What's wrong with me...?

[t4m7bab]

I'm having trouble with a severe depression and acute paranoia. Sometimes I become sad for no apparent reason, or I find myself thinking/worrying about something without any real idea of what it is. I become scared for and of the people around and things around me, and I always have uncontrollable visions of others or myself getting hurt. I always hear noises, and I become incredibly uncomfortable in public situations. I am also prone to supreme anger almost out of nowhere, anger so violent that, in my high school years, I nearly committed suicide and still have the scars to prove it. When I'm around non-family, however, I become very...lax. Sort of like I can't become any happier than a weak smile but I'm not REALLY sad at the moment. In fact, even to me it seems like I'm a different person; my voice and the way I speak even change. I don't know what it is, but I want it to go away so I can live a happier life and stop letting the others around me worry. One thing I know is that I also have a dependency, an uncontrollable urge to accept, be accepted, and to help.

[shiamoore]

Hey my name is shia and i use to have those same feelings until i was told i was having panic attacks so attacks r diff from others and it sounds like ur throwing ur self like i was into depression because u dont know how to control the attacks when they come on.. Dont worrie i did the same thing i finally talked to my doc and he said most ppl do that and become suicidal because u feel weird and not normal but u r ur just fighting against ur body... Do u have feelings like u do nun right even when u try to do everything right? and when u feel that way do u go into hot flashes and werid feelings like as cant breath and feel like u just want to die? cuz if so i think u r goin through what i was goin through panic attacks and depression ontop of the panic attacks.. U should next time sit in a room where noone is around and breath deep three or four times and just relax and the feelings should ease off.. ill b prayin for u and i hope u start to feeling better soon.. hope i helped any..

[rnangel]

Congrats on posting and taking charge of your health! Some of the symptoms you are experiencing sound like the effects of post traumatic stress disorder. Regardless of when stressful incidents occur, the adverse effects can return at any point in our life. Talk to your doctor about medications that may be right for you. Seek counselling and/or mutual support groups. Please, if you ever feel like you want to harm yourself then call 911 or helpline.Well wished to you!

[vickyj0904]

You definitely should see a doctor. The depression can be taken care of with medicines. But the paranoia could be a real issue. You mentioned being non responsive to people out side of your family. That could be because you arent in you comfort zone and many people do feel that way. It does not mean anything is wrong with you.  you should still consult a doctor because the outbursts of anger is not healthy and it could be very serious. Never be afraid to ask your doctors anything even if you do think it is a stupid question. Definitely seek medical help about the visions and paranoia. It could be many causes.