What should I do regarding my mental health? Am I "normal""

[annaghostt]

Hey! I'm Anna. I'm nonbinary [biologically female] and fifteen years old. I'm on no medication nor do I have any medical problems. I have came here because my friends said my behavior patterns are quite off and needs to get checked. They make jokes about it but it's just jokes.  ______________________ Onto what's happening: I have an habit of sucking on my lower lip, Sucking in my tongue, cracking my knuckles, and rocking back and forth/Side to side. This occurs multiple times a day and my friend says it might be Autism but I won't believe her because their a bit. . . Weird and their not a doctor so. . .   This [habit] only happens when I'm: Stressed, tired, filled with anxiety [Often when I have to speak to people or separated from my mom for a long periods of time], when I wake up, and when I put myself to sleep [it helps me relax in all situations.]. All of these are common and happens at the same time. I don't prefer one over the other and some said: "Anna, you okay?", or "Stop doing that. You look crazy.", or "What's wrong with you?" But sometimes there will be nothing wrong. I just do it to help me calm down.  I also have very bad nerves and is prone to twitching a lot. Mostly in my hands, forearms, head, or eyelids. It hasn't happened in a while but I do get those moments where holding a cup becomes complicated because I'm shaking so bad. It can be very embarrassing and people often make fun of me, but that's okay because I know it's going to pass and won't come back for a while! Even as I write this; I rock my legs, suck on my tongue, and crack on knuckle then the rest.   I also happen to be very bad with people, I'm homeschooled now because it's my choice. When I was public schooled I use to be filled with anxiety talking to new people. Once I was in a group project and got so nauseous I had to go home. So now, I've taken to learn ASL and it's really easy and helpful for now! I know how to form basic sentences and how to sign my name. I know the whole ASL alphabet, how to count to 10, how to ask for help. But I hate crowded places, it's so overwhelming. Everyones theres and shooting and talking. I like quiet places like the library. Sometimes when it's too loud I try to put myself to sleep.   Once I was in a movie theater watching Batman VS Superman and everyone was so quiet then it got loud, so I just laid back. Closed my eyes, sucked on my lip switching to my tongue sometimes, and bouncing my leg. I fell asleep for a while before everyone erupted in "Ah"s.

On the "anxiety" note, I hate everything about social interactionsbut I still want to make friends like everyone else. I hate it when I feel nauseous or when they ask me: "...what are you? Like retarded?" I get that a lot or well I use too before I started acting like them. But doing that is tiring, people are tiring. I just want to stick to learning ASL and work by myself all the time. But my momma says I can't do that and I have to talk to people instead of being shy.

I do have a very hyper imagination that I'm proud of but no one else my age can seem to share. I like making up worlds and using characters from my favorite things and putting us in scenarios. Like: going to the fair, skateboarding, things like that... but no one does that anymore at my age.

[Imonyourskinitsme]

You sound to me to be an exceptional person (like Mozart, Jim Carrey) who needs to realize a way to live amongst ordinary people (eg. mindless, insensitive followers of our barbarian system).
To cut it short, maybe isolate yourself/focus into whatever you love. Art, music, science, philosophy, yacht design, motor racing...whatever. If you try to be ordinary you'll possibly struggle forever. You will probably not be accepted.
I'm a little like you maybe, can't relate to people. I'm working alone for years on my theory of sub-quantum reality, and a more complete understanding of the universe.
I'm always attacked by people, often viciously, for no good reason.
Anyway, are you intelligent (yes), use it to your advantage. Don't follow the retards, you may meet better friends.
Kiss, good luck. Lloyd