chained by methadone

Question

My son has been on methadone for 2and a half years after three or four years of heroine addiction. He has been in treatment and half ways houses only to return to herone. He  nearly died several times,has stolen from us as well as other members of our family. He has wrecked three cars and is a chronic liar. He comes from a loving home and a solid Christian background. He has been supported by parents caring parents and has supportive siblings. He started methadone several years ago in order to regain a semilance of some kind of life. He is using 220mg a day at the cost of $12.00 per dose. He can never be without a "serious" girlfriend because he does not like being alone. He has always loved the ladies and has hurt many great girls because he cannot stay faithful to just one. He works for his dad and has a substantial paycheck but has no ambition to further his education by going to college. He has not only been dosing with methadone but abuses alcohol. Although the methadone has kept him off the street, he is terrified of coming off it. His dad talks to him almost daily about structuring a schedule to enable him to set a goal of comig off it by stepping down his dosage a little at a time but he won't even consider it. He says the methadone is "killing him" and I am at my wits end because I cannot get through to him either. I am worried for his life. This has been a nightmare!!!! Please, someone give me some suggestions on what to do.

Addicts Mom · Answer

I Love Your name. It' s a very cleaver play on words, my husbands favorite!
Thanks for filling me in on the C/T. I have a hard time reading some comments b/c (how's that) they are coded.Thanks for the advice. I know he has to come to terms with it in his own time. You know how a mom always wants to make things better though? I'm afraid for his life. Yes, I have two other children. One is married with a family, and the other two aren't married. No one lives with us at the present, but I have gone through "empty nest" several times b/c they have all moved back one time or another. My two beautiful grandchildren remind me that life goes on and I have alot to be thankful for. Yes, I think all my children get along well. They have gotton closer lately b/c of  drugs (sounds strange, I know). This time, instead of tearing the family apart, it drew us all closer together. Good question, Mis Take! It made me think through alot and add another thing to my thankful list today. I wish you well out there, all of you in withdrawal. You are doing the right thing and your life will be so much better when you attain your goal. My prayers are with you.
Love
Addicts Mom

Addicts Mom · Answer

What you had to say is very true. He is out of control in so many areas of his life it seems. I guess I just focus on the drug but you are right, there is so much more he needs to work on before he can get this monkey off his back. We tried counselling but he did't follow through. It is so hard as a mom to feel like you can't help your child. I am scared of what the outcome of this will be for him if he continues down this path, and I feel so helpless. Thanks for your counsel! GOD BLESS YOU TOO!

tammyk_40 · Answer

your son is not in control of his own life. its out of control because of his lifestyle. methadone is there for people who need it. most meth patients are productive members of society. he needs some structure. if he wasnt on the methadone, hed probably be on the streets and god knows what else. my point is, its not the methadone, its a behavioral problem he has. i hope that he can open his mind to change. GOD BLESS  Tammy

Addicts Mom · Answer

Thanks for yours response. I haven't read anything about the how hard the withdrawal is up to a few months ago. I had it in my head since it was legal and he had a life instead of shooting up and not being able to keep a job, it would the best thing for him. I am finding out a little more about it and it scares me to death. It is terriable that it is legal!!

sosad5306 · Answer

He MUST want to get off drugs...until then, please do not blame yourself.  He has to do it.  From a song..." Nothin comes easy....you gotta try real, real hard.....I tired hard, but I guess I gotta try harder:  See my post below for full lyrics (I tried) I will say now if u want to know what he is going thru, that is is.
Love and peace,
J

demon child · Answer

ur welcome.the physical isnt even the hardest part.the mental part is what will get him.deep down i know he knows whats right and he wants a better life but u hear all these horriable things.i would tell the nurses at the clinic that i wanted to stop c/t all of them same response.DONT DO IT.id love to go back in the future and throw it in their face.it can be done.the actual withdrawl wasnt as bad as expected but i did think after3/4 days id feel better and when i didnt i was having quite a bit of weak moments i held in there and now, i went camping this weekend with my boys and had a great time.i had a few drinks but no opiods which is my problem.every day im feeling stronger and better.has he ever considered dropping down off of it?every 3 days i dropped from 200 to 90 by 10mgs.they will wean u off of it at the clinics.i just got to the point where enough was enough.it would sicken me i wanted to be sober not many at the clinics want to.up my dose is what i usually hear.or people selling it whatever the case standing on line like an animal waiting to get dosed it just was getting to be to much.i deserve better.we all do.u should have him log on to the site.hes not alone.

Addicts Mom · Answer

Thanks, you're a great one to talk with. Yes, he has thought of stepping down his dosage, but is too scared. I talked with him about saboxone but he is not responsive to that. He has heard from other sources that it is not what they say it's cracked up to be. As I said before, his dad wanted to make him a chart where he could start stepping down a little at a time and have a date in mind that he would focus on where he would be clean. For some reason he is reluctant to do it. I guess he is afraid of the pain. I have offered to help him through it, but he still does not want my help or his dad's. It scares me that he is using alcohol so much too. I am sorry, this is new to me, what does c/t mean. It seems like everyone is using that term. It sounds like you are doing great and I'm proud of you and your determination and strength. Hang in there, you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Thanks again, Addicts Mom

Mis Take · Answer

HI!  I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that I think you are a great Mom and Im sure your son thinks that as well.  He will do the right thing in time, just don't force the issue or he may pull away if he's not ready.  You sound a lot like me with the initial thing.  C/T means cold turkey.  Hope that helps and I hope you have a great night!  BTW(by the way) Do you have other children, do they live with you and are they supportive of the other one.  Just wondering.  Talk to you soon. 

Love, Mistake

demon child · Answer

i was in a very similar situation but im the addict.its been 11days i went cold turkey off my methadone.i was up to 200mg pregnant. tapered down to 90mg a couple months after i had my son.i was an heroin/pill user for 3yrs before that.i will be honest methadone is by far the hardest thing ive had to kick.plus its long acting it can take between 24/56 hrs just to leave your system.the hard part is its legal.its not like a street drug the govt gives it to u .in ny its free.so its can be justified in ones head well at least im not shooting dope.i think its a set up.its one of the devils greatest tricks.u cant make him stop.he has to do it for himself.

chained by methadone

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