2nd day from1.4 mg...NEED HELP

[NeedHelpNow321]

Hello.  Any support or help would begreatly appreciated.  I am 34 yo lady who used heroin for 4 years.  I got on methadone 6.5 years ago and my life changed for the better.  

I was at 30 mg for like maybe a year but it literally made me high and sick. So I went down to 15 mg for a little bit then 5 mg for th epast 4 years.  I went to 2.5 mg very easily for awhile.  On Monday I went to @ 1.4 mg and felt like I hadnt taken any at all.  I did that until Wednesday and thought, f^^^ this and just stopped.  

During the 1.5 mg days, I cried had panic attacks and very very strong urges to just give up!! Same way I feel now.  I woke up in a panic this morning.  I called into workthis morning bc I just couldn't.  I have been taking a cople 7.5 hydro to be able to get up and calme down.  I am very healthy and very emotional person anyway.  Methadone never really numbed my feelings.  I am so scared right now.  I just feel so emotionally depressed and I am just a wreck emotionally.  I have a couple valium and I take like half during these extrme panic attacks I have.  The panic attacks are what are getting to me.  Every couple hours I freak out literally.  

ALso, to add, my methadone never held me 24 hours when I was at 5 mg.  I have felt horrible waking up the past many years.  

ANy advise or support or stories would help so so much.  Thanks.

I have a full time job, husband, 12 y/o, and a bunch of dogs:)  

[EvolverU]

Under 25 mgs. - depending on your metabolism - your Methadone metabolites tend to register under 100. At 5 mgs. they'd be negligible. That's a good thing, btw!

[SmilingBright]

I'm not sure about the urine test.  Maybe someone else will know.  

Yes the anxiety was the worst part for me.  I didn't have many other wds that I couldn't handle.  And actually being at work was better for me and my mind than staying Hm is !!  For some crazy reason staying busy helped me ALOT!!  Just a thought

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thank you for your kind words.  I am doing what I have to do to get by each minute.  This is so hard.  The anxiety is really getting to me.  My mind keeps racing and my body just feels wierd!!  I am trying ot save my valium for Monday so I took a hydro.  It takes the edge off.  

I have to get by and to the end of this.  I just have too.  

I hope my my son's bday I can sit and behappy and smile and laugh and not just fake it.  I pray by Monday I can goto work bc if I have no choice not too.  

I have a question, i had a urine test about month ago and they said there was barely any methadone mtabolites in my urine.  Is that good bc that means th methadone will leave my system fast or is that bad?

[SmilingBright]

Sounds like your anxiety is pretty high....  Relax.   You will be ok on Monday.  One day at a time!!  Not sure if this is ok to say.... But at this point w anxiety being this high maybe taking a small Amt of a Valium would take the edge off.   Bf your thoughts go to crazy!!  Try and slow your thinking down.   I bet u will be much better than u think by your sons bday!!!!  

[NeedHelpNow321]

Here's hoping I can actually make it to Monday.  

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thanks and congrats on being off 30 days!  Im jealous :)

I am really struggling at this moment both physically and mentally. I have to work monday, no choice no option not too and I am trying not to think about it but its hard.

I am holding out as long as I can so I don't take a valium or hydrocodone bc I just want to wait until iti is unbearable and the hydro upsets my stomach.   Plus I don't want to become depemdant on that.

Everyday has been h*** since I went down to 1.5 mg on Monday.  What a wate of three days.  I am still holding on that those were actual withdrawal days also.    

My sns birthday is in 3 weeks and I just have to be fine for that.  Sh**, I need ot be alot betterby Monday.  Here's hoping my low dose helps this speedup.