i am so glad you talked to your dad...OMG...the money spent is unreal...my insurance has never paid for rehab so that has been out of pocket...but that is nothing compared to the heartache i've suffered knowing that there was nothing i could do to help until they wanted to help themselves...i just wanted to fix it for them...like putting a bandaid on their boo boos.

my son that is a meth addict is in jail right now...again.  i don't think he will ever get clean and it rips my heart out knowing that i have done all that i can.  this drug will take his life and i am not ready to deal with that.  how do you bury your own child?  i think about this all the time...just waiting for that call.

your response literally brought tears to my eyes.  I just can't imagine the pain you deal with.  It is one thing to be an addict yourself but your kids?  That has to hurt worse.  I would take the pain of addiction and getting clean any day over having my child in that positon.  Like you said, they have to want to stop and as a parent all you want to do is protect them and take away their pain.  To be helpless has to be killing you.  I am very glad you are here because you need just as much support and love as anyone else.
I will pray for your sons and for you.

you two are something.  I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself, and you two have so much courage.  I admire you so much for telling your dad.  I hope he will be supportive to  you.  You deserve that, and a fathers love should be with arms always open.  He wants you to be well and happy and whole.

Lizzie you put such a perspective on things.  I have created so much pain and now watch my son creating the same pain for himself.  I hate that,,,and then I feel like I don't have the right to challenge him  on it.  What a great parent...what an excuse....I shouldn't care what i have done, I am the mom and he can learn from me.  It would make so much sense..except I am the addict in charge here.  Pretty scary.

thank you for posting.  It's gonna be a long night...i pray my ex shows in court in am...i need to move on...new place...new state even.  i'm outa here after this three year disaster of a divorce is over.  i'm tired and like i said earlier i am so so so tired of fallin down.

keep the spirit going!

You know, your a stong person to have to go through all that sh@@.  And yet you still have the will and strength to go on and keep helping them.  You go to the other side and dont judge.  Its a hard thing to swallow knowing that I will probably have to go through the same thing when my kids grow up.  They probably have the gean.  Its a frightening thing knowing that there is not one thing that you can do to make it better.  Its got to be awful to remember when they are babies all you had to do was get a bottle and rock them and they were fine, and then growing up give them advice when they are down.  And then know, knowing that you have to trust the man upstairs because there is not a damn thing that you can do.  The best thing you can do for the one is jail is probably NOTHING.  That scares me and saddens me, but thats the way it goes, thats life.  On the other hand, what a great relationship you have with your sons, Kim, that is awesome that they love you so much to to put your chicken dance for the whole world to see on you tube.  Thats love.. And I think in the end thats what its all about,,Your a good mom no matter what will happen.  You will always have the knowledge strength and love to fight this addiction to the end.  What a beatiful mom you are to sit and talk to addicts and try to understand so you can help them and yourself.  Pretty lucky kids, and please tell them that I said that,, Ok, getting to sappy, go to read some post,, luv ya girl, G

Thank you for the support!  On thursday I am going to take my son and we are going to stay at my parent's house and I am going to go c/t and really quit for the first time ever.  They said they will do WHATEVER it takes to get me clean.  I am so fortunate for their support.  At the same time, I have so much guilt and self-hate for the hell I have put them through.  I owe it to them to get off drugs...it is the only way I feel like I can pay them back.  
Good luck in court tomorrow.  I know how stressful those things can be and especially if you are running "low", that could just about kill a person (okay, well, at least me, lol).  I'll be thinking about you!

I wanted to say that I commend you on telling your dad about your addiction.  It takes a lot of guts to do that girl.. You are on the right track,, You sound like you are doing great moving in the right direction.  It seems like you got a lot of serenity out of doing that,, I cannot imagine being Lizzie either, but, you have a step on her, you are putting a arrest on your addictions and you know the possible signs to look for early.. I say, stop and give yourself a pat on the back,, You are doing wonderful,, Peace, G

Thank you so much for your support!  And it was difficult to tell my parents...it is still hard to talk about it but I do feel a HUGE relief!  I am not nearly as scared of quitting and going c/t, which is what I am going to do.
I know damn well I am powerless of these drugs and I told them (among other reasons) so that there would be someone to hold me accountable and because I feel like I needed to do something "drastic" that would push me in the right direction.  
You all have helped to give me this courage as well.  I can't even begin to thank you!

thats great that you told your dad, I found so much support from my mom when i told her.even after i have lied, stolen and deceived her.she even took me to get on suboxone.And still she supports me.She actully wants to spend time w/my family now.I hope your dad is as helpful as my family has been,you deserve your life back. hope and prayers Clay TX