, than the thyroid issue?
Please understand that I'm not saying the thyroid issue has nothing to do with it, because it could be a contributing factor; however, your wife's illness does not negate her responsibility to the children, nor does it give her the right to be abusive.
Can you call the doctor's office and ask for the results? Or maybe if you talk to your wife, she would tell you what they are? Without knowing what tests were done and where her results fall, we really can't be any help in regards to the thyroid issue.
I strongly recommend that you encourage your wife to seek psychological help with this.
Please understand that I'm not saying the thyroid issue has nothing to do with it, because it could be a contributing factor; however, your wife's illness does not negate her responsibility to the children, nor does it give her the right to be abusive.
Can you call the doctor's office and ask for the results? Or maybe if you talk to your wife, she would tell you what they are? Without knowing what tests were done and where her results fall, we really can't be any help in regards to the thyroid issue.
I strongly recommend that you encourage your wife to seek psychological help with this.
Thanks. I don't know if I can get them as her doctor interpreted them over the phone. From what i hear about her physician, the doctor seems to be very in favor of looking at multiple variables/levels and not just the traditional indicators for thyroid disease. Just to add context here, my wife is an ex-athlete and physically formidable. I could defend myself if it ever got to that but I hate fighting and as luck would have it, I was raised by a mentally ill parent and loathe fighting in the home. My wife was always spirited but this has gotten progressively worse since our two children were born.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Get the actual numbers and reference ranges and post them here, so we can see what her doctor is actually ordering for blood work..
COMMUNITY LEADER
Keep in mind that not all bi-polars need thyroid med... I have an SIL that has no thyroid issue (yep, tested and tested some more), but is bi-polar...there truly are mental issues that don't include thyroid.
No matter what the disease or the symptoms, child and/or spousal abuse are never acceptable. While some of us "aren't nice" when hypo, hopefully, we don't all abuse our children or cause our spouse to only stay with us because of the kids... When I was at my worst hypo, I had my infant grandson nearly every weekend, plus I was dealing with an elderly aunt... never once abused either of them, or my husband.
No matter what the disease or the symptoms, child and/or spousal abuse are never acceptable. While some of us "aren't nice" when hypo, hopefully, we don't all abuse our children or cause our spouse to only stay with us because of the kids... When I was at my worst hypo, I had my infant grandson nearly every weekend, plus I was dealing with an elderly aunt... never once abused either of them, or my husband.
Thanks all. She started on levothyroxine but was switched back to the branded version - synthroid? - as the generic made her feel worse initially. The first month was somewhat hopeful as ahe lost weight and started feeling betterl but then she was off the meds for a four days between refills.. Then it got abusive here again. She says she gained weight the first thing when I see her in the morning.
In a clearer moment she told me that as of a recent blood test her numbers were improving, per her doctor. But this is hell.
In a clearer moment she told me that as of a recent blood test her numbers were improving, per her doctor. But this is hell.
Thank you! The bipolar article was right on top. It wasn't the one I read, but same principal.
I liked that it stated in reference to treatment of bipolar disorder: 'Most doctors will not raise this option of adding thyroid unless you are clearly already low. It certainly isn't the first thing to try for depression.'
That is exactly what I was trying to say. Like throwing a synthetic pill at everything should "fix" you.
Thanks!
I liked that it stated in reference to treatment of bipolar disorder: 'Most doctors will not raise this option of adding thyroid unless you are clearly already low. It certainly isn't the first thing to try for depression.'
That is exactly what I was trying to say. Like throwing a synthetic pill at everything should "fix" you.
Thanks!
"I should try to find the study I read while back of trying thyroid medication with bipolar and schizophrenia or schizoaffective."
I had it bookmarked. Not sure if this was the same study or not. You might have to dig around though for actual case study links
http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/introduction.htm
I had it bookmarked. Not sure if this was the same study or not. You might have to dig around though for actual case study links
http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/introduction.htm
After reading my post I feel that I do need to add that the safety and well-being of your son is truly important.
I hope she realizes that actions against him will be with him forever. "I am sorry", doesn't take away the memory of that bad moment. It stays with you-or least the feeling does.
Please take care! (((HUGS)))
I hope she realizes that actions against him will be with him forever. "I am sorry", doesn't take away the memory of that bad moment. It stays with you-or least the feeling does.
Please take care! (((HUGS)))
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