Wheel came off again

[Got_To_Do_It]

I have had a week of giving into my vices -  nameley, cakes, chocolate, crisps, pastry's and fatty foods -  I am paying the price not just in weight gain but in a digestive sluggish mode which has kicked off my Irritable Bowel Syndrome which means I will now go 5-10 days without going to the toilet properly -  I will gain 2-3" round my abdomen and retain fluid like I am a camel in the desert -  all things that I knew would happen but were not enough of a deterent to stop me abusing my body for a few days..... I hate this cycle of self abuse then self loathing.

Does anyone else self sabbotage their good work?

I have put the wheel back on this morning and am back on track -  but will take me a week or two to get back to where I was and to let my body forgive me!

[Got_To_Do_It]

Thanks Elaine -  I always knew I wouldhave bad days-  but bad weeks??? lol

Ohh Sandy good to know Im not alone lol. x

[dai3symae]

The answer to your question.....yes, I sabotage my hard work.....over and over again....with chocolate, chips (sweet then salty).  Then I'm miserable with IBS/bloating.....you sound so much like me.

I know what you mean about the freedom to eat whatever you want.....even knowing the consequences will come.  I've also gone to therapy........but sometimes I just can't follow all I've learned.

This time I'm determined to hold myself accountable and remain connected to this community so I won't quit.  And I'm accepting setbacks a part of the process.

Stay strong....don't beat yourself up too much.  We can do this together.  I'm here for you     :)

Sandy

[elaine1961]

Hi Helen, i wouldnt worry to much about whats gone, your getting back on track thats the main thing, its hard when you buy nice treats for Elizabeth not to get tempted, I find it hard when Camerons here and thats only for the weekend,just start again You and I both know you can do it, your strong and determined to do it so you will

[Got_To_Do_It]

Actually I had a fantastic week emotionally which is why I dont understand why I felt the need to indulge in a few days of lots of junk.... I KNOW I am worth it-  this wasnt about feeling bad about myself(until after I pigged out on all the junk).

I went out and bought the goodies -  lots of them -  knowing I was going to devour them and suffer later.... I really enjoyed teh freedom of not caring abut what I put into my mouth (at the time) I enjoyed the tastes and textures of the food....

I have been through therapy last year for PTSD.. and I have the tools to sort out my head... just not the ones that tell my tastebuds to be quiet...

I am okay again today -  back on track and feeling positive...just bloated and uncomfortable -  the next 3 days will see that slowly go...

I hate that three bad days unndoes 3 weeks of good days!

[Barb135]

I have known people who do this.  Each time there was something that had caused them to feel that they weren't "good enough" or "smart enough" to be pretty, healthy, happy, etc.  
It's usually because of some life changing event or something someone said that made them feel that way.  

Just remember, we all have to pamper and take care of ourselves, before we can do a good job taking care of others (children, husbands, etc).  You have to keep reminding yourself that "I AM WORTH IT".  Take a piece of paper and write that down, then stick it to the refrigerator door and/or anywhere else you will see it on a regular basis.  Then BELIEVE it.  

Make sure you get rid of all the "goodies" you have in the house so you aren't tempted to eat them just so "they don't go to waste".  Then let yourself soak in a nice hot tub with your favorite scent, wash your hair and do it your most flattering style, put on some makeup and dress up in your favorite pretty outfit, etc.   You don't have to go anywhere or do anything - you just need to be beautiful for yourself because "YOU ARE WORTH IT".  

I have known some people that found a therapist to help work through the reason(s) why they sabotage themselves.  I might recommend that in order for you to work through your reason for doing this to yourself, because clearly your health may be at stake, with the IBS and fluid retention.  You might want to think if that is an option.  

Hang in there, though you can get through this. And we're here to help you.  Good luck.