I'm scared for myself

[Tony102]

I'm 18, I smoked weed for a year im not sure if this has anything to do with it but iv completely stopped now. I feel as if in going insane, I wake up ten times a night averagely. When I'm awake I feel as if in in a constant dream like state 24/7 my vision is blurry and behind that in constantly thinking about what everyone else is thinking. I sometimes hear voices.. rarely though. I feel as if I can't live like this for the rest of my life I want to go back to the way I was 6 month ago, iv had a depression test and it came back negative. Iv had an eye test and everything was fine my general health is good and my parents are well off and I'm looked after extremely well, I feel as if I'm always being looked down on now and iv got to impress and I think about things to say in every situation because I think about what everyone in the circle is thinking of me. What can I do?

[Tony102]

I don't want to talk to my parents about this, they have such high standards of me and I don't want to disappoint. I'm not depressed the doctors proved this.. I'm on holiday in Greece at the moment with my mates and all I want to do is be by myself, any ideas? I want to be my normal happy self again. When I went to the doctors they asked me have I thought of suiscidal thoughts and I said yes, I would never do it but that seems like the only way out of this hole i'm in. How can I help myself? Please

[Mommacee1959]

Toni, this is definitely a cry for help.  I personally think you should show your parents this post.  You sound depressed and smoking pot helped mask that depression.  It would be wise to seek professional help-a psychologist maybe to help you work out your feelings of no self worth.  I am sure you are an incredible human being and suffering from sadness is nothing to be ashamed of. Please talk to your parents as soon as possible and I am sure they can help you through this!