150 Days Clean!

[kyle505]

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you on this forum who've helped me (more than you will ever know). Although I'm pretty much enjoying a normal life again, I still have that little voice whispering in my ear, tempting me to take a pill. The longer I'm clean, the better I handle that voice. And, it's during those times that I find myself logging on to the forum for support. Reading the posts I'm constantly impressed by the courage and determination of others struggling with "my" addiction.
Thank you all. Thank you so much.

[akitagurl12]

Congratulations!!!  You are such an inspiration to me & I am sure many others on here. Keep moving forward & sharing your journey with us! :)

[Dixiechick72]

Great job kyle!!!! So proud of u!!!! I can't wait to be where u are!!!! Keep up the great job!!!!

[kyle505]

So it's obvious that your memory improves when you get clean! Vicki, selfinduced, Sara, atthebeach...I don't have words, which is not like me. I remember the first days, but finding that people on this forum remember also, well, it's really amazing. This place is more than a bunch of us on computers, looking for and/or trying to help. I always encourage new people to read the posts. Anyway, thank you, thank you.

[atthebeach]

wow kyle. 150 days so awesome.congratulations.
yes the battle is won one day at a time.
you will continue to get stronger and stronger,
you are winning the battle.
i also remember when you first posted.you posted alot for support. one concern you had was coming back east to look at colleges
well that mission  was accomplished.
i am so proud of you and so very happy for you.
you are living again.
recovery is a marathon not a sprint.
keep running the race with patience.
hugs and continued blessings
debbie

[ImDONENoMore]

Congratulations!

[dominosarah]

Oh you make me so happy kyle!!  You worked hard to get where you are at today and it is paying off.  Hold that clean time sacred and do whatever it takes to stay that way, your life depends on it~~sara

Happy dancing in your honor, Minnesota style~~

[vicki595]

Hey Kyle!  I remember your very first post and how emotionally crappy you were feeling.   How far you've risen!  I'm so happy for you now and know you've worked very hard for this day. A large part of your success is due to your wonderful attitude and humor...it just never hurts to laugh at all the irony!

Big hug to you!   Vicki

[Stacy_Lynn]

Big Congrats to 150 days clean!!!! That's a lot to be happy about!

[kyle505]

Romancing pills - perfect. That is exactly what I've been trying to explain; I too think about the warm and fuzzies, and when I do the days in hell tend to fade. I printed out my posts when I was going through the initial detox, and I read them at least weekly. I never want to forget what I've accomplished. And thanks for the info about our brains and opiates; again, I knew it but couldn't explain it. Actually, I think we all know. Thanks.

[kyle505]

I think that this forum is important because of the honesty. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted, that I didn't hear the voice; although 150 days is a good amount, I know from 15 years of using that my head will never stop talking to me. And I'd bet the folks out there with years clean will say the same thing. Recognizing the temptation, and understanding that you'll probably never be completely free of the voice is the best way to stay clean. Denying that it could happen again, or thinking that years of clean time will act as a barrier against the need will just get you in to trouble. Life is great without meds - that's another thing that helps.

[Bearclaw2]

Good for you! In reading some of your posts I have come to know you as a no nonsense no fluff kind of guy, I like that. I have seen you challenge people making excuses, not being honest with themselves, them being angry at you and you holding your ground with tough love and you end up helping them. About that 'take a pill' romance that continues in our heads, I read something once that really makes sense... "Once opiates strongly activate the pleasure center in our brains, that pleasure center has a strong desire to repeat the experience" This pleasure center has no memory of the sickness of withdrawal, it only remembers the pleasure and wants it again. A while after my last recovery I found myself romancing pills, I would allow myself to daydream and recall those pleasure feelings, to relive them in my memory, this is what lured me back into using occasionally and of course more trouble. I have since learned to stop the pill romance thoughts as soon as they start, I will not allow them any longer because I learned what that leads to. Arrest those thoughts as soon as they start, don't allow them to hang around in youy head for more than 2 seconds, with practice I have learned to stop those thoughts in a split second. Also, when that pill romance starts I replace it with a memory of something bad and hope this will trick my mind into not wanting to go there at all...    

[Fireby29]

Kyle!  That is so awesome what you have accomplished.  I would be lying if I said the fact you still hear whispers does not make me worry for you and selfishly, for myself.  I want to not hear it ever again.  However, the fact that you handle it better every day that goes by gives me great hope and inspiration.  Thank you for that!

Bryan

[kyle505]

I got clean because I was ashamed, tired and wanted to start living without the lies, without the pills controlling my every waking hour. I wanted to stop wasting time that could otherwise be spent with my family; the pills took years away from me, or should I say, I allowed the pills to take the years.
As far as staying clean, well that's a day to day process, but one thing I use above all else is the memory of my four days in hell. I've posted this before, but the older you get, the worse the detox is. I wasn't ready for what I went through, yet I see it as a blessing. I won't do it again...I can't.
That's my secret.

[ribs2k]

Congratulations. Way to go. Gives me some hope! Anything stand out as the biggest reason you where able to get and stay clean?
Randy

[selfinduced]

YAY KYLE! I can remember when you first posted like it was yesterday, my heart ached for you as we both had teenage kids going off to college and I remember how emotional you were taking your girl to the airport. I wanted to reach out and tell you. its going to be ok, just your emotions returning in droves. Until you drag urself thru it, you don't know it. From day one you put your self out there, good, bad evil and absorbed all that was thrown at you like a champ. Them with in days posting to others your encouragement and cheering them on. Oh, and lets not forget your first BM (yes, memory like an elephant I have), we all cheered over that one. You've come along way Kyle, so, so very proud. xx

[kyle505]

I thought that the ramped up emotions part of my recovery was over, but you guys are getting me all misty eyed. Thanks.

[littlebit667]

Kyle you were an important part of my getting clean.  Thank you for that and congrats on your 150 days!  

[holagirl907]

Very inspirational...You do give us hope

Thank you!!

[IBKleen]

CONGRATULATIONS! It is always nice to hear a success story and nice to see you paying it forward. You have to give it away to keep it and you are doing just that.

Keep going forward. It only gets better from here!!

[thewaz]

You are so awesome and congratulations.  I'm kicking my heels for 20 days today.  Sounds so "hefty".  I want to throw the thanks right back at ya.  You were one of the first people to come to me when I posted on Day 2 on Mother's Day.  You have and continue to hold me strong through this journey.  And I am so grateful to you for doing that.

[Sonrissa]

soooo happy to read this! You truly are an inspiration to those of us just starting this journey! Well deserved congrats!! By the way, you sleeping yet?  LOL Thank you so very much Kyle!!