Dearest Kat ~
As I read your post I just want to reach out an hug you! With all due respect, and with your best interests at heart, please allow me to share some thoughts with you.
First, please be gentle with yourself ... kind and forgiving. Here is a little story that helped me ... and I hope it helps you ...
ONE evening, and old Cherokee told his grandson about the eternal battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My boy, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.”
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, tolerance, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The boy thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
You can find the rest of this post entitled Motivation and Support – Keys to Successful Weight Loss ! at http://www.ranaesheart.com/2008/04/motivation-and-support-keys-to.html You will have to copy and paste the url.
There is another one I hope will help .. Why Sabotage Yourself? I'm taking the liberty of posting it in my journal here on MedHelp so this should link for you ...
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/47648
Now, as for actually losing the weight, we can help you do this. Begin by removing unhealthy foods from your environment. Then, replace it with some healthy foods that are lean proteins, whole grains or complex carbohydrates, fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy and healthy fats (olive oil, nuts).
Why don't you come join us here tomorrow night in the community for Live Chat .. you can ask questions and receive a host of answers and information by refreshing your screen and typing back and forth with members. Please keep posting and joining us here ... try implementing the Weight Tracker, Mood Tracker and Exercise Tracker ... it helps remind us of our goals and what we need to do to accomplish them.
Hope to hear from you again soon ... very best wishes ... and many hugs gentle friend. Hope you will try to be as kind and caring for yourself as you are to others ..
Ranae