my wife wanted to leave me 3 weeks ago and was today told she has hyperthyroidism

[spencerz26]

my wife has slowly become completely emotionally distanced from me for the last couple months and it the last 3 weeks told me first that she didnt love me any more, then she wanted to work on it, then she just said she just said that so i didnt feel bad and she didnt want to be with me anymore and had no desire to work on it then we had a couple good days that we got along ok but then i noticed she wasnt wearing her wedding ring so i questioned her about it and it came out that she likes someone else she has now been texting back and forth with this guy for a week(she just said likes and that she didnt tell him how she felt).  i insisted that she go see a doctor because i thought there had to be some kind of hormone problem or something because we have a 9mo. old baby and she is still breastfeeding,  they did a blood test and found that she has an overactive thyroid today.  i am prepared to do whatever it takes to make this work i love her more than life its self. ( aside form my children of course).  the thing that concerns me is that she only seems to be detatching from me is that normal for this disease i NEED to know if its the disease or if she really doesnt love me if she is supposed to be emotionally unavailable shouldnt it be with everyone or not this thing about this other guy is killing me and i need to know if this is characteristic of the disease or not.  just at a total loss and dont know what to do or what steps to take to deal with this. please help???    :-(

[a584393]

Has she been experiencing or tested for depression too? The beginning stages of a thyroid disorder are the most confusing and yes it can mess with the chemical balence in your brain, it's hard to say at this point if it's the disorder talking or your wife. My thyroid levels have been stable for a few years and I was diagnosed when young so I can't really recall what it was like for me. I know now that I'm pregnant my levels are all crazy again, and depression has been a serious thing for me. I work crazy hours too so I have less of a social life, all this has been weighing me down. I know I take it out on my boyfriend more than I should but he really is oblivious to thyroid problems. When I'm overly tired it's because either I'm pregnant or just pretending, he thinks I over react when I say I'm cold and he's not...he just won't take the time to understand the symptoms of this problem. Do your wife a favor and learn all you can, with her, about this disorder. Understanding what she's going through will give you a better connection.

[spencerz26]

never take the things in life you love for granted because they might be ripped away at any time!!!

[yankeeRN]

Speaking from personal experience with hyperthyroidism I can say that most people with this can be irritable--I know I was--I could feel it and it was unlike me to be that way..it can be a vicious cycle...you are short with someone and then you feel bad and repeat the cycle...may people pissed me off....I had to bite my tongue at work but at home I vented...now that my thyroid levels are within the normal range I can see the difference but before I couldn't...not sure if that helps you.  I am sure that it must be frustrating on many levels for this to be happening to you and your wife with her distancing....I didn't distance my husband but I was very vocal about any annoyances where as before I just blew it off. One thing that you might be able to do is help around the house if you don't already ( laundry, picking up the house or at least not contributing to the clutter, get up at night with the baby)..this will show her that you care...do nice things but don't expect anything in return. Give her a bit of time. Buy her flowers....they don't have to be expensive especially if you can't afford it....many times at the grocery store they sell fresh flowers and you could pick up an inexpensive vase at a department store. Write her a letter of how you feel..pour your heart out..she will read this over  again and again and it will be a reminder to her of how you feel..let her think about things.  Show her that you love her by doing nice things like you said ...it will be difficult for you not getting to have her close or touch her but you need to tear that wall she has built up and remember she is not really thinking as clearly as she normally would be because of this hyperthyroidism.  y doctor said that some people even think they are going  crazy with the hyperthyroidism because they can be so shaky, have a lot of nervous energy, be going 90 miles per hour, are forgetful, etc   Best of luck...I looked at your family pic in the post and it's a beautiful family pic:)

[Barb135]

I agree with goolarra that thyroid dysfunction can affect every part of the body and your wife is not herself right now.  It sounds like she may be as uncertain about things as you are.  

I think trying to "be yourself" is best, right now, which. I know isn't easy, but she still needs to know you love her and are there for her.  Don't forget you have children to think about, also and it's necessary to keep their lives as stable as possible.

Has the doctor ordered more tests yet, or given an indication of possible treatment?  

[spencerz26]

should i try to do nice things for her? even if she seems to not care or acts like she doesnt want me to?  i dont know how to act around her she doesnt want me to touch her at all not even put my arm around her.  if i tell her i love her she is just silent or gets mad at me, do i keep being presistant or do i give her the space she wants its so hard to be like this because we used to be sooo close she was almost too clingy but now i miss it more than anything and she wants nothing to do with me.   any tips on how to deal with this or keep her from leaving?

[spencerz26]

thanks for the advise any reasurance is extremely helpful i just hope the doc can do something before that happens