Aa
trading addictions
I'm learning a lot about myself lately. Whether subconsciously or not, there is now no doubt in my mind that I traded an active alcohol addiction for an active morphine addiction.
I noticed last fall that, when taking the morphine, I really didn't want to drink. The morphine lit me up pretty good most of the time, so I gave up the alcohol with no trouble at all. I also knew that I had a limited supply of the morphine and, once it ran out, I knew I would try to be off of the morphine and the alcohol for good.
Although there was still a small supply that I could "borrow" from, I took my last 1/2 pill (50 mg) a month ago this afternoon. The acute w/d phase was intense, but time passed anyway. The post-acute w/d is still present (foggy, lethargy, etc.), but time keeps passing.
Yesterday, I had an opportunity to snatch up a few thousand milligrams but didn't. I guess I passed my first real TEST of my recovery. The acute w/ds are still fresh in my mind. I hope they always will be.
The strong cravings for a pill or a drink are not present right now, and for that I thank God.
Happy Monday,
Scott
day 28
I noticed last fall that, when taking the morphine, I really didn't want to drink. The morphine lit me up pretty good most of the time, so I gave up the alcohol with no trouble at all. I also knew that I had a limited supply of the morphine and, once it ran out, I knew I would try to be off of the morphine and the alcohol for good.
Although there was still a small supply that I could "borrow" from, I took my last 1/2 pill (50 mg) a month ago this afternoon. The acute w/d phase was intense, but time passed anyway. The post-acute w/d is still present (foggy, lethargy, etc.), but time keeps passing.
Yesterday, I had an opportunity to snatch up a few thousand milligrams but didn't. I guess I passed my first real TEST of my recovery. The acute w/ds are still fresh in my mind. I hope they always will be.
The strong cravings for a pill or a drink are not present right now, and for that I thank God.
Happy Monday,
Scott
day 28
Congratulations on Day 28. It only gets better and the benefits keep surfacing.
If I could offer a suggestion by way of my experience.
I too held onto a small stash of pills through W/D. When sleep became my major problem I realized how dangerous it was to keep those pills around.
So, my wife and I prepared a wonderful dinner and invited my "stash" to be guests of honor. After the meal, we went into the bathroom and flushed the pills down the toilet.
I am sure there were some pretty happy fish in San Francisco Bay the next morning. And, I was happy that all temptation was gone plus I was finally totally free of those pills.
Cordially,
GEORGE
Week 9 C/T
If I could offer a suggestion by way of my experience.
I too held onto a small stash of pills through W/D. When sleep became my major problem I realized how dangerous it was to keep those pills around.
So, my wife and I prepared a wonderful dinner and invited my "stash" to be guests of honor. After the meal, we went into the bathroom and flushed the pills down the toilet.
I am sure there were some pretty happy fish in San Francisco Bay the next morning. And, I was happy that all temptation was gone plus I was finally totally free of those pills.
Cordially,
GEORGE
Week 9 C/T
You inspire me at day 28!!! I am at day 8 and look to all of your for your daily triumphs and words of encouragement.
I really understand what your going through,Im at the same place Day 21 for me and i have not been sober this long in many years. i just keep reminding myself that i dont have to be controlled by anything anymore. congrats on day 28 hang in there and stay strong, your friend Clay TX
Hey, thanks for the words!
I guess I should clarify that I don't and never have had the pills on me since I stopped taking them - you must have mistaken me for someone with willpower! They are in someone else's possession and I had the opportunity (like so many times before) to steal them. This would have forever been the last of them, however, and their missingness may be noticed at some point. I want to just take them and throw them in the trash or tell that someone that I've been taking them and to get them away from me, but it's still my dirty little secret and mine alone.
I guess I should clarify that I don't and never have had the pills on me since I stopped taking them - you must have mistaken me for someone with willpower! They are in someone else's possession and I had the opportunity (like so many times before) to steal them. This would have forever been the last of them, however, and their missingness may be noticed at some point. I want to just take them and throw them in the trash or tell that someone that I've been taking them and to get them away from me, but it's still my dirty little secret and mine alone.
Congradulations on day 28...Thats soooo, awesome!! Im so proud of you, look where you've come...All that way...
I have a suggestion too....Write down what if feels like to wd......keep it someplace where you can always access it.....
Unfortuantly...We dont always remember what its like to clean up...we soon forget alot of times...So just in case..you have some back up...Right...
Anywyas, Go celerbrate.....Treat yourself with your best something...You so deserve it.....
I have a suggestion too....Write down what if feels like to wd......keep it someplace where you can always access it.....
Unfortuantly...We dont always remember what its like to clean up...we soon forget alot of times...So just in case..you have some back up...Right...
Anywyas, Go celerbrate.....Treat yourself with your best something...You so deserve it.....
Thank you all for your kind words! The people of this forum are a huge reason for my initial success.
As far as writing down how the w/d felt / feels, I have done a little of that but not enough and should really make it a comprehensive compilation. Thanks oxysbliss!
As far as writing down how the w/d felt / feels, I have done a little of that but not enough and should really make it a comprehensive compilation. Thanks oxysbliss!
Hey Scott. Lost in my own world, I forgot to congratulate you on 28 days. Nicely done!
You must be past the physical, but how's the mental part going? I don't know your history, as today's the first time I've logged on, but were you trying to quit for a long time? LIke you were over it mentally, and just wanted the physical to end?
Elliemaejo
You must be past the physical, but how's the mental part going? I don't know your history, as today's the first time I've logged on, but were you trying to quit for a long time? LIke you were over it mentally, and just wanted the physical to end?
Elliemaejo
How you distance yourself from the pills may be different than mine, but I think we both realize the danger of having access to a stash during recovery. It is just too easy to "see if just one pill would hurt" when you have access to pills.
You know what must be done and you said it:
"...tell that someone that I've been taking them and to get them away from me"
That comments tells me you instinctively know that once you do tell that someone, you will NEVER look back and your recovery will progress.
Cordially,
GEORGE
Week 9 C/T
You know what must be done and you said it:
"...tell that someone that I've been taking them and to get them away from me"
That comments tells me you instinctively know that once you do tell that someone, you will NEVER look back and your recovery will progress.
Cordially,
GEORGE
Week 9 C/T
Thanks, and you're right. I'm just not strong enough right now to fess up. I know recovery is a process and that I'm still in the infant stage ...
Thanks!
I was on morphine (for fun) for about 6 months, and was over 300 mg/day by February. I knew I had to quit because my supply was basically used up, so I did. The physical part of w/d was difficult and certainly lasted over 2 weeks for me. My head (mental state) still feels a bit foggy, but right now there are no effects that really inhibit my ability to function normally. All in all I'm feeling pretty good - the mental part is not even really there anymore.
I was on morphine (for fun) for about 6 months, and was over 300 mg/day by February. I knew I had to quit because my supply was basically used up, so I did. The physical part of w/d was difficult and certainly lasted over 2 weeks for me. My head (mental state) still feels a bit foggy, but right now there are no effects that really inhibit my ability to function normally. All in all I'm feeling pretty good - the mental part is not even really there anymore.
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