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Boyfriend can't keep erection during intercourse. What do I do? How do I talk to him about it?
I'm having sex with a 23 year old guy.I really like him and we seem to have great chemistry.The only issue we have is that he has a major problem maintaining an erection during intercourse and/or oral sex and he has NEVER ejaculated in the very many times that we have been intimate.I am more successful at keeping it hard during oral sex but still no ejaculation.After the erection goes away, he still acts and seems very much aroused and wants me to continue stimulating him but there is no erection and it takes A LOT to get the erection to come back. Sometimes it just won't come back and then I give up.One other thing that I have noticed that is different in him than in other men I've slept with is that he has a somewhat painful look on his face during intercourse and arousal and I'm unsure if it is just a weird "O" face or what. Plus I have to be on top almost 90% of the time.I can tell he has somewhat low self confidence which make me think that I'm not the only one this has happened with and also I am slow to bring the subject up to talk to him about because he avoids my question. I've tried asking him what he likes me to do and he either doesn't respond or his response is simply "whatever you do is great". During the moment of "failure" when he looses his erection I try my best to act like its no big deal and help boost his confidence but I can't help thinking that I could possibly be the problem and it hurts my confidence as well.
Im not a doctor But maybe he might have a penis problem if it hurts r it just wont stay hard Maybe he thinks he is to small Maybe he might not be into you Maybe he gay whatever the reason talk to him and tell him to be totally honest with you If he is in love with you which i hope he is Make him see a doctor it might be a problem that can get worse over time r while yall makeing love Good luck girl i know it been awhile since you wrote it But i just recently found med help and really bored untill my hubby gets off work.
(25, male, fit) i had this exact same problem. its most likely a combination of performance anxiety and a change in sensation. erection loss due to psychological factors can be complex but its usually a fear that poor performance will lead to emotional rejection. this kind of pressure can make a man feel objectified, helpless, that his entire future hinges on the sexual performance at hand..which then creates the self fulfilling prophecy and a continuing negative cycle. being patient, loving and supportive is the only way around this, it may take months, even a year to get over and will likely be re occuring if issues such as self esteem etc arise through his life. the other issue that can cause erection loss is sensation change, men who masturbate regularly get used to the feeling and technique of their hand. just switching quickly to vaginal intercourse can get our subconscious confused and cause our little buddy to deflate in response. i suggest mutual masturbation, learn to enjoy sexual behaviour outside of sex itself, then have him transition, first with his hand on himself, then eventually penetration. if you find the process frusterating or time consuming then there may be deeper issues, sex should always be an expression of love, bonding, sharing, acceptance etc. i also recommend both of you stay away from porn, it sets an unrealistic standard that does not reflect the genuine human experience.
Am 23 my wife is 37 she's fat and her belly jus hang over its a big turn off for me and I want our relation ship 2 work, we use 2 have good sex but it all stop. We r in different country and when she visit like di last time I only did oral because after awhile my penis jus would stand. I need help she's fillin for devorse I want 2 save our marrage plz any advice out their?
To everyone here,
Im 16 and began to have this same problem. At first, we would bang a few times a week, maybe 3 times a day, and i could get and stay hard. Then recently, my problem started. It started after taking Nitric Oxide while broken up with my girlfriend. I masturbated to porn up to 3 or 4 times a day, and the Nitric Oxide allowed me to do so because of the blood flow. I went off the Nitric Oxide, and between the mental desensitization (from porn) and physical (from masturbation), I had serious problems keeping it going with my girl in bed. As of today, we broke up. It wasent a nerves issue because I was with her for almost 2 years, and even our 1st time (both of us were virgins) I was rock hard. I firmly believe that the excessive masturbation and porn caused my situation, and many of your's as well (after reading this whole blog). Tips:
- For the nerves: Gain self confidence by working out, and also, keep your mind from wandering. Focus on how hot your girl is and how badly you want to **** the **** out of her like a man and how thats exactly what you'll do. That always solved any fleeting nerve issue for me.
-For the people with condom issues (i.e finding that condoms feel weird). If you have the money to buy them, practice with them. Get hard, maintain the hard-on (without stimulation), and put on the condom, then continue to maintain it. Easier said then done I know, but being able to do that will prepare you for long foreplay. Also, Trojan Ecstasy condoms feel amazing...so much better than the others...I HIGHLY recommend them.
-Finally, for mental/physical desensitization. This is what I'm starting now. NO masturbation what so ever for 4 weeks. Avoid all synthetic sexual stimulation (i.e. get hard via your brain or seeing women in real life ONLY). Keep sexual urges at bay by running or other rigorous exercise.
Most of you probably don't need to see a doctor. Your body is very resilient, and will recover itself. I'm already seeing results and I haven't even started the "real" regimen yet. My mental sex drive is rising and I've started to be able to get hard to the thought of women I don't even consider much more than a 5 or 6 (out of 10). Yes, my nerves will be worse now that this has happened, but get confidence back. If your single, boost your ego by flirting with beautiful girls (without being a jerk), get used to being around any given girl, not just your girl, because your screwed if she leaves you and you were only comfortable around her. Do NOT smoke anything, and if you want to take off a nervous edge, get a little buzz, but no more or it will have adverse effects. During the 4 week period, find a goal to take your mind off it. Personally, I'm training for both football and the Navy Seals, so I can find any excuse to work out. Find your own goal. Don't go on any weird diets, but eat healthy enough. Were all in this together. Good-luck to you all, and keep posting!
Im 16 and began to have this same problem. At first, we would bang a few times a week, maybe 3 times a day, and i could get and stay hard. Then recently, my problem started. It started after taking Nitric Oxide while broken up with my girlfriend. I masturbated to porn up to 3 or 4 times a day, and the Nitric Oxide allowed me to do so because of the blood flow. I went off the Nitric Oxide, and between the mental desensitization (from porn) and physical (from masturbation), I had serious problems keeping it going with my girl in bed. As of today, we broke up. It wasent a nerves issue because I was with her for almost 2 years, and even our 1st time (both of us were virgins) I was rock hard. I firmly believe that the excessive masturbation and porn caused my situation, and many of your's as well (after reading this whole blog). Tips:
- For the nerves: Gain self confidence by working out, and also, keep your mind from wandering. Focus on how hot your girl is and how badly you want to **** the **** out of her like a man and how thats exactly what you'll do. That always solved any fleeting nerve issue for me.
-For the people with condom issues (i.e finding that condoms feel weird). If you have the money to buy them, practice with them. Get hard, maintain the hard-on (without stimulation), and put on the condom, then continue to maintain it. Easier said then done I know, but being able to do that will prepare you for long foreplay. Also, Trojan Ecstasy condoms feel amazing...so much better than the others...I HIGHLY recommend them.
-Finally, for mental/physical desensitization. This is what I'm starting now. NO masturbation what so ever for 4 weeks. Avoid all synthetic sexual stimulation (i.e. get hard via your brain or seeing women in real life ONLY). Keep sexual urges at bay by running or other rigorous exercise.
Most of you probably don't need to see a doctor. Your body is very resilient, and will recover itself. I'm already seeing results and I haven't even started the "real" regimen yet. My mental sex drive is rising and I've started to be able to get hard to the thought of women I don't even consider much more than a 5 or 6 (out of 10). Yes, my nerves will be worse now that this has happened, but get confidence back. If your single, boost your ego by flirting with beautiful girls (without being a jerk), get used to being around any given girl, not just your girl, because your screwed if she leaves you and you were only comfortable around her. Do NOT smoke anything, and if you want to take off a nervous edge, get a little buzz, but no more or it will have adverse effects. During the 4 week period, find a goal to take your mind off it. Personally, I'm training for both football and the Navy Seals, so I can find any excuse to work out. Find your own goal. Don't go on any weird diets, but eat healthy enough. Were all in this together. Good-luck to you all, and keep posting!
I am a 30 old married person. I get fully aroused during intimate times; however, ejaculate in seconds after foreplay is over. After the first round, it takes me about 5 minutes to get the erection again. When I was a teenage boy of 16 years I had anal sex with a female during which I got my penis hurt. The ligament or the membrane on the middle of penis glans that connects the forskin to the penis shaft was broken and blood came out. I felt a shock at that time and extreme pleasure plus some pain. After a week when I masturbated I ejaculated in few seconds and without much pleasure. After that incident I have never been able to feel pleasure as I did when my penis was alright (before injury). I still feel bad as I am not able to enjoy my sex life properly. It has become a machine kind of job where I feel a little pleasure only when I ejaculate and that too in quite early (few seconds) Please advise.
I am having the same type of problem. I just lost my virginity on my 19th birthday and I want able to become fully hard. We were and still are into each other but I have a major problem keeping or even getting an erection. We used a condom the first time but I had no feeling and we just tried no protection and I felt everything but I could not penetrate because there was no lubrication. I feel like she is kind of the same way because she has trouble getting wet even though we are both really into it when we try having sex. Can any one give me any ideas or pointers?
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