Voicing my thoughts of late...

[fitnesslifestyle]

Hey all,

Just needed somewhere to post some thoughts where other people will actually understand. I spent two years on and off various opiates for the anxiety relief/blissful euphoria, etc, wont delve too much into that other then I always managed to keep it in low doses even when it was daily for months at a time. I quit cold turkey three and a half months ago because I finally felt it was controlling my life. And each subsequent week after stopping, I figured the cravings would diminish. But here I am, almost four months later and still craving a couple vicodin just as much as I did the day I quit. I've concluded the only thing stopping me from using again is the fact that i haven't used in three and a half months and dont want to start that over. Part of me feels like if they ever treated GAD with opiates, id be the first in line and part of me feels like I never want another one again. Do the cravings ever go away? Am i doomed to hear that devil in the back of my mind telling me a couple percocet today wont cause a full blown addiction tomorrow? I either wish the chemical imbalances in my brain, which lead me to pills (cop out?), didnt exist or that I never found opiates so id never know the feeling and effect they have in changing those chemicals. I have a Psych I see about GAD and what not, he knows all about the opiate addiction and "in time it will get better", but i'm beginning to have my doubts about that. Sorry to rant and rave, I know others have had it MUCH worse than I have and have been through much more pain dealing with addiction but I needed somewhere to vent. So for anybody who reads this, thank you, I do appreciate it.

[fitnesslifestyle]

Thank you for all your replies, I appreciate it very much. I guess when it rains it pours. Currently seeking a new job, which back then would of been remedied by vicodin, going through relationship issues, which also would of been remedied the same way. On top of some other financial issues. Ive craved them ever since i quit but I guess the cravings the last week or two have been so intense and frequent cause of my life currently that I finally needed somewhere to vent because nobody in my life truly understands what this is like. Exercise definitely helps, I'm actually a personal trainer (well, not currently, but by profession) and that has definitely contributed to keeping me somewhat grounded. Just tough times, very glad I found this community and all the helpful people and words on here. Thank you all.

[Ella789]

  Yes, the craveings do still come around to p*** me off.  Anymore , it just makes me angry!.  Don't know why except at three months(on the 16th) I figure I have come this far and made it, why would I go back to taking pills again on any sort of regular bacis?  It would be like asking for a kick in the rear, they are such controlling things! I just want to live without them, even tho I am a chronic pain sufferer and all, I found out that after this long without the pills, I have LESS pain now, crazy I know!!  Sometimes we just get caughtup in the addiction and it takes more and more to ease us!  My heart goes out to all of us as we struggle to get the months behind us and wait for the time to heal us!

Ella

[Florida_Guy737]

Almost 16 months and really no cravings anymore.  The cravings would come and go up to the 9th month mark for myself but exercise really kept most of that at bay.  Congrats on recognizing the cravings for what they are...cravings; be a good idea to identify your triggers as well so you can deal with them immediately to mitigate the craving issue.

Just a thought

Guy

[merrymaria]

hi there...i know what you mean....those cravings kill....i m over 10 months clean and i must say that they have diminished....as time moves on so will the cravings.  it just takes time for our brains to heal...hang in there and one day at a time...congrats on your clean time and good luck to you...maria

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Congratulations......as Lesa said, sometimes it does take time to heal.......stay strong and give it the time that it needs....

[10356]

Congrats on almost four months.. It was good you were able to keep it to low doses for so long.. unfortunately that only works for awhile as we become tolerant we up the doses.. going through wd over and over is also very hard on the body and emotions.. I have been clean almost 7mo. and I do not experience cravings as intensely. I also had picked up a hobby of photography.. I get myself outside taking pictures when I feel cravings or anxious. it helps to take my mind completely off it.. I now do it more for pleasure but it does still work for it's original purpose.. some of us have to replace the time spent doing and on the drugs. Give it more time as 3 months is a sorta hump month when for some the cravings lessen.. I wish you well.. lesa