Hey.
I'm sorry but " I am a bit of trash can" that was funny!
I was too.  I can be mentally as well.
Alcoholicsm and drug use doesn't just run inmy family, it gallops and  I knew I was introuble when I started drinking at 16.  Ijust couldn't drink like others did and I never understood it.  Then I started with the coke, which in all honesty, was just to keep me up so I could drink more.  I drank that way until I was 28 years old.  
I never got into a car accident, never got arrested, never got evicted, but those are all "yets" for me.  I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and said to myself "I'm either going to kill myself today or get help" because I was SO DONE with that feeling, that horrible empty, hopeless feeling.  I went to my first AA meeting thatnight and haven't touched a drink or drug since.
I haveno problem with weed, however.  Ijust shoose not to do it because 1.  I want to stay SOBER and 2.  I have a daughter who is 7 months old and I get retarded on weed.
Oddly enough, I was prescribed vics and percs when I was pregnant so that's how that started.  I used ot think it gaveme the will and energy to do what I needed to in life, like see people, go out, housework, etc. but then it got to a point where all I wanted to do was have some pills and even though I was in pain andin need of them, I knew I was abusing them.
When I quit the pills, I pretty much did the same thing.  I was somewhere where I knew I could get help with my daughter so I just said, "I'm going to try it and see how much I can take"......The kicker is that I had about 60 pills I was carrying around in my pocket as a scurity net because the panic used to set in when I had non left.  I always knew in the back of my mond that I COULD take one if I HAD to.
I slipped on day 4 and took a half to get some sleep because I was about to go home but that was it for me.
I just continue to pray and come here to remind myself how easily I could turn back.  I have a totally addictive mentality.  It's scary sometimes.
Your posts make me laugh a lot so thank you for that and I do see myself in you too!
WE SHOULD PROMISE TO KEEP EACH OTHER IN CHECK WHEN WE START TO WIG OUT ON SOMEONE!
hahahahahaha      .

Thats a super idea........I just came back to read before going back out to get the little one....and wow, I am so blown away with your post....You have such a willingness and strength I dont often see....Its really cool......
Its funny, because I know I relate to alot of people in different ways, but when I read your posts sometimes I feel like Im there face to face with ...myself....its something I have not often felt..
I appreicate very much with what you offer, you have something there that keeps you in check, I had that once....I have 2 children I dont get to see. Not from drug use, not from any abuse other than the retardedness between my ex and I...ON both our parts I have to add. Everyone has to play their part with things. It tore me apart and away I went, for reasons that I guess I can only understand, my cousin gets it in alot of ways and she helps me out alot. I can say Im learning so much from her that I didnt exactly get as a young girl going into womanhood......So life does have its twists and turns...

I partied but not that hard, really.....I got clean the first time when I was 16 and stayed that way until the kids and I were going thru seperation with their father. And since Dec I have quit everything but pot and have struggled with the pills......IM at a very different spot and a challenging one....as we all are in alot of ways.

Wow, this has been interesting....heres my email, I would love to keep in touch with you! charity_wasse_feir***@**** . Take care ..I have to get going soon..and want to catch up on other posts...i think..lol

Loves ya,
C

I have to run too actuallyl but I do have so much more to say......
I'll email you later.
My name is Tara but I won't post my email on here because it has my last name in it so when you get an email from a Tara, that's me!
:)
Have fun!!