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OT: UGGGHHH!! How 2 Deal!
First off my apologies for ranting so much this weekend! It's just one of those weekends!! So my question is how do you deal with all this when you are the only one who cares about your weight loss? What do i tell myself to feel better when no1 even acknowledges that i have lost almost 14lbs or cares for that matter!! Ok so here's my problem this weekend was DH's nieces b-day party which let me say I HATE these parties i know its for the baby but to me im an outsider who's reminded of my infertility and why I stand in the background while every1 else is going crazy over there kids!! It always makes me feel like a failure of why i dont have any although its not my fault and i seriously have no control over it if i did i would have them!! Anyway i figure family party so some1 shall notice i lost ALL this weight well NOPE NO1 says hi to me no1 says anything to me at ALL period!! I know a 20lb weight loss may not seem like much but its such a big deal to me and i been working so hard to get there and no1 gives a damn!! I dunno maybe i expect too much outta peeps, I'm just one of those attention wanters lol!! I swear if I didnt have at least one of you guys telling me to keep at it i would have given up long ago!! Any who thats my vent Thnx for listening and supporting!!
TY SOOOOO Much Ranae!! you have such kinds words that touch me!! I always say and you really are an amazing and inspirational woman!! you had/have a reason to be proud!! you accomplished quite a bit and all on ur own!! I feel so selfish now i always try to pity myself on the having kids thing when i know theres nothing me or any1 else can do! Only from being on Medhelp have i learned there are so many more people out there just like me in my situation going through the same pain and frustrations of not being able to conceive! Just never thought I would be the 27 yr old with no kids sitting in the bkground while every1 else had fun with theirs!! I am SS both you guys have went through so much with this also!! It is very hard!! TY Guys again for reminding me im not the only person who struggles out there and for supporting me!!
Oh ... and never a need to apologize. That is what this community is for .. to share in the trying times as well as the good. You know .. "Support" community ... (((Hugs)))
First, I am absolutely SO PROUD of YOU on soooo many levels!!! What a brave, soulful, caring, tender, strong, persistent and committed woman you are!
It is absolutely normal to want to receive some attention when you have worked so hard on your goal. It is no different than wanting someone to watch your dance recital, attend your band conference, shout out at the B+ you got on a test or notice when you have a new "do". In fact, perhaps it is even more personal because it has to do with our own self-image and all the interpersonal hurdles we had to climb to get there.
Twenty Pounds is worth shouting about .. from the rafters!!! YOU, my dear ... Y O U have accomplished this and Y O U should be so proud of Y O U!
The validation is important, however, may I suggest that you not wait for someone to notice? How about asking what's new in their life and then sharing with them your accomplishment and your journey? Absolutely no reason to be the odd one out at the party .. invite yourself and enjoy the party!
Sometimes, speaking from personal experience, we tend to pull back a little as if in anticipation of being left out. This can, inadvertently, lead us to pull back in body language and make it somewhat difficult for others to reach out.
For instance, when I lost 60 pounds, I thought (ha ha ha) that I was skinny at 270 pounds. I felt happy and excited and I portrayed myself differently. I bounced when I walked and I smiled and .. much to my surprise .. all kinds of people talked to me. It took me a little further along my path to realize it was the manner in which I projected myself to them that allowed them to reach out and not pull back.
Please know I say this only from my experience and as food for thought.
As for not yet having the child you wish for .. that is most difficult. Like Helen, I had one child and then was never fortunate enough to have another. I had PCOS and my dream of having many children faded. There is nothing wrong with any of us that have so much love to give and yet either could not or have not yet conceived.
I wholeheartedly hope you will have the child (or children) of your dreams and will continue to hope those dreams come soon.
Gentle huggggsss and many many congratulations on your weight loss accomplishment .. you have indeed made your health and fitness a priority in your life!
Very best wishes .. goku .. angel .. you are indeed a blessing to this community, a beacon for our members .. and a dear friend.
It is absolutely normal to want to receive some attention when you have worked so hard on your goal. It is no different than wanting someone to watch your dance recital, attend your band conference, shout out at the B+ you got on a test or notice when you have a new "do". In fact, perhaps it is even more personal because it has to do with our own self-image and all the interpersonal hurdles we had to climb to get there.
Twenty Pounds is worth shouting about .. from the rafters!!! YOU, my dear ... Y O U have accomplished this and Y O U should be so proud of Y O U!
The validation is important, however, may I suggest that you not wait for someone to notice? How about asking what's new in their life and then sharing with them your accomplishment and your journey? Absolutely no reason to be the odd one out at the party .. invite yourself and enjoy the party!
Sometimes, speaking from personal experience, we tend to pull back a little as if in anticipation of being left out. This can, inadvertently, lead us to pull back in body language and make it somewhat difficult for others to reach out.
For instance, when I lost 60 pounds, I thought (ha ha ha) that I was skinny at 270 pounds. I felt happy and excited and I portrayed myself differently. I bounced when I walked and I smiled and .. much to my surprise .. all kinds of people talked to me. It took me a little further along my path to realize it was the manner in which I projected myself to them that allowed them to reach out and not pull back.
Please know I say this only from my experience and as food for thought.
As for not yet having the child you wish for .. that is most difficult. Like Helen, I had one child and then was never fortunate enough to have another. I had PCOS and my dream of having many children faded. There is nothing wrong with any of us that have so much love to give and yet either could not or have not yet conceived.
I wholeheartedly hope you will have the child (or children) of your dreams and will continue to hope those dreams come soon.
Gentle huggggsss and many many congratulations on your weight loss accomplishment .. you have indeed made your health and fitness a priority in your life!
Very best wishes .. goku .. angel .. you are indeed a blessing to this community, a beacon for our members .. and a dear friend.
TY for such kinds words and understanding!! Every journey even this one has many things to be learned and this is another thing i will have to learn!! Lol!! But I will i will get there im a strong person i been doing for myself since i was 16 so i know i can and will!!
Im totally the same weight wise - I am a single parent and not close to my family - my social life is none existant so tehre really is no one to notice my weight lsos but me - and it is hard not havning that validation of someone saying - wow you look good - or wow have you lsot weight?
Also I totally understand about feelign odd one out at teh party - I was diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility - I had my fisrt child when I was 16- he has Downs Syndrome and Autism - I didn't try for another till I was 28 and it took 4 years to have my next (and last baby) during those 4 years everyone I knew was having babies.. everywhere I looked was pregnant women... it is soul destroying - Im sorry for your pain (((hugs)))
Well done on the weight loss- do it for you and learn to not need that extra validation - nice as it is :) x
Also I totally understand about feelign odd one out at teh party - I was diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility - I had my fisrt child when I was 16- he has Downs Syndrome and Autism - I didn't try for another till I was 28 and it took 4 years to have my next (and last baby) during those 4 years everyone I knew was having babies.. everywhere I looked was pregnant women... it is soul destroying - Im sorry for your pain (((hugs)))
Well done on the weight loss- do it for you and learn to not need that extra validation - nice as it is :) x
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