I just wanted to let you know my experience with back pain. Six years ago I was in agony from a herniated disk in my upper back. I was given vicodin for the pain. I am not an addict, but the vicodin didn't help the pain at all, just made me drowsy and in pain.  I felt like being soo tired made the pain even worse to bear. Nothing helped the agony, sitting, standing, walking, any position was just unbearable. I took about 23 advil a day for about a year. I'm suprised my liver could handle that. I was scheduled for replacement disk from a cadaver(YUCK). I went to my job elated about the upcoming surgery, much to the horror of my coworkers. They begged me to try an accupuncturist.I had no faith what-so-ever that this could possibly work. I agreed to try it,canceled the surgery. Some people experience relief after a few treatments. I did not. My treatment took about 6 months starting out at 3 times a week then down to once a week. I have no more pain. I still have some numbness in my arms and hands and don't appreciate a back rub. I still wasn't convinced that I could attribute the healing to the accupuncture,but after my pain was gone I went back for a touch-up, when the doc inserted the needle in my head, I felt a surge of electricity go down and sizzle in the herniated disk area. WOW. Hope you have insurance to cover accupuncture. I am now a beleiver. I have since switched jobs and my current insurance doesn't cover this treatment. It's worth a try. Hope you had a better day today, if not hang in there til tommorrow.

Don't beat yourself up so much over that 1/2 pill.  You must have needed it for your pain.  I was taking vics for pleasure only and didn't understand how hard it must be to want to quit, but still need them for pain also.  It does get better.  I went cold turkey from vicodin and lived.  I think that is what your taking by your on screen name.  I felt terrible for a couple weeks.  The first week was bad, but somehow I made it - only missed work 1/2 day and am taking care of my 7 year old grand daughter.  If you have to go to the ER so what, go - who cares what your doctor will think.  Eventually he will know what is going on anyhow.  Keep your head up and keep the fight up.  Your doing OK, I took 1/2 pill one day and it did nothing for me buzz wise anyhow and I didn't get down on myself for it.  1/2 pill vs 4 each day was nothing.  The lying and spending money on them like crazy, not to mention the legal aspects if I were to get caught buying them finally scared me enough to do it.  Wishing you all the luck and prayers I can send.

Honey....first off I know exactly how you feel.  I am also prescribe Klonipin for anxiety - but it doesn't do s**t when you are in withdrawal.  

I wish I could convince you to get some help.  I know you are fearful of your Dr finding out thru ER, but they are bound by the same HIPPA rules as any doc.  If you don't want the info released, they can't release it.  You have to sign a paper giving them the right too.  And if your doc does find out, its ok.  I think everyone here who has sought help will tell you that the doc says "why didn't you call me sooner, I could help".  Having your doctor know is a lot better than suffering or having your son seeing you suffer.  Please, I'm not trying to chastise you, I am just trying to encourage you get help.  Please.

Wow Vicaddict - I hate to hear about your prediciment.  Get your fingers on a few pills and try to taper off them, cold turkey nearly always ends in failure.  

Shave a bit off the pills every day and before long, they'll be nothing left to shave and you'll be off them.  

I was able to get in to see my Dr, but soonest is Monday. I called and thought maybe I could speak directly to him. My kids are gone for the weekend, so that is a plus. Dr.'s appoiintment reads I am coming in for pain med probelms. Not worded like that I am sure but.
I am though thinking about going to the Er, but I have a couple problems with that too.
I have no car at this time...and my best friend whom lives next door to me would be who would either A take me or B let me take the car. She already knows ( thinks) I have the flu. I just am almsot ready to tell her everything even if she walks away.

So I am torn between a few obsticles, and it should all be so simple. It just seems so hard.
So, I did make the apt., I do know wholeheartidly I want off of these, and as I said have only taken a half of the 3 I had left. Hard as hell, as I keep dwelling, walk to the bottle walk away, non stop. But If I can do that for 24hrs, I know my body can keep doing it. I do have the 2 1/2 left if I need a breakthrough..but I have them all in halfs in case. I know I do not want to go back to this once I have it conquored. That much I know. I have never hit w/d before, and now I have. I have always found a way to get them. Which I could now as well, I am trying my damnest not to touch that phone.
I am going to tell my dr everything...but I am sure he is going to figure it out that the "safe" 3xs a day he had me on turned into 8-10/day. I am ashamed of that but I know I need HIS help with this. No doubt in my mind. He has always been understanding, and has worried about this happeneing but he limited my supply after a while, and no refills for 14 days firm. So I think maybe he already knows, and is waiting for me to figure it out??? I don't know but I do know I am going to tell him Monday if not sooner with an ER doc. Our docs here as so rude, anytime I have been in the ER they have never been nice, that fear is in my mind also. Thank you hun for your post!
I appreciate all of you offering me advice, and I know that your advice along with gips, is the right way to go.

Hey Tb;
Thanks for your post...thatr is also an option as I said in my other post. I am pretty sure I can do it that way...as so far in 24 hours I only took a hlaf of my pill. Took the edge off for a short time. So yeah I have that possibility too, and I am certain I can hold to it. Then see my Dr on monay for sure. Appt is made.

Thank you for your input!

I will let you all know what I am doing, keep you all updated. As right here is where I need to be right now, with everyone who understands.

Thank you again.

You people are just amazing! The support here is phenominal. The choice I have made to tell my Dr. I have got to say is thanks to you all. I know I must tell him, and will tell him on Monday.

In a way I cannot wait for that apt. the other half of me is really scared to admit this to him. However, like I said he I think already knows. He has said in the past he did not want me on these long term, and I have always convinced him to give more. The mri's do not lie, he knows I have the pain. But now I have this **** ontop of that.

I have decided I am not going to beat myself up over a half of pill, or as far today the 2 halfs I took. I am not as uncomfortable as I was when this first all started last night. My goal is that my body will re-adjust to this lesser amount, and the w/d will pass easier. Like you said Gip..it sure does feel as if you are just going to fade away. Now that I know what full w/d feels like (actually probably was only partial, but enough to scare the hell out of me) I am way more than certain these are no more for me. I do not want them anymore. I never want to have to feel this way again. There has to be something else I can safely take, and have the pain bearable w/o these types of drugs. Gip I am so proud of you!!! I cannot wait till I can come in here and say I am totally clean of these things. Although, which this may sound really stupid?..But I feel proud just at the little I have done so far within the past 24hours. Definately not a jump for joy, but proud that I did do it, and that I feel alot more like I can do it finally. That is teh greatest feeling of all I think. Gip, and the rest of you who have actually survived this, hats off to you. You really need to be proud of yourselves, I honestly mean it! Love you all!

Thanks hun..yeah Im looking at it that way also. NOW that I KNOW fully with all my heart and sole I do not want to go back to this, or feel this way ever again. Plus as you said the money I have spent for extra, and the things that could have happened to my kids if I had been caught is enough there. But yet, we dont think of all that at the time.

Looking at everything full picture, this is what I must do. Like you said..that hlf pill wasn;t for any buzz, and suprisingly I am ok with that! It is simply helping me keep the worst of these w/ds at bay.
Right now my concern is, to A if I have to..use a half of pill maybe even twice a day if I have to. But I am not going for that buzz effect. Don't want that now. What I do want, is to be comfortbale meaning A the pain in my back to subside, and to not have to have the want for more pills, IE: 8-10 a day for the hell of it. Insane when I look back. Reading all my posts too, through the past week is an eye opener. My dr appointment is MOnday and I am fessing up the whole deal. See what he can offer me, as I know I need something for my back pain, however I do not want the vics anymore. And nothing that could potentially silently get me hooked again. Once they are completely out of my system, will be a day of joy for me. Not to metnion a huge accomplishment. Thank you hun for your insight! Appreciated!

What I am hopeing for and please if I am setting up for failure let me know.

Once I can stay at a steady taper..so far so good yet today! VS what my body was taking in, eventually if I keep that taper going...they will be able to flush out more easily? Correct?
Like say this..I went from 8-10/day to say 2 a day. By halfs that is, if need be. Then go down even more, the w/d should not be what it is now, as if going cold turkey. I would be allowing my body to re-adjust to lower levels, then completely off.
Again just a qn, not sure if I will do that or not as I said this half I took so far is holding it's own or is just in my mind. Either way it is helping. When I go to Dr on Monday I will tell him as well everything I have tried and or trying.

But this beats how I felt this morning. I am sure it won't last, but for now I am content.

Thanks again everyone.

I'm so proud of you!  Your going to come clean and the doc will help you find something else to use for pain....he will and you will feel so much better.  My grand daughter...looking at her really put me in my place.  Her dad is an addict and I am and have been all she has had since 6 months old. Her mom is not in the picture and as far as I'm concerned never will be again.  I can't even think about the cops coming to my door to arrest me for a controlled buy or something, that's what I call Scared Straight!
Good luck my friend, your going to make it because now you are going to be honest and forthcoming with not only your doctor but yourself.

No, I don't think your setting yourself up for failure.  I think your setting yourself up to be vic free!  Keep your head up, and your plan sounds just dandy to me.  I wish I would have had some to taper, but I was broke and sick of being broke over pills - so I took my last one and stayed away from everybody.  No phone nothing.  If your kids are going to be gone for the weekend, that is great it will give you more time and you won't feel so bad from not being totally there for them.  I couldn't do much of anything, but laydown as much as possible and I was freezing, so I had a heater next to me at my desk at work. Heck I live where it is cold in the Upper Peninsula so nobody thought anything of me being cold.   Ok, I'm getting carried away now.  haha

I am with you. I am reading your every word and I am proud of you.  You make me cry with hope, cry with envy, and just cry because this sucks so much to live like this.

No need to be ashamed... you are doing the best you know how...two more days and you'll be over the worst of it... honestly....

I know it's miserable.  And no w/d from Vics is damned uncomfortable but it is one of the few drugs you can C/T and not worry about dying.  Although you might feel as though you want to.

I know you have anxiety meds...Take them while detoxing and try to sleep through the worst of it.. by Monday you can talk to the Dr. about them after you are in the clear.   But think about this.. by MONDAY ... you will have gone through the worst part of the DETOX process.. it will be downhill after that...

Think about the $$ you'd spend at the Street Pharmacy and think of something you really want.. spend the money on that instead.

Now missey... If I can do this... so can you.   So can ANYone... I am the ultimate whiner ....

Good Luck sweetie
Wishing you good things
Gip