First off: I don't do drugs, drink any alcohol, or cut myself. I used to be pretty popular, but now my friends seem distant. I’m having trouble concentrating, but my grades haven’t dropped. I feel like I have been acting cold, and I cry over little things now. I feel sad often, but I’m not sure why. I'm not suicidal, but I have had some thoughts about what would happen if I did die. I would never commit it though, that’s just wasting life. I don't go out anymore at all. I never call and barely text my friends. I used to want to apply to a competitive college, but now I think I would just get rejected, and I should probably settle for less (even though I have had all A’s my entire life). I haven’t done any activities I used to enjoy. They don’t seem fun now. I sleep A LOT now. My eating habits haven't changed all that much, but my weight has been fluctuating a lot (dropped 7 pounds in about a month, gained some, dropped it, etc. I used to be 107 pounds… now I’m 99.5) I can’t ask for help from my family, they would just think I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Whenever I cry they just tell me to suck it up and that I have no reason to. I am more anti social now, but I still do talk to people. I have waited a while and this hasn’t just gone away. A doctor won’t help.
Tomorrow is my 16th birthday, and I am not having a party or hanging out with friends. I’ve kind of pushed my friends away and whenever I mention my birthday my parents ignore it. I don’t really know what to do. And I also have school tomorrow, so I am going to have homework also. What should I do? I have been depressed since I was about in 8th grade (it has been gradually getting worse) and now that it is my birthday tomorrow and I just realized how alone I feel. How do you think I can feel better and how do you think I can spend my birthday alone?