relationship troubles am i dumb for staying need responses fast

[jameslady]

okay heres the thing me and my fiance have been dating for 17 months now well tonight he pulled something he aint never done before he left me to go with his so called babymomma and it really hurt my feelings he told me hed be back but i still havent seen or heard from him but i want to be with him because i love him and cant stand being without him am i dumb for staying what should i do i trust him to the fullest and i know he aint gonna screw no one sorry for my french but if he dont come back tonight do u think he will come back tomorrow and should i let him please help im scared and worried about him

[jojo24]

I KNOW I'M LATE ON THE POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT SPEAKING FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS DATED MEN WITH CHILDREN, IF IT AIN'T HIM DROPPING OFF THE BABY OR PICKING THE BABY UP AND THAT BEING STRICTLY IT, THE CHANCES OF THEM REKINDLING OLD FLAMES IS HIGH.  THERE IS SOME SORT OF FAMILIARITY WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE KIDS.  THEY'VE SLEPT TOGETHER BEFORE AND HAD A CHILD TOGETHER WHY NOT?  NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS ALL BABY MAMAS AND DADDIES.  BUT IN MY OPINION, IF YOU ARE HIS FIANCE AND YOU MEAN THAT MUCH TO HIM WHEN HE HAS TO GET WITH HIS BABY'S MAMA FOR SOMETHING HE SHOULD WANT TO BRING YOU ALONG.  YOU ARE GOING TO BE PART OF THAT BABY'S LIFE TOO, SO WHY NOT? AND IF HE HASN'T RETURNED YET?  I WOULD SAY SOMETHING'S GOING ON.  HAS HE AT LEAST CALLED YOU?  I WOULD GIVE HIM THE OLE HEAVE HO IF I WERE YOU.  THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.  WHETHER YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 17 MONTHS OR 17 YEARS HE STILL HAS TO LEARN, AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY, BUT WOMEN ARE VERY RESILIANT.  YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT.

[happybaby23]

Did they bring the baby with them?  I wouldn't put up with it unless it had something to do directly with the baby.

[pixijal]

Let babymama keep him!!!!  If he loves you as much as you love him, why would he EVER put you in this position?  You can't live like this.....it will NEVER BE WORTH IT.  Get out, move on...you will soon realize there are a lot more out there!

[saphirechild]

Speaking as someone who has been in a similar situation, I would leave, or leave him. Don't waste your time with him. If you stay, he'll think that his behaviour is acceptable, and it's  not. It's a little naieve to think that he is going out with another woman this late a night unaccompanied and nothing will happen. I know it'll hurt but you have got to move on to someone who will treat you better. you deserve it!!!

[kenziesmom]

When you say babymomma, do you mean the mother of his baby?  Why was he going somewhere with her?

[lucylocket2]

First - why didn't u go with him?
second - you don't sound stupid, just someone with a very low self - esteem. I wouldn't sit there and wait. go somewhere. enjoy life - you only live once. do u want to live like this for ever? i don't think so! He doesn't sound like good husband materal.

[paranoidpatty]

Yeah, you need let us know the reason he left to go with his "babymama".  Was the child sick, birthday, etc?  If he told you I'm going out with the "babymama" or something like that then toss him to the curb!!  Believe me, he'll respect you a lot more.  Like the other women said, if he gets away with it once, he'll do it again and again.  Sit down and have a talk about what the boundaries are in the relationship. Since you are his fiance, there is no reason you can't try and foresee the drama that's about to get worse the closer you get to your marriage.  Remember, she may be miserable herself and hate the fact that you two are getting married.  Or he may still have feelings for her.  Find out!!

[AnnieBrooke]

If babymama wants him back, she will pull every trick in the book to get him back.  This is not a recipe for anything but tears and woe for you not just now but through your whole marriage, because the kid has rights to have a dad, so she'll always be around.  Even a man with good intentions can be gotten to if he is in a weak moment.  Honey, respect yourself.  Don't take a crumb when you can have the cake.  Look for someone decent, even if he is not so flashy.  You will be so much happier.

[socgirl]

in your post you say you trust him, but you obviously don't if you're posting these concerns you have.  Go with your gut feeling.....maybe post-pone the wedding until you are sure he's the right one.  Dating a guy with baggage such as his "babymomma" is never easy and just because of the fact that he has a child with this other woman, he's connected to her until the child is at least 18, weather you like it or not.  It's not going to change....and you need to decide if you can accept that this woman will be a part of his life, at least to some degree, for the next several years.  If you can't accept that....then start singing "...hit the road jack...and don't come back no more, no more, no more...."  Best of luck to you.

[Red_Rose]

I think we need to know the reason he gave u for going before we can fully judge. At the same time, if u tell him ur leaving him it may make him change. Or maybe just turn up at where they are and see if u can 'catch' them. If he truely loved u Im sure u wouldnt even question things unles uve been hurt in the past? If he took the baby with him that prob dont mean anything but if they didnt somethings definately up!