Hey I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story with me, it cannot be easy living with a meth head, i did that for 15 years, if you need to talk my email is ***@****
Jennifer

Oh yeah, we have 2 kids. 2 boys ages 11 and 6. The oldest son has seen his dad cheat and leave me over and over again. He has sworn that he will not be like that to any girl. I have tried to raise them with that mentality too. Theyve seen how bad its hurt me and our family over and over again.

I am on all kinds of different meds. I take 10 mg hydros, 6 a day, and avinza 120 mg a day. (its a long acting morphine pill)
I also take cymbalta, geodon, and amitriptalyn for my anger and depression. (bipolar..yay..not!!!) I also take requip for restless leg syndrome.

The doctors want to do an mri, they think that I may have MS. I do have alot of the symptoms, but I dont think I could deal with another diagnosis of something. I am beginning to hate drs because everytime I go they come up with something new.

OMG I am so sorry for you and all that you have been through. I guess I am not alone on here. Wow, three years. Are you taking any pain meds for it? I am done with them for good. Throughout all that happend last year I started taking way to many to help me make it through the day emotionally. All I did was sit here and take vics and eat. I gained 20 lbs. I already weighed 180 so that was really hard. I have lost 5 of it though from not eating again while going thru w/d's. I think the reason why we keep these men in our lives is for some type of security. I don't think of myself as very pretty at all. So when this gorgous man came into my life in 2005 I was awestruck. He always made me feel so much better about myself, complementing me on how pretty I was and when I lost my first job he kept telling me you can do it, you can get another one. Well, I did and I had to quit because of pain, etc. He even taught me how to ride a quad and a motorcycle. That was so much fun. But in October of 2006 I could hear that he was tiring of me and we ended up breaking up. Wow, okay enough of that! Do you have any children with the man? I just feel so low to be at the age of 38 single, lost all of my friends through the loss of the job and the ex,and starting my LIFE OVER!

Yea I know about the new pains in the body and all of the thing that you weren't feeling before.... Buggzz is on day 7 and I thing youmightwanna read some of bugzzes posts.  Just remember to come back here and write whatever you want cause some of us are praying!

wow!

Hey there. I posted this way down below, but I figured that you wouldnt get it down there so Im reposting it here.

I know exactly how that is. I was diagnosed with all this **** I have about 3 years ago. I had been having trouble and symptoms for probably 3-4 years before that though. My husbnd also got tired of dealing with me. I gained about 100 pounds cuz I couldnt work, or move because of the pain. I got really depressed...yadda yadda yadda. You know how it is. Anyways all i heard from him was 'you arent any fun anymore'
Well Im sorry that I feel like dog **** and I hurt, is what I would tell him. Needless to say he ended up leaving me for someone a couple years younger, alive and alot thinner!!! I totally crashed!! I got majorly depressed. I mean even more than I already had been. The docs sent me to therapy, well while in there I suffered a personality something disroder. They said that my mind and body could not handle all of the stress so it decided to take a vacation. I was like WHAT THE HELL IM GOING CRAZY. I couldnt believe that I was losing grip with reality, but it was happening. I cant for the life of me remember exactly what they called it, its on the tip of my tongue though.

Anyways he found out that she was not what he wanted. Came back, I took him back, it happened again a year later, I took him back again, we got divorced, and like a dummy, here we are together again...only not married. Why is it that when we are at our lowest we are at our most vulnerable and men seem to know this? For some reason I can not let go of him...we only get along about 85% of the time too. It makes no sense to me, but at the same time, it feels right. Im messed up in the head I know...I will shut up now.

Nice to meet you both!!! Hope ya are doing well today...I am not..I am in so much pain I called into work, and I can hardly move my arms or legs. It sucks big time, I hate fibromyalgia!!!

Hi there,
I,too am a desertgirl..what desert are you in/from?!

I can identify with you...I've had some pretty bad years over the many that I have behind me!  I had the "stamp" or "curse" as I call it put on me when I was very young, 8 years old. I've had super painful migraines and had no medication until I was 28.  Long story short...I finally got rid of the pain for the first time 40 years ago with codeine...but you know what...in the past 5 years I'm taking it heavier now than ever!  Although by reading and sticking with this forum, I've learned so much and have been able to pull back from them...I am taking Fiorinal AND Fioricet, nothing else helps, believe me I've been on it all.  With all the bad years I've had, headaches more frequent, codiene more frequent!
Part of life is learning to deal with the bad as well as with the good.  But 2 years ago, I lost my very best friend of 25 years, to breast cancer and that really through me for a loop.  Not only that but 4 others have passed away that meant so much to me in the past 5 years, one of those being my dear doctor of 40 years, that I could depend on for any and all help.  On top of that I'm now retired and home with a man I'm trying to get to know again..we dated in high school for 4 years before we were married...so guess you can say we have known and been together for almost 50 years.  I have taken care of all my sick and aged family since 1974 and worked and raised children, saw them through college and marriages. It's a wonder I'm still sane being on lots of codiene, but I persevered and made it.  
I'm telling you all this so you will have faith, Desertgirl, faith in yourself to get over the hard times!  You can do it!  If I can, you can!  All of you, I have waited a long time to post and I give you ALL...a 100% in effort!  I wish I'd had you all these years!  Good luck and God Bless you all.
Hang in....CAN

Amitriptyline is what used to be called "Elavil" and is a great way to get off the hydros... it's like lights out at night.... it is an anti-depressant... and at least for me it's great for sleep... everbody is different and Paxil made me stay up all night... or so it seemed....!! I get jumpy leg syndrome if I do too much antihystimine and If I take too much Amitriptline it's the same thing... This site is a good place to vent.  I'm glad you're here!

thanks for letting me vent and thanks for all of the support, i suddenly feel very tired, i guess it was good to get all of that out. lol. cantoo your tough hang in there and i live in the mojave desert in california, where are you at?

I'm in Phoenix....for many years.  Grew up in Michigan.
Thanks for letting me vent too...I have no one to talk to any longer about my past, no one wants to hear me.  My dear friend that passed away from breast cancer was 17 years younger than I but she was very mature and I am somewhat immature (young in mind, LOL) and we met in the middle.  We had a ball for 25 years, my husband traveled with his job, her husband worked nights.  She was in Human Resources, so when one job would disappear, she'd get me another...we always tried to work together....God, I miss her so much! :(

Thanks for lending an ear....first time I've talked about this since I gave her eulogy....2 yrs. ago.
CAN