boyfriend sleeps with 9 year old daughter

[Espi66]

Hello: I find it very disturbing that my 39 year old boyfriend sleeps with 9 year old daughter.  I find it discusting that he sleeps in his boxer's and the 9 year old very spoiled daughter sleeps with him.  At one time we were on vacation in Mexico with his family he kicked me out of the bedroom we were sleepin in at the sister's house to sleep with her because she cried and made her scene about her wanting to sleep with papi.  I walked into the room to get my stuff and when I turned on the light they were both holding eachother real close it looked awful he had no shirt and I was discusted.  He tells me I am jeleous and selfish, I am not I just think it's not healty or normal.  I have 2 daughters and they spent time with my ex-husband their father and never in this world did he sleep with them and if I was ever told by my daughter's or him that he slept in the same bed, I would not ever allow them to spend the night.  Please advise me am I at wrong?  I have asked several different people for their opinion they all agree with me when I discussed this with him he of course got extremely irrate and said he spoke to his co-worker ( a man) and he told him he thought I was wrong and it perfectly normal and okay for him to sleep with the daughter.  I am sure his co-worker wasnt told all the other stuff that I see.

[kathy434]

This dude needs to be reported to Children Services as well as to the police.  He needs to be thoroughly investigated.  His behavior toward his daughter is totally unnatural, and over the edge.  Her response to her father is very indicative of incest going on.  While you may now be out, this child needs an adult to step in for her behalf.  She doesn't know that her feelings for her father are incestuous.  He makes her feel good physically and mentally and he is a predator.  Turn him in for a thorough investigation.
He only tells you what he wants you to hear, be it that he likely never talked to another guy.  He just said he did.  Another guy would be appalled by what he would say, so he is mute.  Trust me.
YOU are to be that little girl's lifeline before he totally destroys her.  She does not know better.  You do.                     K

[txjdcg68]

I have a similiar situation at home with a 9 1/2 year old step daughter. I know that in my situation, my husband thinks he has to let her do, say, act, and get anything she wants in order that she would stay content to live with him and not go live at her mothers's. Honestly, a nine year controls our whole home. She is the master of the home not my husband. They have a an almost intimate relationship, perhaps an ediopus complex. They hold hands constantly (if he walks to the kitchen she follows him holding his hand) I have to walk behind them when we go out somewhere. She is almost constantly (and I mean 90% of the time) laying in his lap, being carried around, hugging him, holding his hand, calling his name, ect....her separation anxiety from him is major. She calls him nonstop all day long when she is home from school. I figured that as she got older (these behaviors that are more common of younger children) this type of behavior would lessen but actually it is worse now than it has ever been. I am worried that this type of behavior will lead to a very unhealthy thing later when she reaches adolescence. It seems she has a fear of abandonment....perhaps because her mother left her (although she sees her mother quite often). I don't know. I do know that it is a hard situation to be in. My stepdaughter requires all my husband's attention
and he should give it to her. I either have to deal with it or leave and wait for a more conventional situation.

[suzi-q]

The "other stuff" is worse than them sleeping in the same bed.....it definitely seems to me that it is a very unhealthy relationship.  I truly hope this child isn't being sexually abused by this man.  

Definitely keep your children away from him as well has yourself.  I would also make a call to social services.  You don't need to give your name.

Run, don't walk, away from this man!

Rubbing legs?  Kissing all over?  No privacy in the bathroom?????  All red lights!

[ray31]

sounds like he needs parenting classes. hes the dad and he should set boundaries. shes a child and will just try to manipulate any situation to suit her wants. it is innapropriate but i think it might be out of ignorance on his part.i am a mother of a 9 year old boy. i do kiss, hug and cuddle with him, i would allow him to sleep in my bed sometimes BUT he does not see me naked, i give him his privacy and he has been THAUGHT to respect mine. im just concerned about what your feelings are on this because you know him, do you think its a lack of parenting skills or somrthing more. womens intuition is usually right, and if you have a feeling that there might be something sexual going on, proof or no proof, its is your duty to protect her if no one else will. childrens services probably should be informed, they are not there to take her away from her dad but to help him better parent a 9 year old girl. either way, good job on leaving, its just way too weird and i doubt you could of had a healthy relationship with him and his daughter.

[johnnycat25]

i grew up in a family where my mom walked around in her underwear and as a child that always gave me a sick feeling!!!! please dont let your girls be around him, cause even if he wont cross the line with his own daughter he might with yours.... never worth the risk!ever! i was molested as a boy and i think that our children need to be taught boundries to protect them... i have a daughter and step daughter 16 and 14 and even as little girls they had to wear shorts under there night shirts and my boys and girls were not aloud to sleep together after 4or5 years old......please make sure someone knows!!!!!!! for the girls sake

[WTF75]

WHAAAAAAAATTTTT! I am interested in the other stuff. I slept with my parents for a long time and I think it was creepy. I have four kids and they were not allowed to sleep in bed with me. Some families are different though. In some cultures they all sleep together. I think it is usually becasue of a lck of space ( like in a hut in the jungle) It is not common in American culture to do this with children over four or five years old. Certainly when you are with him he should not have her in there. I agree with your upset about being kicked out of the room. There is something I have realized about human nature. Modern humans have strayed from our animal insticts. Humans are also very instinctual creatures. Usually if you have a funny feeling about something you are right. I would be concerned about both of their behaviour. It is not a healthy situation even if it does not invovle an incestual relationship.