12 weeks clean!

[Madmax88]

Well haven't posted in a couple weeks, been busy with the holidays (things were good this holidays so naturally I though "hey 1 pill won't matter, you deserve it"). Though I never did so happy about that. Told my sponsor about it, i was told next time r happens to instantly call them but it was the holidays didn't want to bother anyone. Thoughi did have one slip I had some molt liquor on turkey day. Hope everyone else is still going strong!!

[Madmax88]

Gnarly that sounds like me as we speak the racing thouths and obsessions and worrying. Future tripping huh well that's rewarding there's a name for it lol.

[gnarly_1]

Hey Max....well paws is usually 4 to 6 mo out and most people dont get it  right now your just dealing with the addicted brain  the racing thoughts the obsessions compulsions and the constant worrying we call it ''future tripping''  that is why this is a daily progam  you only have to stay clean for a day at a time  just know your on the right track  keep in touch with your sponcer and work the steps  those that go to meetings tend to stay clean  as always keep posting here we love to follow a successful recovery  it shows others just what it takes to stay clean.................................Gnarly...............................

[meegWpaw]

congrats on 12 weeks Max!  good for you!  i think you're going to get a lot of varying info about PAWS ... not sure what to say on that.  but keep at it and turn away from those 'slips' of any kind.  it will f you up in the end.  good luck!

[Madmax88]

Quick question for whomever, PAWS I don't know what to expect with paws or if il even get it how do/would you know when it starts? I've read it comes in between months 2-6 and I have days where I fell like it's starting then a couple days later disappears im sure that's normal but who knows. What are the symptons? Is my time line accurate? Can I expect it to be happening in my near future if it hasn't already? I've been stressing about it for some reason, mainly cause my sponser said im getting to the paws stages and it's like "**** now I gotta expect this" but my sponser also said I may not get it. So it just leaves me with ???? I feel myself slipping out of the drug world, il catch myself in the mirror sometimes and think to myself damn your life's changed drastically these last 3 months, I even get the thoughts in not an addict anymore. Being so used to living around the pill that when you forget about them and are actually just living life you realize your a productive member to society and not at home popping pills. I just have to watch myself when things get too good, cause that's when the " reward thoughts" come into my head like " your doing so good just take one" so it's defiantly still a struggle.

[Madmax88]

Well I would have never went to NA if it wasn't for people like you strongly recommending it on here!! Very glad I did I see a lot of relaspes and I question where I would be right now without NA.. Anyways I had no access to the pills but that addict mind can make you find 1/4 of a pill if you think about it long enough. I was cleaning out my truck and found a half of hydrocodien I immediatly tossed it in the grass ha. Narly hopefully I'm able to say the same, cause I couldnt imagine getting to 3 months so every extra day is just a blessing. I'm looking forward to that 6 month marker, hopefully its 10x better then what I'm feeling now! I still have so much what I think is anxiety. I don't get panic attacks but I worry/stress about everything and I mean everything so I think that is anxiety? Depression comes and goes but hey least I can sleep I try to remind myself about how I could never sleep and that just makes me thankful. Anyways thank gnarly for always leaving your 2 cents it will always be apprciated!!

[gnarly_1]

Hey Max  congrats on 12 weeks your doing great....im happy to here your working the N/A progam it  is the single best thing you can do for long term recovery  if it works for a old dope fiend like me it will work for anyone.....keep doing what your doing it is working for you and as always keep posting here for support...........Gnarly