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new relationship and not climaxing
Hi I am 41 and recently out of a bad marriage. I have been seeing some one and we have been intimate about 5-6 xs. My ex was the only man i had ever been with before him. Sex is awesome but i havent climaxed, i had no problem with that when i was married. I know it bothers him. Could it just be the newness of the relationship. Is there something we can to help it along. and does anybody know if caffine affects orgasims. Thanks for taking the time to read and listen.
Hippiechic
Hippiechic
I am 24 years old and still with my "first". no kids but barely have time for sex. I do take Cymbalta 60 mg ( btw I'm a Certified Pharmacy Technician) so I know the side effects of that but I have been taking it for a while and you would think they would subside. One moment I'm ready to jump his bones then the next I hate him and don't want him to touch me. I just feel like he got his and tried a little bit for me so oh well I'm just not worth it and it was like 2 hours. And it really hurt my feelings that I started to cry. Its like he could careless. I swear I hate him! We've been together for 8 years july 10 2008 and been married ever since Feb 22 2006. I'm tired of not being important. We've tried everything!!!!!! I MEAN EVERYTHING! I just hate myself and every time it comes up I just don't want to do it because I already know how its gonna turn out. But I don't want him to go look somewhere else, so I offer him a "favor" and just not to touch me to get anything started because he knows he cannot fulfill my needs. Of course I do not shoot him down like that but I just simply say with the fakest smile " I'm fine; you can just get ours" What do I do? tried toys, videos, different positions and well use your imagination. I'm tired of it and told him tonight this was it for him to find a porn site and get him some magazines because I don't want him touching me,
Desparate & Fustrated!
Desparate & Fustrated!
My husband honestly found me attractive when I was pregnant and still thinks pregnant women are very sexy. He sees the stretch marks as a reminder of the love of us bringing our children into the world. He has nothing negative to say at all about me or my body. And like you I think I look pretty darned good for someone that has had 5 children. 5'4 and 120 lbs. Not too bad I guess.(tootin my own horn too)
As for men wondering if they are doing it right or feeling self concious about their appearance, I can only tell you about my husband since well he's been the only one.. And yes he does worry what I think of him and needs to know I find him sexy. He also refuses to "walk away" until I am satisfied.. Which can be frustrating since you know, sometimes you are just happy to make love, but don't necessarily NEED to climax.. Make sense? So I guess I am like one of the luckiest women in the world.. I have no idea how we got onto this subject.. Oh yeah, the eeky pudgy belly worry. I wonder if it is worse to us than it is to them since my hubby doesn't seem to notice. Like I said, I'm a lucky girl.. Sounds like you are too!
As for men wondering if they are doing it right or feeling self concious about their appearance, I can only tell you about my husband since well he's been the only one.. And yes he does worry what I think of him and needs to know I find him sexy. He also refuses to "walk away" until I am satisfied.. Which can be frustrating since you know, sometimes you are just happy to make love, but don't necessarily NEED to climax.. Make sense? So I guess I am like one of the luckiest women in the world.. I have no idea how we got onto this subject.. Oh yeah, the eeky pudgy belly worry. I wonder if it is worse to us than it is to them since my hubby doesn't seem to notice. Like I said, I'm a lucky girl.. Sounds like you are too!
ya know, it just occured to me...dont guys ever feel self conscious? what about their "size"? do they worry if they smell? do they get self conscious if we touch their love handles? do they wonder if they are doing it right? it never seems that way. maybe we are too busy worrying about ourselves that we dont notice??
I was just kidding ive already got those thoughts. I think your right though. Being a new relationhip i do worry about things like that. Especially sence is has been a long long while since ive been in a new relationship. anyway thanks again for your thoughts i really do apreciate it.
well my friend, you are way ahead of me and we are about the same age. i just have one little girl. my husband has seen it all (and i like to joke about giving birth and being on all 4's w. my johnny wide open for all, including him to see) and he's still w. me so thats love!! now thats humiliating. anyway, i do think its important to be able to let go during...you know...---. its just i feel sooo self conscoius and if i may toot my own horn, im not that bad looking. my hub does think that simply having a baby is attractive (unless he just says that to make me feel good and that the stretch marks remind him of the baby, bless his heart) but i am SOO worried when we are together that he's thinking ohh, feel the xtra fat here, whats this lump?, man, she feels big. or these boobs are for breastfeeding what am i doing?? i have always been thin but "not no more". im sure my worrying is the reason why "it" doesnt happen, but its okay, baby or no baby i have always been like this so i cannot blame it on the pregnancy. i could be 125 pounds and i would still find something ya know? maybe i could blame the ole gut on my grandmother, she has one. yeah, thats it, its hereditary!!
You are funny kjsk. I've been maried almost 18 years and had 5 children and trust me he's seen IT ALL! And now I have that eeky stomach thing creeping up on me and I HATE for him to see me naked now. Just makes me feel old and gross. So I know zactly whattcha mean. LOL
I was the same way with my husband before we got married. When we first started out I couldn't climax but once I got more closer to him it happens almost everytime now. It could be just the newness of the relationship.
nooo, thats not it. ive been w. my (husband now) for about 19 yrs. so "newness" is out. i also believe its about "letting go" and thinking, worrying so much about the "ole bod" ya know? esp. after having a baby and yer stomach hangs over. eek.
One more suggestion. Try placing a pillow under your hips. It changes the direction of the thrust and can give an awsome orgasm.
i hear ya there. i had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago and go for my exam on tues., hoping he will release me,i almost feel like a virgin again.
Actually, (if he's not too big), if he can push all the way in you (without it hurting of course) and your pubic bone can rub up against his pubic bone which might make you "O". Let me tell you, it works great for me. Just be careful though....if he's in too far, it's easy to hit the side wall of your vagina which doesn't feel too good. Might ruin the moment...Good Luck!
im just surprised you were able to climax in the first place during intercourse? maybe you can fill me in on how? i have been with my husband since i was 16 and am now 36...nothin'. oral sex in the past sometimes but not during intercourse. i guess i am not the only one though. many woman do not orgasm unless the clitoris is directly stimulated. maybe you could help yourself along while he is inside of you if ya know what i mean?
maybe you can try having him give some external stimulation during intercourse. IE a special toy (if you know what i mean) on your clitoris or manually .. that may help. most women have some issues climaxing with just intrnal penetration. Hope this helps
l
there are also creams and gels you can buy to help heat things up
l
there are also creams and gels you can buy to help heat things up
hi hippiechic, you can always try a little more forplay, and also try fantasizing about something really erotic, (like brad pitt, yummy).dont worry it will happen.
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