talk to a lady on here named Duchess Golden , just  put in her name where it says "comment to" she';ll reply tonight , and go to al-anon , its a support group for people who have loved ones who r addicted to alcohol mostly but pills , coke , meth etc. oooxxx Keri

You are doing fine.   I had never taken dregs before either.  However, my second bought with a ruptured disc in my neck I found I had become dependant/addicted to my pain meds.  For me its a fine line my dr have down I was dependant all that I know is that those little pills had a strong hold on my life .  Prior to this experience I used to put people like me in a catagory.  Boy in the past seven years of my life have I learned not to judge.  Just becouse this happened to him doesn't mean he is weak or anything and the end of this maybe he will be even stronger.  Keep reading peoples post about how they are doing through w/d, I know a couple weeks into it I kinda pushed people out because I was so drained.  Keepposting to us and we will try to get you through this.  I don't know if there is any different form or groups you could go to but I think you are in a good place here.

I was referred to you from someone on the forum. I didn't want to post my entire situation, but living with someone again with an addiction I have learned that honesty is the only way. I was married with 2 children for 10 years when I learned that my husband at the time was addicted to cocaine/herion. He tried to kill me and has been in jail for the past 4 years. I haven't dated much since or with the divorce, being a full time student, working 3 jobs and raising the kids. Until about 5 months ago I met a man that I thought was everything I had waited for in the past 4 years. Fantastic career minded individual like me. I am a RN and he is a fireman. Well I stumbled upon a look I hadn't seen in many years. It was all in his eyes one night. I asked him if he was on drugs and he said he was tired of lying to me and he had been snorting Oxy for the past 4 years. My initial instinct was to run, but he told me that when he learned my story about my past, he felt terrible and wanted to begin treatment. It's only day 6 today that he has been in outpatient therapy and day 6 of withdrawls. I want to be there for him, because admitting he had a problem meant alot to me and following through. He said he doesn't want to lose me or the kids that he has grown to appreciate, but I know the disease may contradict otherwise. How do I support someone? This is all so new to me and so scary. I told him that when he asked me for his support, I only took on the responsibility with a "zero tolerance", mind set. I know all the signs, the pupils, the heartbeats, the breathing, itching, etc. I just want to learn how to be the support he needs without being codependant or an "enabler". Am I making a mistake taking this on? It took me a better part of three years of therapy to get where I am today after the family tragedy in late 2002, then after weeding through the gardens for 4 years I find a flower with an addiction. Please share your thoughts on how I proceed with support.........

yeah just stick around , read post , share , get to no the regulars , and we will get thru it , welcome to the forum , u r part of a family now and we are alll here for you , I just have an addictve personality I would get addict to smokin pine cone if they gave me a high lolololo anyways stick around ooxxxKeri

Thank you all so much. This really means a lot to me. I have already found a NarAnon group that meets on Saturday morning that I will be attending. If you read my previous post I have been through this once before, but the outcome wasn't so great. But then again, never did my ex-husband admit he had a problem......I was over-reacting. At least Brud (the new boyfriend) is making an effort, that is what's driving me to stand by his side.

Hi...I know your in a very precarious position...how to help without enabling. I have the same problems with my BF (alcohol) and even though I have an addiction to hydrocodone I do have a legitimate reason to be on them...but not abuse them!! Oh well.

I wanted to let you know that there is a site that deals with all sorts of addictions and it also has a group for family and spouses of addicts and alcoholics, almost like an online Alanon group. You would have to google "sober recovery" and that will take you to the site. I probably will get in trouble for giving this info but I believe that we should all get the help we need.

BTW: this site is also great...very friendly and encouraging! Good luck to you.  

Thank you. I will look into that. I had problems with alcohol in the past. I decided 15 years ago I wasn't going to raise my children in an alcoholic environment and quit 15 years ago. I would say in the past 15 years I can count on two hands how many times I have drank. It was a real problem to me in the past, but it was easy to stop because I was starting a family. Even with all the misfortune of the divorce and everything, it tempted the """" out of me, but my kids were there. I just hope that Brud isn't pulling wool over my eyes, because I think he knows how much I want to believe he has the same intentions as I do. Don't get me wrong, he has offered for me to drop him off and pick him up, anything that will make me trust him again...he even has the treatment facility bring me his UA results sealed. Seems like to much to have to be in a relationship, but like I said in earlier post, we really have a great connection outside of this issue.

Another thing this is a great website, I have been searching sites for about two months when I started noticing signs and they don't teach you about "tappering". That's what he said he was trying to do, when I started to question his eyes, heartrate, ect.