Aa
Advice needed!
I need to lose 30-40 pounds. I hate myself right now. I don't eat right, I exercise but its a sad excuse for exercise. I weigh 185 and I'm 19 and 5 foot 4 inches tall. I am over weight. I never used to be. I used to me slim and strong. I used to exercise everyday and do 100 sit-ups 3-5 times a week. Now I just sit around, tredmill for 10 mins until my calvs kill me and I HATE IT!! I need motivation, quick and nutritious foods to eat. I can't stand seeing that scale go up anymore!! Its driving me nuts and destroying who I saw myself as. who I always thought myself to be! my self image is being shattered by my sudden lack of dedication and I need help to fix it! Honestly I'm losing respect for myself and I never thought I would. :(
Please I almost beg you, anyone, if you have tips, recipies, ANYTHING at all!?? please help me lose this weight???
Please I almost beg you, anyone, if you have tips, recipies, ANYTHING at all!?? please help me lose this weight???
COMMUNITY LEADER
I do understand about the cold - I was raised in South Dakota and lived many years in NW Iowa, so am no stranger to weather extremes - that's why we moved to Florida!!
Ok - I understand that you don't "hate yourself" per se; but I still think you are being a bit hard on yourself for hating what you've become. You've hit a bump in the road and ran into the ditch for a short while, but with determination and dedication, you can get back on the road again. You asked for help and as Ranae said, you have been very candid and open to suggestions so that's a good start.
Music can be a great companion during exercise. Have you thought about dancing? That's also great exercise and a break from the treadmill and fun as well. Almost any exercise you do can be more interesting and the time goes faster with the tunes.
Regarding the food - it's unfortunate that your fiance is so picky, but please don't let that stop you from eating healthy. My husband is very picky also (he'd live on well done hamburgers if I'd cook them every day), so I have to go ahead and eat the things I want/need by myself (for example, hubby might have a hamburger and chips, while I eat the meat patty with a tossed salad. If I ate all the things he does, I'd weigh a ton (he's tall and slim and doesn't suffer from thyroid disease) and by the same token, if I waited for him to eat the same things I do, I'd starve to death. Yes, sometimes it's very inconvenient and creates double the work, because there are times that it basically involves cooking 2 separate meals - but - I get the healthy food I need and he's not forced to eat what he doesn't like. We've been married for 41 years (really dated myself with that one, didn't I?) so I guess something is working.
That was a really long winded way of saying that hopefully, the 2 of you will have a long and happy life together; you won't always be living with his parents and there will be times that you don't agree on certain things, but sometimes you might need to just do what's right for you. You sound like a wonderful, intelligent girl - don't forget to be kind to yourself.
PS - I'm a pro at procrastination so I also know how easy it is to make an excuse not to exercise - we don't do ourselves any favors when we do that so maybe we can practice that one together!!
Ok - I understand that you don't "hate yourself" per se; but I still think you are being a bit hard on yourself for hating what you've become. You've hit a bump in the road and ran into the ditch for a short while, but with determination and dedication, you can get back on the road again. You asked for help and as Ranae said, you have been very candid and open to suggestions so that's a good start.
Music can be a great companion during exercise. Have you thought about dancing? That's also great exercise and a break from the treadmill and fun as well. Almost any exercise you do can be more interesting and the time goes faster with the tunes.
Regarding the food - it's unfortunate that your fiance is so picky, but please don't let that stop you from eating healthy. My husband is very picky also (he'd live on well done hamburgers if I'd cook them every day), so I have to go ahead and eat the things I want/need by myself (for example, hubby might have a hamburger and chips, while I eat the meat patty with a tossed salad. If I ate all the things he does, I'd weigh a ton (he's tall and slim and doesn't suffer from thyroid disease) and by the same token, if I waited for him to eat the same things I do, I'd starve to death. Yes, sometimes it's very inconvenient and creates double the work, because there are times that it basically involves cooking 2 separate meals - but - I get the healthy food I need and he's not forced to eat what he doesn't like. We've been married for 41 years (really dated myself with that one, didn't I?) so I guess something is working.
That was a really long winded way of saying that hopefully, the 2 of you will have a long and happy life together; you won't always be living with his parents and there will be times that you don't agree on certain things, but sometimes you might need to just do what's right for you. You sound like a wonderful, intelligent girl - don't forget to be kind to yourself.
PS - I'm a pro at procrastination so I also know how easy it is to make an excuse not to exercise - we don't do ourselves any favors when we do that so maybe we can practice that one together!!
Here’s an idea or two ..
Why not try the Healthy Cooking community as it has lots of healthy recipes that you and your husband can try together.
You may also want to try a “date night” where you go out or a “date night” where you stay in and just enjoy each other’s company away from anyone else. Try a picnic lunch or one of the new recipes .. if you let me know what you like, would try to find you a few that may sound good. It’s not a “vacation” in the sense you can get away .. but it can be fun and make it seem like a mini-vacation.
Always want you to feel free to talk about these things openly .. it is how we deal with it, get advice, make plans of action and move forward. Am very proud of you for talking so candidly and for being so responsive!!!
Many Hugssss ..
Why not try the Healthy Cooking community as it has lots of healthy recipes that you and your husband can try together.
You may also want to try a “date night” where you go out or a “date night” where you stay in and just enjoy each other’s company away from anyone else. Try a picnic lunch or one of the new recipes .. if you let me know what you like, would try to find you a few that may sound good. It’s not a “vacation” in the sense you can get away .. but it can be fun and make it seem like a mini-vacation.
Always want you to feel free to talk about these things openly .. it is how we deal with it, get advice, make plans of action and move forward. Am very proud of you for talking so candidly and for being so responsive!!!
Many Hugssss ..
Thank you
I just need to talk about this all openly. talk about my struggles and minor successes. My Fiance is a help but we both can put things off and make excuses.
In Reply to yours about my comment:
I don't hate myself. I just hate that I've let myself become someone I'm not. I never used to be like this. I used to be thin and could exercise everyday and I loved it. I used to do what I loved and I was happy. I was happy with myself. its hard to be happy with yourself when you know that who you are now isn't who you really are. my behavior isn't right. I never used to be so lazy I never used to be quite so critical. I need a vacation from everything. I just wish I could go somewhere like a health spa or something, eat right every day , daily exercise. but of course that is dreaming. and if I want to lose the weight I will have to find a way to work with what I have.
I just need to talk about this all openly. talk about my struggles and minor successes. My Fiance is a help but we both can put things off and make excuses.
In Reply to yours about my comment:
I don't hate myself. I just hate that I've let myself become someone I'm not. I never used to be like this. I used to be thin and could exercise everyday and I loved it. I used to do what I loved and I was happy. I was happy with myself. its hard to be happy with yourself when you know that who you are now isn't who you really are. my behavior isn't right. I never used to be so lazy I never used to be quite so critical. I need a vacation from everything. I just wish I could go somewhere like a health spa or something, eat right every day , daily exercise. but of course that is dreaming. and if I want to lose the weight I will have to find a way to work with what I have.
Thank you so much for your advice.
I'll do my best to put it into practice :)
I would go for walks but on average its -30C here and often -40C with the wind. so in the winter the treadmill is the best thing. its not really the "dreaded" treadmill. not to me anyway. mind you it does take some will power to get on.but once on I learned the other day I discoverd music that keeps me energised and keeps me going for 30 mins on the treadmill! I was proud of myself for this small accomplishment. today I plan on doing it again. sadly I ended up making an excuse yesterday so exercise was a no go. but I have high hopes for today. :)
My problem is also that my Fiance is a VERY picky eater. I have alot of trouble getting Him to eat anything that I know tastes great and is good for us.
aside from that I want to try hard to get the weight off. and I want to find a way to get my fiance to eat right. he runs the treadmill for the same time as me and neither of us has seem improvement but we've just started and we still need to keep tweaking our diet.
Thank you again for the advice :)
I'll do my best to put it into practice :)
I would go for walks but on average its -30C here and often -40C with the wind. so in the winter the treadmill is the best thing. its not really the "dreaded" treadmill. not to me anyway. mind you it does take some will power to get on.but once on I learned the other day I discoverd music that keeps me energised and keeps me going for 30 mins on the treadmill! I was proud of myself for this small accomplishment. today I plan on doing it again. sadly I ended up making an excuse yesterday so exercise was a no go. but I have high hopes for today. :)
My problem is also that my Fiance is a VERY picky eater. I have alot of trouble getting Him to eat anything that I know tastes great and is good for us.
aside from that I want to try hard to get the weight off. and I want to find a way to get my fiance to eat right. he runs the treadmill for the same time as me and neither of us has seem improvement but we've just started and we still need to keep tweaking our diet.
Thank you again for the advice :)
Barb has provided you with some excellent ways to move forward in the journey to your goals. There is a way if you have the will and teh desire to begin making some changes. The best way to accomplish change is to first ready your mind .. maybe make a list of what you will achieve if you elect to make changes and what it will cost you if you do not. The lists should be opposing. Next, keep them handy and look at them before you go to the kitchen or to a meal. Eating the apple and water before a meal is definitely a wonderful way to help you eat a smaller meal. You may also elect to use a smaller plate. Visually it still looks full and helps us control portions and allows our thoughts to feel we are not being deprived.
We'll continue supporting each other here in the community so please stay involved and stay active; it truly does help. This community has helped me through a difficult time in the past 3-4 weeks with many family issues and their support helped me not completely give in to the urge to eat emotionally. While I did fail a few times, I did not give up and go wild.
Additionally, we'll be kicking off a HUGE Challenge for January 1st and everyone will be helping each other .. and there will be many activities .. motivation, exercise, articles, games, talk, recipes .. and anything else we can think of.
Hang in there kiddo .. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
Warmest (((Hugs)))
Ranae
We'll continue supporting each other here in the community so please stay involved and stay active; it truly does help. This community has helped me through a difficult time in the past 3-4 weeks with many family issues and their support helped me not completely give in to the urge to eat emotionally. While I did fail a few times, I did not give up and go wild.
Additionally, we'll be kicking off a HUGE Challenge for January 1st and everyone will be helping each other .. and there will be many activities .. motivation, exercise, articles, games, talk, recipes .. and anything else we can think of.
Hang in there kiddo .. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
Warmest (((Hugs)))
Ranae
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ok - take a deep breath and try to relax for a minute. It's understandable that you have a dilemma when live with your fiance's parents and all the other things you mentioned.
You don't need to ask your fiance's mother to get rid of the "bad" stuff. Just try to make more suitable choices available for yourself.
1) Try cutting the portions you eat.
2) Could you go to the store and buy, like apples, and eat an apple before the meal? That would help fill you up so you wouldn't eat so much at the meal.
3) Try drinking a full glass of water before the meal - that also might help you fill up so you wouldn't eat so much.
4) Maybe you could buy fat free milk for yourself (if you explain the situation to your fiance's parents, I'm sure they would share the fridge); or maybe some fresh veggies that can be eaten raw (carrots, celery, cauliflower, etc) that you could nibble on between/before meals in order to help fill you up in order to cut the amount of the fatty foods. Or maybe your future mother in law would let you use a pan to cook some veggies?
5) Maybe some 100 Calorie packs for snacks that you can keep in your room.
6) Maybe you could offer to cook a couple meals each week, then use available food in a healthy manner? Who knows, maybe everyone would enjoy it and you could start a new tradition?
I understand that your stress level is high and you don't want to be rude to anyone who is helping you out, but you must be your own advocate and there are things that you can do to help avoid the bad eating habits of the other people in the house without offending them.
Also you don't mention exercise, other than the "dreaded" treadmill, so I don't know if you live in an area where it's safe/feasible to go for walks (sounds like you could use the "down time" to be alone for a while or get your fiance to go with you for some "alone time"); or if you might have access to a gym (probably not if you are saving funds for school); or if you have access to cable that might have an exercise channel or if you have DVD player and could get a couple exercise DVD's that you could do in the privacy of your room.
These are just some suggestions that you can think about. My daughter went through something very similar some years ago when she lived with her (then) new husband's parents and I gave her the same advice. It wasn't easy for her, but she came through with flying colors.
Now - another deep breath and referring to Ranae's story above - make sure you "feed the right wolf".
Good night and Good luck
You don't need to ask your fiance's mother to get rid of the "bad" stuff. Just try to make more suitable choices available for yourself.
1) Try cutting the portions you eat.
2) Could you go to the store and buy, like apples, and eat an apple before the meal? That would help fill you up so you wouldn't eat so much at the meal.
3) Try drinking a full glass of water before the meal - that also might help you fill up so you wouldn't eat so much.
4) Maybe you could buy fat free milk for yourself (if you explain the situation to your fiance's parents, I'm sure they would share the fridge); or maybe some fresh veggies that can be eaten raw (carrots, celery, cauliflower, etc) that you could nibble on between/before meals in order to help fill you up in order to cut the amount of the fatty foods. Or maybe your future mother in law would let you use a pan to cook some veggies?
5) Maybe some 100 Calorie packs for snacks that you can keep in your room.
6) Maybe you could offer to cook a couple meals each week, then use available food in a healthy manner? Who knows, maybe everyone would enjoy it and you could start a new tradition?
I understand that your stress level is high and you don't want to be rude to anyone who is helping you out, but you must be your own advocate and there are things that you can do to help avoid the bad eating habits of the other people in the house without offending them.
Also you don't mention exercise, other than the "dreaded" treadmill, so I don't know if you live in an area where it's safe/feasible to go for walks (sounds like you could use the "down time" to be alone for a while or get your fiance to go with you for some "alone time"); or if you might have access to a gym (probably not if you are saving funds for school); or if you have access to cable that might have an exercise channel or if you have DVD player and could get a couple exercise DVD's that you could do in the privacy of your room.
These are just some suggestions that you can think about. My daughter went through something very similar some years ago when she lived with her (then) new husband's parents and I gave her the same advice. It wasn't easy for her, but she came through with flying colors.
Now - another deep breath and referring to Ranae's story above - make sure you "feed the right wolf".
Good night and Good luck
Thank you for your advice.
Unfortunately I can't remove the bad food from my environment as it isn't my house and I don't pay for the groceries (mind you I help pay for them but thats not the point :P) I live with my fiance's parents. we are renting a room from them while we save so that I can go to college and we can move to the city where I will be going to school. Anyway, his mother buys the groceries and she isn't health conscious at all. they like fatty foods. they like butters and prefer homo milk. among other things. they keep a lot of junk food around the house and its its hard to resist. the odd thing about it is their pop contradiction. with all that fat laying around the house they drink DIET coke.
Sorry for rambling. My point is that I don't buy the groceries and it would be wrong of me to ask her to get rid of all the things she is ok with eating. I try to stay away from it but as I'm sure everyone knows, its hard to resist whats right infront of you.
My parents are health conscious. They dont keep much junk in their house. they eat proper meals alternating beef, poultry, prok and fish as well as pasta dishes through the week. everything is with a salad and a veggie or a veggie and a baked potatoe (I am aware that potatoes are veggies :P) I never used to buy much junk and if I did I wouldn't eat it all. I had a small appetite so I wouldn't be able to eat huge meals like I do now.
So much has changed and I look forward to having my own place with my fiance so that I can finally eat the way I know I should (again). I just hope I can at the very least manage my weight until then (7 months away)
and speaking of, I need to save for that move. so there is that stress weighing on me as well as the stress of getting my Student Financial Assistance Forms in so that I can get my Aboriginal student Grant and my northern students grant. without it school would have to wait, and that adds stress to. and when under stress I don't think anyone really likes cooking.
to top it off, I feel I have no right to the kitchen. Because I'm not the one buying the groceries, for some reason I feel like I shouldn't use their food. which is also why I'm looking forward to these next 7 months to be over quickly.
thank you again for your help.
Unfortunately I can't remove the bad food from my environment as it isn't my house and I don't pay for the groceries (mind you I help pay for them but thats not the point :P) I live with my fiance's parents. we are renting a room from them while we save so that I can go to college and we can move to the city where I will be going to school. Anyway, his mother buys the groceries and she isn't health conscious at all. they like fatty foods. they like butters and prefer homo milk. among other things. they keep a lot of junk food around the house and its its hard to resist. the odd thing about it is their pop contradiction. with all that fat laying around the house they drink DIET coke.
Sorry for rambling. My point is that I don't buy the groceries and it would be wrong of me to ask her to get rid of all the things she is ok with eating. I try to stay away from it but as I'm sure everyone knows, its hard to resist whats right infront of you.
My parents are health conscious. They dont keep much junk in their house. they eat proper meals alternating beef, poultry, prok and fish as well as pasta dishes through the week. everything is with a salad and a veggie or a veggie and a baked potatoe (I am aware that potatoes are veggies :P) I never used to buy much junk and if I did I wouldn't eat it all. I had a small appetite so I wouldn't be able to eat huge meals like I do now.
So much has changed and I look forward to having my own place with my fiance so that I can finally eat the way I know I should (again). I just hope I can at the very least manage my weight until then (7 months away)
and speaking of, I need to save for that move. so there is that stress weighing on me as well as the stress of getting my Student Financial Assistance Forms in so that I can get my Aboriginal student Grant and my northern students grant. without it school would have to wait, and that adds stress to. and when under stress I don't think anyone really likes cooking.
to top it off, I feel I have no right to the kitchen. Because I'm not the one buying the groceries, for some reason I feel like I shouldn't use their food. which is also why I'm looking forward to these next 7 months to be over quickly.
thank you again for your help.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome!! I agree with Ranae - be gentle with yourself.
Ranae covered the basics of the food. For the exercise - if you don't like the treadmill - why not just go outside and go for a walk? The scenery changes constantly (even when you walk the same route). Some cable channels even have exercise and/or yoga channels, so you don't have to do the same thing all the time.
Good luck and come back to see us often as everyone here always has good ideas and lots of support.
Ranae covered the basics of the food. For the exercise - if you don't like the treadmill - why not just go outside and go for a walk? The scenery changes constantly (even when you walk the same route). Some cable channels even have exercise and/or yoga channels, so you don't have to do the same thing all the time.
Good luck and come back to see us often as everyone here always has good ideas and lots of support.
Dearest Kat ~
As I read your post I just want to reach out an hug you! With all due respect, and with your best interests at heart, please allow me to share some thoughts with you.
First, please be gentle with yourself ... kind and forgiving. Here is a little story that helped me ... and I hope it helps you ...
ONE evening, and old Cherokee told his grandson about the eternal battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My boy, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.”
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, tolerance, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The boy thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
You can find the rest of this post entitled Motivation and Support – Keys to Successful Weight Loss ! at http://www.ranaesheart.com/2008/04/motivation-and-support-keys-to.html You will have to copy and paste the url.
There is another one I hope will help .. Why Sabotage Yourself? I'm taking the liberty of posting it in my journal here on MedHelp so this should link for you ... http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/47648
Now, as for actually losing the weight, we can help you do this. Begin by removing unhealthy foods from your environment. Then, replace it with some healthy foods that are lean proteins, whole grains or complex carbohydrates, fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy and healthy fats (olive oil, nuts).
Why don't you come join us here tomorrow night in the community for Live Chat .. you can ask questions and receive a host of answers and information by refreshing your screen and typing back and forth with members. Please keep posting and joining us here ... try implementing the Weight Tracker, Mood Tracker and Exercise Tracker ... it helps remind us of our goals and what we need to do to accomplish them.
Hope to hear from you again soon ... very best wishes ... and many hugs gentle friend. Hope you will try to be as kind and caring for yourself as you are to others ..
Ranae
As I read your post I just want to reach out an hug you! With all due respect, and with your best interests at heart, please allow me to share some thoughts with you.
First, please be gentle with yourself ... kind and forgiving. Here is a little story that helped me ... and I hope it helps you ...
ONE evening, and old Cherokee told his grandson about the eternal battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My boy, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.”
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, tolerance, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The boy thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
You can find the rest of this post entitled Motivation and Support – Keys to Successful Weight Loss ! at http://www.ranaesheart.com/2008/04/motivation-and-support-keys-to.html You will have to copy and paste the url.
There is another one I hope will help .. Why Sabotage Yourself? I'm taking the liberty of posting it in my journal here on MedHelp so this should link for you ... http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/47648
Now, as for actually losing the weight, we can help you do this. Begin by removing unhealthy foods from your environment. Then, replace it with some healthy foods that are lean proteins, whole grains or complex carbohydrates, fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy and healthy fats (olive oil, nuts).
Why don't you come join us here tomorrow night in the community for Live Chat .. you can ask questions and receive a host of answers and information by refreshing your screen and typing back and forth with members. Please keep posting and joining us here ... try implementing the Weight Tracker, Mood Tracker and Exercise Tracker ... it helps remind us of our goals and what we need to do to accomplish them.
Hope to hear from you again soon ... very best wishes ... and many hugs gentle friend. Hope you will try to be as kind and caring for yourself as you are to others ..
Ranae
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